


I fought the law...

by irlhawke



Category: Avengers (Comic), Young Avengers
Genre: 1898, AU, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-30
Updated: 2012-07-28
Packaged: 2017-11-08 21:44:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 53,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/447874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/irlhawke/pseuds/irlhawke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>1898 New York City<br/>Theodore Altman, proudly wearing his father's bowler on the top of his head, sets out on a rough journey when he one day realizes his fellow policemen might be keeping him in the dark about what is actually going on in the slums of downtown Manhattan. And what if some of his coworkers are even behind much of the terror spreading on the dark streets?</p><p>Being an officer himself, he sets out to find the truth about what is really happening in this busy city, turning in his desperate search for answers to a young man from the slums, a man named William Kaplan, who seems to possess all the answers Theodore could ever wish for. Without knowing it himself, this course of action will come to change his entire life, and the lives of many others...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the glorious Young Avengers Big Bang thingie! The few characters that are not originally from The Young Avengers or Avengers comics are not fictional, they are real historical people who lived and breathed in 1898. All facts about surroundings and such have been researched, at least as far as could be researched... I hope you like it

New York City  
Manhattan  
Winter 1898

He sighed and pulled his fingers though his blonde hair, his chest heaving heavily with every breath and his left hand aching when he pulled it with his body from off the ground. His head was pounding and all the usual sounds from the busy street behind him were strangely muffled and distorted. He must have hit his head harder than he had first suspected. He leaned against the wall and blinked twice, his damaged arm leaking blood by the second. At least the bricks were cold against his head.

“Altman?” someone called from the street he himself had come from, not more than fifteen minutes ago but the voice was unrecognizable now that his ears were ringing like they were and he decided he would try to take care of his own injuries instead of hoping the person would come find him. For all he knew, the man calling for him couldn't even see him where he was standing, which was behind a small, abandoned street stand.

The injury on his left arm was a cut, not too deep but bleeding abundantly. It would need treatment by doctors, at least if his boss would have his say in the matter. He closed his eyes momentarily and drew in air in his lunges, ignoring the pain when doing so, before he pulled the right sleeve of his shirt off and wrapped it tightly around the wound. He wouldn't want to get even more dizzy from the loss of blood after all. As he knotted the fabric, which was turning red quickly, he felt a strong hand on his shoulder and the stinging sensation of pipe smoke in his nostrils. He had to cough.

“We are here now” the newly arrived man said. At least all sound seemed to be back to normal now and he nodded as to assure them both that he was fine, even though that question had not been asked yet. The older, taller one next to him was already taking care of him with the help of two other men, helping him to the automobile parked by the side of the road. “Everything will be alright, you'll see”

After that, he blacked out.

...

As Theodore opened his eyes, bright light threatened to blind him and he closed them again, groaning while turning to his side, only to regret it as a bolt of pain shot straight through his body when he leaned on his hurt left arm. With more difficulty than he would have anticipated, he sat up and rubbed his eyes and temple, now looking out over the crowded room with growing aggravation. He was back at the head quarters, the New York police department, Manhattan district to be exact. And it was a busy day like always.

He looked down at the neatly wrapped bundle of fabric which was occupying the skin on his left arm and hand, tried to move his fingers but decided it would be a bad thing to do and stopped before he could get them to respond to his wishes. Instead, he got up and fought both head ache and nausea as he stepped over to his own desk and sank down in his chair. He had been resting on a bench, which had been placed in the building for tired cops to sleep on, in case they had to work late. It seemed someone had advised his boss to not send him away to rest someplace else, probably because he was needed still. He was glad because he was in too much pain to be able to rest anywhere else.

“Altman!” Someone called and once more, he didn't bother to turn and see who or why his name had been spoken. If someone had something to say to him, they could just as well take a few steps and say it to his face. It turned out, this time, it was only Steven Rogers. He seemed nervous and jumpy, like always but his blond hair was still as tidy as ever. “I am so glad you are up on your feet again” he smiled and gave him a soft pat on the shoulder with his hand. He was kind and caring, warm hearted. Probably the reason why he was hired to do paper work, not fighting crime out on the street.

“I am glad too” he nodded back but didn't feel like getting up. Steven seemed to notice and didn't expect him to, instead he leaned against the side of the desk with that casual smile on his face.

“The boss told me to talk with you when you came to, although... I think he will be the one to take your statement in the end.” he then said and Theodore nodded, because this was true. “He wanted me to talk to you about a supposed witness to the explosion, they picked him up somewhere, further in the alley from where you were found, if you understand what I mean? Apparently, he is a suspect now...”

“Who was it? Did you get a name?”

Steven shook his head and sighed. “He doesn't say much, but he is young. I would say not much older than yourself” he then answered and threw a short glance towards one of the smaller rooms to the side, where some minor suspects could be placed while waiting for interrogation. Theodore didn't follow his gaze, he knew where those blue eyes would land. “And I do not mean that in any bad way, even though you are younger than most cops around here, you are very capable...”

“You don't have to worry, I didn't even realize you were calling me young” Theodore smiled and noticed the slight blush on the other's face before it was gone, as quickly as it got there. “Who tried to talk to him, earlier?”

“Barton” Steven answered plainly and stood up straight again. “Should I get you the statements?”

He shook his head and got out of his chair. His body was still stiff and pounding but he chose to ignore this and stretched his back a little. His left hand fingers were less swollen now and he could even move his thumb. Progress. “Tell the boss that I am up and running, Rogers. I can see him whenever he has time”

“Yes sir”

When the older one had left, Theodore turned his attention towards the detention rooms and when no one was in his way, he stepped over to the door, located the furthest away from desks and employees. The other rooms were empty after all. There was a small opening in the wood, where you could place your eyes and see the person inside. He did so and crossed his arms over his chest while watching the young man on the other side.

He was black haired, dark eyes looking back at him from underneath unkempt bangs. He was lean, but not far away from crossing the line and becoming gaunt, slimmed fingers brushing quickly through his unwashed hair as he stood up to approach the door. His lips were cracked and dry, there was a blue mark turning green on the right side of his face, looking older than three days, but still painful. The man didn't say anything but he didn't look away from Theodore's face either, his eyes wide, almost terrified from behind all the dirt covering his skin.

Theodore decided he wouldn't say anything either. It was for the best if they didn't speak at all. Because of this, he turned away and ignored the sound of those slimmed hands gripping for him through the narrow space in the door. Why the other would do that, Theodore had no idea, but it didn't much matter to him either. As he stepped into the larger office in front of him, he could hear the man call something behind him. But he had no idea what it was all about and felt no need to turn back and see what was happening now either.

“How are you feeling detective?” he was asked as soon as he seated himself in the chair in front of the large desk and Theodore smiled a little towards him.

“I have been better, and I am sure that I look worse than I believe I do” he then answered and noticed his bowler, which was placed on the desk in front of him. Apparently someone had saved it from the burning alley earlier. He was glad he wouldn't have to get himself another one. He was quite fond of it, to be honest. “But I still feel good enough to work. The wound has stopped bleeding and my head does not hurt anymore. I will be fine.”

“This is good news” the dark haired one assured and nodded, his eyes a bit brighter now. They had always been good friends, mostly because of his boss' relationship with Theodore's father. Of course he would feel less worried now that he knew the youngest member of Manhattan's police force was doing just fine. “Did you see the one we brought in for questioning?”

“Yes I did” Theodore answered and the older one seemed pleased. “May I ask, why is he a suspect? I can't seem to remember seeing him in the alley myself and he does not fit the description of any other gang members we have been tracking?”

“That is true”

“And he has not spoken one word since he came here?” he continued after the short response he had received. “Are we even sure he knows the language?”

The older man seemed to think this over for a couple of moments. His silence made Theodore uncomfortable and he fought the urge to shift his weight in the chair. “He has been responding in ways that make us believe that he understands us...” he eventually answered and shrugged casually. “He was found not far from you, fainted, but he could just as well have been struck to the ground by the force of the explosion, like yourself... Besides, he seems to be Jewish...”

“But why does that make him a suspect in the matter?”

“You know why. And we do not have any other suspects...” the dark haired one sighed after thinking the whole thing through. “You know what that means, do you not?”

Theodore chose to do nothing else but nod at this. Of course he knew, both what it would do to the credibility of the police force, but also how it would affect his fellow officers. They had been going through a rough patch these past years, even before Theodore joined the department about one and a half years earlier. It had started as rumors, spreading on the back streets of Manhattan, rumors of gangs spreading terror and anger as they stole and raped. Around the disorderly houses of Allen Street, that's where they were. And even if eight years had passed since it all had begun, there were no more real leads than as if it all had started yesterday. Oh well, some people had been suggesting, with sinister voices that Jews might be behind it all. This was something Theodore refused to believe. It would make sense, since the blocks around Allen Street were full of immigrants from all over the world, mostly Jewish, but to pull such a sharp line without any kind of evidence... that was not something he was willing to do.

“I saw an empty alley” he then said, breaking the silence with his statement. He knew he had been called here to testify and that was what he was going to do. “It was darker than I had been expecting, and the woman I was supposed to meet was not anywhere in sight. As you are aware, I was supposed to meet her by her shop, but it was closed and abandoned. I would assume that she had been warned by someone that there had been explosives placed in the alley and instead of coming to us, she decided to flee without giving us the warning. Or she might have been in on it and intended for me to be blown to bits... I am not sure. But as it was, she was not there and when I turned to see whether she was further away from me than I had been anticipating, the world suddenly grew dark and painful...”

“You do not remember what happened right before the explosion? Not what triggered it?”

“No” he said again and pulled a lock of blond hair back from his forehead. “I have no idea what happened really, other than that I got hurt and you have a suspect. I would like to say, however that if you should bring someone in, you should try and find the old lady...”

He was dismissed with a nod, like always, quicker than expected since someone else was waiting to talk to the chief. He was happy to be out of there anyway. Lately, he had felt like maybe he should move away form the district and get himself a job under some other captain. This one cared too much about him, personally and would never take him seriously if he came with criticism or suggestions. Of course he appreciated everything chief Stark had done for him, but he knew he was a good detective too. He would not have come this far if he had not been working as hard as he had.

It was with a nod back and grabbing his slightly dirty bowler that he left. The room where the young man had been held was empty now and the door was slightly open. Maybe they had already started talking to him again? What if the kid didn't have any idea what they were saying? He was probably terrified. Poor man.

He soon realized though, that he could not keep worrying about their suspects, because his head had started throbbing again and he felt dizzy. He decided to leave early, knowing that there was not much more he could do anyway. He checked out with a reassuring smile, receiving a worried one from Steven, and was soon back on the street. It was cold and growing darker by the minute. He quickly made his way towards the electrified streetcar, which he was lucky enough to catch immediately and soon find himself right outside his apartment building. The daughter of his landlady came to meet him with a smile, but it faded instantly as he came closer. Apparently, he really looked much worse than he had thought.

“What happened to you?” she hurried and took the two steps, which lead her out of the building, in one jump. She was dressed rather casually this time, unlike most girls her age. Marriage was nothing she was aiming for, at least according to her mother. “Come on inside, I will make you some tea...” she added and reached for him, as if he was about to collapse and die if she didn't help him up the stairs and in through the gate. He smiled though and let her care for him. He knew it would calm her down, and her nerves had been all frizzy ever since the first time he met her.

She brought him into the rooms she shared with her mother, pushing long, blonde locks back behind her ears to make sure they were not in the way as she made them tea and fetched him a nice cold cloth for his aching head. He seated himself quietly on one of the chairs, placed around their kitchen table, and smiled as she worked. She had always been so nice to him.

“So, will you tell me what happened?” she eventually asked as she placed a steaming hot cup of tea in front of him on the table. He shrugged slightly and took the cup with his right hand, already missing the use of his left one since he usually held cups with both hands. He would have to wait a while before he could do that again though.

“There was an accident...” he lied and drank the scolding hot drink, shivering as it warmed him from the inside out. He loved the way he could really feel it run down his throat. “But I am quite alright. My arm was bleeding before but it seems to have stopped. I hit my head as well, but as long as I lie down and rest for a while, I am sure I will get better”

“I am glad to hear that” she sighed in relief and met his eyes calmly. She was a remarkably calm woman, very unlike her own mother. Theodore was not used to women like her. His mother had been very frantic and extremely worried about losing him, just as she had lost his father. Overly protective, he would say. “My mother always says you should be more careful.”

“She and my mother should meet” he smiled and enjoyed her giggle. He knew what was expected of them, what her mother was expecting along side with the rest of society... he would not have been allowed to be here, alone with her, if it had not been for the wish that he would soon ask her to marry him. She might not be anyone of class, but neither was his own mother and she had married a police man. Cassandra would make a good wife, he was sure of this. He really was. She was aware too, and he had noticed it, mostly because she had started acting differently around him from how she had been acting before. It was almost as if they were already engaged.

They spoke for maybe an hour, mostly about her, since he was not really allowed to talk much about his work. He would not want to cause her any worries anyway, it was better if he kept the worrying to himself. When he eventually excused himself, she helped him up the stairs to his apartment, even though he really didn't need the help at all.

“Thank you Miss Lang” he smiled before he watched her leave down the stairs again, her eyes smiling brightly back at him over her shoulder before she was out of sight. He locked the door tightly behind him and sank down on his bed without hesitation. Before long he was asleep and did not wake up until the next morning.

...

His head hurt more and more, no matter what he did and after brewing himself some coffee and reading through some old statements he decided it would be best if he just got out for a walk in the cold weather and clear his mind. After getting dressed properly, mumbling about the snow and changing his mind three times, he eventually stepped out of his warm apartment and pulled his coat tight around his body. His bowler was on his head now, feeling good there where it belonged. He had cleaned it by the table while eating his breakfast. All the dust was gone and he'd make sure to be more careful with it in the future. After all, it had been his father's.

The air was crisp and froze his lungs but he quite enjoyed it, he realized as he made his way down the bright street. For some reason, on mornings like these, there seemed to be a lot less smoke in the air. The stench of burning coking coal usually lay thick around these streets, but not on cold mornings. The air seemed brighter and refreshing even. He did not at all mind the freezing of his fingers and toes if that was the case.

Finally he had the day off and had to worry about nothing else than what he would eat later and how far he would be able to walk before he needed to get back. The street was busy and people were everywhere. They nodded his way, looking worried or scared. Most knew he was a detective, and seeing a detective with blue marks and bandages must be frightening somehow. People in this city did not know what to think about their law enforcement officers these days.

He passed the Dakota and sat for a while and watched happy people skate on the ice in central park, men and women laughing and falling everywhere. Skating was about the only thing you could do where falling over was part of the charm, he was sure. The thing about skating was that most people, no matter of what class, could enjoy it without shame. Maybe not if you were the queen of Britain though. He leaned back on the bench and yawned, enjoying the fact that his headache was slowly fading.

He must have dozed off because suddenly he was brought back to life by the sobs of a child, sitting on the bench next to his. It was a young boy, maybe five or six years of age and his clothes looked too thin for this type of weather. The young one was not wearing any skates, suggesting that he might be waiting for someone else who had been skating and obviously never showed. Hence the crying.

“Hey...” Theodore said sweetly and got up from his bench, walking over to crouch in front of the kid. He had holes in his shoes... those tiny feet must be so cold. “Hey don't cry...” he hurried and leaned on his hands against the seat of the bench, on each side of the boy's legs. “Tell me what's wrong, I'll help you...” The boy looked up, deep brown eyes staring at him with terror, more tears leaving them. He was so tiny and so skinny he probably lived in one of the streets on the lower east side of Manhattan. “Don't be afraid, I am a detective you know... whatever has happened to you, I can help you fix it, I am sure”

The boy's eyes widened and he bit his lip, the cracked skin breaking even more by this act but he did not seem to notice. “You're really a policeman?”

“Yes” Theodore smiled and nodded. “And I happen to have the day off, so let's see what I can do to help you, now that I actually have the time, shall we?” At this, the boy nodded slowly and dried his tears away with an unwashed hand, a slight smile now twinkling in his eyes. He looked hopeful at least, that was a start. Theodore nodded again and got up, only to sit down next to the little one on the bench, looking out at the skating people as he waited for an explanation.

“I lost my mommy...” he eventually said, after wiping his nose with a fresh handkerchief Theodore handed him. His voice was shaky, as if he had just realized, again, how utterly lost and lonely he was. His English was not without dialect but very good. He must have lived here for most part of his life, which might still not be very long in this case. “...in the park”

“How long ago was it that you last saw her..?”

“I donno...” the boy answered and bit his lip again as more tears streaked his face. “I have been looking... but she might be home now...”

“Do you know where you live?”

“Yes” he nodded quickly. “But you have to go by the streetcar.. and they won't let me ride it... not on my own...”

“Good for you that you are not alone then” Theodore smiled gently and softly let his hand rest on those tiny shoulders. He was shaking, probably both from cold and crying. It was so sad to see a kid feeling this way, no matter if it was a poor one or someone who had the entire world at his feet. A sad child was still heartbreaking. The boy looked up at him and they both smiled now. This would work out just fine, he was sure.

Within fifteen minutes they were by the streetcar. He had had to carry the boy half the way there, not because he had been complaining but because Theodore didn't have the heart to let him walk around in the snow with shoes like that. The boy had laughed as he was picked up, behaving like any other kid even though he had been so sad just now and it had warmed his heart to hear that fluttering sound. People had been looking, but Theodore didn't care much about that. So what if he was carrying a kid from the slums? He was still a police officer. He was supposed to help the society and that involved helping this child. He was sure anyone would have done the same if they had been in his place. Quietly, at the back of his mind, a thought lurked though... a knowledge that told him that was not at all true. This city was not like that, but he hoped it would be some day.

The man driving the streetcar did not seem very happy though, no matter how much Theodore smiled at him when the trolley stopped in front of them. At first, he thought it was a bad joke but when he realized his blond passenger was completely serious about bringing a “filthy” child into his cart, he wouldn't let them. He grunted something about recently cleaning and that people did not want to get infected by some rare disease. Theodore quickly ran out of patience and issued the fact that he was a police officer and that he should be allowed to bring a lost child the office. The man looked suspiciously at the child, grunting that he had had no idea that trash even cared about their children enough to even report them missing. The boy looked confused but didn't say anything that might give them away. He just stood there and clasped Theodore hand tightly with his tiny one. Poor child. The man nodded them on, not giving them another look and Theodore quickly picked the boy up in his arms and stepped onto the streetcar with his anger towards the man quickly cooling off. He didn't want the boy to notice after all.

When they were finally seated, the boy quickly hid his face in Theodore's arms, trying to get away from the staring eyes and he understood completely. He gently patted the soft brown locks, feeling strange when holding a child this way. He had never had any younger siblings, never even though about whether he would be a good father or not. Besides, mostly the mothers were the ones to comfort children, weren't they? He had heard from his own mother that it was in a woman's nature to be good with children. However, he was fairly certain that he had heard from his boss once, that his late father had been a very caring one, who had not cared if other people found it strange for him to enjoy the fact that his son wanted to sit in his father's lap, rather than his mother's. He had asked his dear mother about this, but she had dismissed any talk of his father. Losing him still hurt her, he could tell. He was sad that he had very few memories of the man. He knew they must have been very dear to him before he lost them.

He looked down and smiled a bit at the boy in his arms, noticing how calm he had gotten now, even though people were still looking. Burying his eyes in Theodore's shirt seemed to help with the stage fright somewhat. He was glad that this one didn't seem to think it was a bad thing that he was a man and not a woman. It would have been awful if he had been crying all the way after all. Better that he felt safe. Maybe he too, had a father who did not mind picking him up and caring for him. After all, this boy might be from a completely different culture than most people Theodore knew. It might be different in their home? Maybe some day, father's would be expected to take care of their children as well, not just providing for them. Secretly, he wished for this. For the sake of the children mostly. Children like this one, curled up in his lap.

“We're here” he said as the trolley stopped, after quite a long ride through the city. The boy looked up quickly, as if he had been woken from sleep. He was an adorable child. The way he rubbed his eyes made him look even more tired and Theodore decided it would just be for the best to keep carrying him. The boy did not seem to mind and as they stepped off, he pointed towards the Bowery block. Theodore hesitated and gave the boy a quick look, he seemed happy to be closer to home now than before at least. He took a deep breath and watched as people from all over the world passed him by, merchants and children running all over the place with bags of clothing, jewelry and food to sell on the streets. This was his district and still most officers refrained from entering these streets. It was with reluctant steps that he finally started walking again, holding the child closer to his chest now than before. It is hard, not to get infected with fear when all you hear are the stories.

The boy wanted to get down and he let him, he was almost certain the kid would just take off but he did not. Instead, the tiny one clasped Theodore's larger hand in his own, smiled up at him and led him through the streets, further in than he would ever had dared going on his own.

“Is it far?” he asked and the boy shook his head as they passed a jewelry shop that looked both dark and sinister. The boy seemed not to even notice the gloom, or the old woman who stood and watched them from an open doorway. Theodore did not belong in this place, but neither did these people. They should not have to live like this... regarded as nothing but disease stricken filth.

“Here!” the child eventually smiled and pointed at a large door, which was both crocked and askew. Theodore nodded and reached for the handle, opening it with all the strength he possessed in his right arm. The left one was feeling better now, but he had used it a bit too much while lifting the child and carrying him around town, so he figured he would have to rest it for a while, so that it would not start bleeding again. “Thank you!”

He followed the now running child up the stairs and into a gloomy locking corridor where the doors were marked with numbers from twenty to something higher. The brunette stopped in front of one with the number twenty-three and knocked hard on the wood with his tiny knuckles. Theodore shifted his weight slightly and bit down on his lip. What would he say when the door was opened? He might not even be able to find his way back, should he ask for directions? And what happened if no one opened at all? Would they have to wait here for someone to eventually get back home? For all they knew, the boy's mother could still be back there, in the park, looking for her lost child... Now he just felt bad. But there was no time for that, because the door was opened abruptly and if Theodore had not been quick enough to pull the boy away, he would have been hit straight in the face and probably knocked to the floor by the sheer force of it.

Brown eyes met his own as he looked back up after pulling the small one away. The striking resemblance with the child suggested this was an older brother or maybe the father? He looked young, but definitely old enough to have children. His hair was a mess and the cheek underneath his left eye freshly swollen. His lips were cracked and dry, black-brown bangs almost covered a fading blue-green mark on the right side of his face... It was the man from the station, tall and slender, dark eyes deeper than any arterial well Theodore had ever inspected in his youth, out on the countryside.

“Hi...” he started, but the child was already throwing himself in the dark haired one's arms, hugging the man tightly while speaking in a language Theodore did not know. The older one was silent, lifting the boy to his chest and held him tight, eyes still fixed on Theodore, anger and confusion strikingly apparent in the depth of them. Theodore did not know what to say, neither did he know what the boy had already told and therefore he kept quiet, only watching as the child spoke enthusiastically in something that sounded almost like German.

Eventually, after answering the boy shortly and putting him down on the floor, the older man straightened up and addressed Theodore personally. His voice was smooth and strong, eyes never wondering, always stern and watching his every move. “Thank you...” he said, his English flawless, strangely enough. “...for bringing my brother back home. My mother is not back yet, but I am sure she will be thankful that you have found him and kept him safe. He has a knack for running off when he finds something interesting and then not find his own way back”

“I see...” Theodore nodded and managed a smile, even though he felt as if he was being watched with both disgust and anger. Did the man remember him from the police station..? He tilted his head only a little, noticing the distinct bruising around the man's wrists as he reached to stroke the boy's hair. The bruising of firm hands and rope. He had been beaten since they last saw each other. Badly. “I am glad I could be of help” he then continued and smiled down at the younger one, who was beaming up at him from his older brother's waist. “If there is anything more I can do, just let me know?” The question was mostly directed to the child and the boy looked up at his brother, stars twinkling out through his eyes.

“Can he come in and play with me?” he asked, the innocence in his voice burning its way straight into Theodore's heart. He wanted to smile and say he'd love to play with the little one, but that would certainly not be appropriate. Besides, he was quite sure the older brother would not approve. “Please..?”

The man looked up at Theodore again, eyes narrowing and lips tightening. “No, he has to leave...” he then said and crouched in front of the young one without another look back at the detective. He met the child's eyes and suddenly his expression was kind and gentle, his lips were smiling sadly and his fingertips stroking the tears from the small one's eyes. “He can't stay here, you understand? He is not from here... besides, I think the detective has other things to do today, he is working you know...”

“No he's not!” the boy exclaimed and looked up with wild eyes at Theodore, who was so shocked he just stood there. “He told me he has a day off, right? You said that...”

“Nonetheless...” the dark one sighed and lowered his head momentarily before looking back at his little brother. “...you have to trust me on this. Please go inside and I will talk to him. Mother will be home soon, go wash up”

The boy did not look pleased but apparently he knew he could not argue and sighed. “I hope I see you again...” he said, turning to Theodore and he smiled back down at the boy. He was very sweet indeed.

“I am sure we will” he then nodded and reached his hand out to shake the boy's but received a tight hug instead. Those small arms wrapped up hard around his waist and Theodore felt his heart break for the little one. One day he would have a better life than this one. He would make sure of it. “Now go do as your brother tells you, all right?”

The child nodded and was off, running into the gloomy looking room with his hands in the air, already playing some game no one but him understood. Theodore could not help but smile as he watched him go. Maybe he would enjoy to be a father after all. One day. He would make sure to actually spend some time with his children, unlike most. The brother did not seem too amused and was now eying him again, which Theodore did not notice until he met brown looking back at him.

“Now, can you please leave my family alone?”

The words were harsh and the eyes even more burning than before, his hands were knotted into fists by his sides and his entire body tensed. Theodore wrinkled his brows and studied the movements of the other for a couple of seconds before responding softly, as calmly as he possibly could. No use to be intimidated by an already beaten man. “I don't quite understand what you mean? I only returned your brother to you, I found him in Central Park..? I don't see why you should feel threatened by me presence here, since I have never done your family anything?”

The man was thrown off but his eyes did not wander from Theodore's face. “By you, I mean your friends at the New York Police Department, bringing terror and pain into our society under the name of justice and preservation of the peace...” The words were almost spat out and he had to blink in surprise. He had never heard someone say something like that about his place of work. Ever. “You have caused my family enough pain already... why do you have to constantly make us pay for the fact that you are unable to do your work?”

“I...” he tried but the words where stuck in his throat. He knew the department could not have done anything deliberately bad to this family, it was not possible. But there was so much rage and sadness built up in this man, shining straight through him as he spoke, that it was hard to come up with something constructive to say, that would not only calm the other, but also prove him wrong. Eventually though, the black haired one sighed and averted his eyes, shaking fingers massaging his hurt wrist without him thinking about it himself.

“I'm sorry...” he then said slowly. “I know it is not your fault, and I see you were injured back there... but I am tired of constantly having to worry about whether my father will come home safe every night, or if my mother will be dead when I wake up... My younger brothers are scared and I cannot leave them alone here for the fear of finding our home emptied when I come back. My brothers are everything to me.” He looked back up and Theodore hindered himself from looking all too shaken when he saw the tears now falling from those brown eyes. “...I know the police department is here for our good, that you are doing all you can in a city that is slowly dying... but please. My family will not survive if I get arrested again...”

“Hey...” he hurried and took a step closer, causing that other to back up with startled steps into the apartment again. “Don't worry, I won't hurt you, or your family... And I am certainly not here to arrest you” he quickly assured. The other looked suspicious but stopped in the doorway, his eyes wandering to the door as if to assure himself that he would be able to close it anytime. “I will talk to the Chief, back at the station. As long as you are not in any kind of serious trouble...” Which Theodore unfortunately knew the man was. “...I am sure I can help you. But as it is now, the chief sees you as a threat, because you nether speak nor tell us any information about your current situation...”

“Because they beat me...” the man interrupted and dried angry tears from his cheeks. “They dragged me to the back and kicked me until I lost my senses. When I woke up, apparently, they had decided to let me go and I found myself in a pile of trash, down at Allen Street. Why should I talk to someone who thinks that beating me and leaving me outside of a disorderly house will make me respect and open up to them?” When Theodore failed to speak, the black haired one only snorted and turned his face away once more. “You didn't even know... did you, Detective?”

“No” he admitted as he felt disappointment and rage bubble within him. Why had he not been told of this? “I did not.”

“I suggest, with all due respect... that you go back to your fancy office and talk to the chief. Tell him that I will cooperate, if it means I will not be killed by your men or dragged away from home...” the dark one boldly stated when silence had fallen between them once more, eyes almost mocking him along with the grin that was growing on his face. “You do not have to believe me, you should ask them for yourself. But the more of you who come here, the more my family will be harassed and followed by people with real means to hurt us... Do you understand this Detective?” As Theodore nodded, the other man nodded as well, pleased, and continued. “Therefore, I am asking you never to come here again...”

“What about the fact that you will give us information? How will we get in touch with you if we cannot come here and see you in person?”

“Tompkins Square” came the answer and he raised a questioning eyebrow, wanting the rest of the sentence to be able to understand why the park had been brought up. It was located not far from either the Bowery or the station, always a lot of people from the more poor parts of the city, close walking distance to both shops and streetcars. “Tomorrow, I will meet you there. You and only you. I will tell you what they want to know and then you will leave me be...”

“I am not sure if they will allow me to...”

“Then don't come” the dark one interrupted, calmly. “If they do not agree, do not come. I will wait there, but if you do not show... I will make sure you never find my family...”

“Can you really do that?”

The other snorted and grabbed the handle of the door firmly. “I could at least try my best... we rats are good at hiding you know, especially from people who would love to exterminate us...” And with that, he closed the door, leaving Theodore in the dimmed hallway, alone and with no idea what to think or which way to take to get himself back to the cold outside.


	2. Chapter 2

It took him more than half an hour before he found a streetcar that would take him to the station. His head was hurting again, this time worse than before. He was worried and confused, thinking that the man had probably been lying to him. The police force was not supposed to abuse people as they had that man. It could not be true but he had to ask. He had to know. The trolley was slow and crowded, his bowler felt heavy on his head and he constantly felt himself drowsing away into the world of blissful sleep. When he was finally there, his face felt warm and he could barely keep his eyes open when stepping out onto the snowy street.

Heads were lifted and whispers broke out as he passed the first room. These people he didn't quite know, but they certainly knew about him it seemed. Steven came hurrying for him as he stepped into the larger office, looking very worried. Theodore didn't even bother to wonder why. He just wanted to get this over with so that he could go home and sleep.

“What are you doing here today Altman?” the older man asked and he felt his lips crack as he answered. That was never a pleasant feeling.

“I need to talk to the chief... it is very important. Can you tell him for me, Rogers?”

“Certainly” he nodded, his blue eyes showing his worry even though he was still smiling. “Would you want me to make you something while you wait?”

“No thank you” he declined and seated himself on the bench outside the chief's office. “I will be going immediately afterwards. Would not want you to go through a lot of trouble making me something I still won’t finish...”

“I will tell him right away then” Steven nodded and was gone.

Only minutes later, the door to the office opened and he was invited inside. It was warm and comfortable in there, but something seemed different form the other times he had been there. He did not feel as safe as he always did... maybe because he was doubting the credibility of the man in front of him? Maybe because he had realized that this man was nothing like his father had been. He would never have let something like this happen. If it even was true. But it couldn't be, right?

“Theodore” the chief said and stood up as he entered. He always used to call him by his first name when one of them was off duty, but this time it did not make Theodore smile as he usually did. He seated himself in front of the desk with a sigh and met the other's light brown eyes firmly.

“Anthony” he started, feeling annoyed as the other one grinned, failing to see the seriousness of the situation. Not that he had any idea what Theodore was there to tell him, but he should have caught the serious tone in his voice at least. This man had a problem with being serious it seemed. “I happened to run into our suspect today...” at this, Anthony's eyes narrowed and his grin faded. The change was so dramatic it almost looked silly. “...he was showing signs of bruises, and he tells me he was beaten here, is that correct?”

“Beaten? Here?”

The man was buying time by repeating the question. He was stalling. Theodore had seen it before, but never in this man. Was he thinking of what to say? Of how to best cover the whole thing up maybe..?

“Yes, here” he answered instead of pointing out to the man that he could see through him quite nicely. “I can understand that sometimes, certain means of persuasion is required to get information out of known criminals” he then continued quickly and felt his voice shake as he started understanding maybe what he had been told was nothing but correct after all. “But to torture a man who has never before been known by the police and who has not done anyone any harm... only to get him to give us information that we are not even sure he even possesses? I think this is very wrong, and if it is true, I would like to talk to you about this and make sure it does not happen again.”

There was silence for longer than what he felt comfortable with, but before he could speak again, Anthony finally answered to his accusations. “He was not speaking, and I told my men they had the right to do what was necessary to get the information we needed out of him”

The answer made him sick to his stomach but he hindered himself from showing this anywhere, not by facial expression or in the tone of his voice. “And yet, you got nothing, isn't that correct? Did it ever occur to you that he might not have had any idea what on earth you wanted to know from him?”

“It did” Anthony sighed and got up from his chair to be able to go through some papers, turning his back towards Theodore. Deliberately hiding his face. “But did it ever occur to you that he is from the slums, with both his parents involved in serious crime, born Jewish and his father on the run for murder?” He turned back again, looking almost victorious. “I thought it had not. Well, I am sure your little friend forgot to mention this to you, but as it turns out, this is the truth. The man can be innocent for all I know, and the fact that he is a Jew has almost nothing to do with him in this case... in fact, even though you might think this of me; I do not have any kind of personal problems with the fact that Jews seem to be all over this town... after all, we are all immigrants. The thing that bothers me, is that when we take them in for questioning, they always keep so bloody quiet. Just like he did, and I ask myself; if he did not know anything, why did he not just tell us so? We would have let him go? No, he has to sit there quietly, protecting everyone he knows because according to them, we are the bad ones.”

“If we keep treating them like rats, sooner or later, we will be” Theodore objected and stood up himself. His heart was banging painfully against his chest now, it always did when he was angry enough to shout at a man twice his age and strength. “I don't care what your personal opinion is, Sir, I really do not. But these people hate us because of what we do to them and their loved ones when they are not guilty of anything, not because of what we do to a man or woman who has done wrong. I know in my heart that they feel the same way we do about people who break the law... and of course I am not talking about stealing food now, because some people really have to do this to survive... I am talking about real crime here, Sir; murder, ravishment, assault and thievery. If we keep treating this growing society like we treat pest and vermin, that is what will grow out of it. People need us to keep the peace, so treat the people like human beings and then you can expect their cooperation.”

“It is not that easy Theodore” the older man tried softly. “And you know this from personal experience...”

“I do” he nodded back and let his eyes catch the other's gaze. “But what he told me about his life made me realize that if we keep treating this as a war, they will not give in until they have won it or taken half of us down with them in their fall... Before my time here, there were riots worse than the police force had ever imagined. I remember them because I heard my father talk about them at night with my mother. She was afraid to even sleep when he was at work, afraid he would not come back to her. He was lost in this war, Anthony, and I pray that he will be the last...”

“You are too worried about this” the dark haired one sighed, but Theodore had noticed him flinch at the mentioning of his father's death. “There will be no more riots and no more casualties. Maybe you are right about us being too harsh towards people that are less fortunate than we would care to admit, but that does not mean that they are allowed to commit crimes and we should turn the other cheek. They, like everyone else, need to see that we will not go lightly on people who break the law...”

“But this one has done nothing wrong!”

“How do you know this for sure, Theodore? You are, truly, very bright and I can assure you, you have made both your parents proud by joining the force. But you are only twenty-five years of age... I would advise you to leave the more difficult evaluation work to the more experienced detectives here, while you go home and rest. You have been through a lot these past few days. It is time that I see the seriousness in your injuries and send you home. You are not fit for duty...”

“You cannot do that..?” Theodore tried but the man's face had grown stiff, without emotion. “Sir, I... I am fit for work, you know I am? I did not mean to get upset, I just feel that there has been a mistake here and I want to correct it...”

“Go home, Altman, before I take your firearm as well”

And that was that. There was nothing more he could do. The man had turned his back again, already lightening his pipe. Theodore just stood there, his breath still rapid and his lungs aching. What about the things he had been wanting to say? For instance, that the man they had just had a fight over was going to see him the day after and tell him everything they wanted to know? Maybe he should bring it up now, before this got any worse... on the other hand, why should he help this man when all he seemed to care for was that he kept people behind bars and could do whatever he wanted? It was better to just go and see the black haired man alone, and if the information he got was good enough, maybe he would come back to the office and have Anthony Stark beg on his bare knees for the answers he then would possess. The thought was appealing and he decided to go through with his plan, leaving the office silently, without another word.

...

It was cold, but not cold enough for him not to smell the stench from thousands of chimneys spewing black smoke above the rooftops. He closed his black coat harder around his chest, happy he took this one and not his uniform. It would have been too prominent, he did not want to look like a police man today, plus it was much less padded than this one and he suspected he would be outside quite a lot this afternoon.

Since the black haired man from the slums had not set a time for their meeting, Theodore assumed that any time during the day would be good and had decided he would take it after lunch. That way, it would not be so utterly cold and he would have some time to collect his thoughts and decide upon what he was even going to say to the man. When walking the distance from his building to the streetcar, that would take him straight to the park, he had decided that at least he should not tell the man that he was off duty for the moment. It would spark too many questions and frankly, he did not feel the need to hang around the slums all day long.

Upon stepping off the slowly moving vehicle, he threw a quick glance backwards to see if he was being followed. Why, he was unsure, but it felt better to know that he held track of who came and who went behind his back. With a deep breath he then steered his steps towards the white park, hands buried deeply the pockets of his coat and his bowler resting firmly on his head. It was better to just do this and get it all over with. He was nervous, and a bit frightened that maybe the other man would see it.

The park was crowded, even being in the middle of winter and the middle of the day. He was not surprised, not really, seeing as there were mostly people living in the slums here, most had no other jobs than selling things on the streets. He was even happier now, than before, that he had not taken his uniform. This way, he could look like any man taking a stroll through the park. The only thing that might make him less of one in the crowd was the fact that his hair was clean and his clothes stainless. No one seemed to really care, however, and since his blonde hair was neatly tucked in underneath his bowler, he felt no need to worry about his ethnicity.

After a while, cruising around the park with no luck finding the mystery man he was having an appointment with, he was almost about to give up. Maybe he should have been there earlier, but no matter the case, if the man was not here anymore, it would be pointless to try to find him. After all, he had promised not to come banging on their door again and the man had said they would be gone anyway. He sighed and was just about to turn and head back the same way he had gotten there when he saw a familiar boy running his way with a smug grin on his face and a wooden sword in his hand. At first, Theodore was convinced the boy was running towards him, but quickly realized he was too deep into the game he was playing to even realize he might run passed someone he knew. That was exactly what he did, closely followed by three other boys with worn clothes and brown locks of messy hair. He envied their happy games for a second before raising his gaze and finding himself staring straight into those deep brown orbs again, caught in their hold even though the man was too far away to even call out for him. Theodore swallowed sharply and walked over there, his palms growing sweaty in his pockets.

“Detective” the man grinned as he approached him and Theodore suddenly felt calmer about the whole thing. There was no malice in that smile of his, only some kind of mocking sense of pride maybe? He looked better today too, rested somehow. His left eye was only partly swollen and the lingering bruise on the right side of his face had faded to a light brown-yellow color. He looked cold, probably been standing outside for longer than he had expected, even though he seemed to be warmer dressed than most in this park. “It is nice seeing you here” he then continued and reached his hand out for Theodore to shake. “I was starting to think you might not show, lucky for you, I had nothing better to do than to wait for you all day...”

“I did not intend coming this late...” he lied in a hurry and gently took the other's hand. The fingers were cold against his warm ones and he bit his lip in worry. Maybe they should try and get inside somewhere? He would not want this man to freeze to death, not on his watch and after everything he had been through. And on top of that, these fingers were awfully slimmed. That could not be a good sign either. “...but I got held up at the office. Have you waited long?”

“Not longer than I could have if you hadn't showed” the black haired one shrugged and his eyes wandered momentarily, landing on the boys, whom here playing not too far away. “I had to take the boys out of the house anyway, they love playing here so I think it all worked out nicely”

Theodore nodded but did not let his eyes off the young man in front of him, secretly wondering everything you could possibly wonder about a person when you know nothing about them. What was his name, where was he from? When did he come to America and how old was he? Why was he such a caring big brother and what was it that he was so keen on holding from the police that he was willing to get tortured for it? The man seemed to realize he was being closely watched because he looked back at him now, big eyes blinking slowly underneath his gaze.

“My name is Theodore Altman, may I ask you for yours?” Theodore quickly asked, when the other's attention was back on him and the man seemed everything but surprised. “I know that you did not want to give it to the police. But I can assure you that I will not tell it to my chief, if that is what you would wish?”

“I don't quite care whether your chief finds out who I am by now...” the slimmed one smiled and stuck his hands down in the pockets of his pant legs, without commenting on Theodore's name. “...I have bigger things to worry about and if you do agree not to come to my house again, even though last time it was not for me but for my father, I am sure it would not matter whether he knows who I am or not...”

“I think he already knows...” Theodore admitted when thinking back about the fact that Anthony had been mentioning something about this man's father being wanted for murder?

“Well, there you go” the other one nodded. “Then what difference would it make if you know?” When Theodore only looked confused, he continued. “My name is William Kaplan” he said and reached his hand out once more, as if this was the first time they had ever spoken to each other. “I am twenty-five years of age, born Jewish. I came here with my family seven years ago, on a small boat that was supposed to bring us to a promised land, but instead took one of my brothers from me and forced my father into hiding. He is wanted for a murder which he did not commit, but it was made to look as if though he is the one the police want and for the past two months he has been hiding from you, from the gangs... well, from practically everyone with sharp objects at hand”

Theodore nodded. Wanting the man, well, William, to know that he was listening even though he could come up with nothing good to say at all. He tried to remember what he was being told, but it was hard to focus on details told by someone who was holding so much pain and anger from breaking his voice as he spoke. Theodore's heart was already throbbing with guilt he could not even explain. He had not done this man any harm... still, he wished he had, so that he could at least apologize. He shook his hand once more, feeling something shifting inside him, something changing deep down, something he could not explain.

“The other day...” William continued softly, gesturing for Theodore to take a stroll with him through the park. “I was heading to my father's hide out, my mother had told me to bring him some food, since she knew he would not have time to make his own that night. I knew I was being followed through the alley and like all others would have, I decided to take a detour. That is when I was suddenly thrown to the ground by a blast up ahead...”

“The explosion you mean? The one that I almost got caught in..?”

The dark haired one nodded and looked a bit sad somehow. “I am sorry you got hurt because of it. I am sure it was an attempt to hurt or kill me, not you...” The words confused Theodore more than he would care to admit but he only assured the other that it was not his fault. “I do not know what triggered the blast...” William sighed after being assured. “It could have been anyone or anything. A cat maybe? Point is, if I had been any closer to where you were standing, I would probably not have survived... They should be glad I was not. My father would have killed them...”

“But it also put you in another kind of danger though, did it not?” Theodore asked slowly, warming his hands in his pockets now. “It made you a suspect in a police investigation. You said yourself that you cannot afford to be apprehended by the police again, right? Are you sure they will not try to hurt you even more now..?”

“They might” the other nodded. “But I cannot do anything about that now, since it has already happened. If I would have known they would try to blow me up or that the police would apprehended me, I would not have stepped out of the apartment in the first place. But since I cannot go back in time, I will have to move on instead. If they come for me, that is something I will have to deal with later, not now...”

“True”

“As long as I do not have to worry about the police knocking at my door as well, I am sure I will be able to control it” William continued and waved at the boys as they jumped up and down on a large stone, located in the middle of the grass plot. They seemed so happy, completely unaware of what their older brother had to deal with, all hours of the day. “Detective, I am sure that you and all other police men in this city are just doing your jobs when apprehending people like you do, but I still do believe that someone should think it all through before you start a full on war on the streets. Fear is a powerful tool, and you are using it. But when people are afraid, they can also rise up and do unspeakable things, only to feel that they are in charge of their own lives. If I was afraid someone would hurt my family, I would probably even be able to kill, if I knew it would save them, just like my father. Imagine what more dangerous people than me would be able to do?”

Theodore didn't dare give it a thought at all, but nodded anyway as if he knew. He had been afraid that something like that might happen, but how could he bring it up with Anthony? Mr Stark was a man with strong beliefs and a will of steal. If he believed he was right, he would not change unless he had the truth pushed up in his face by the hand of God. This meant that even if a riot had sprung from noting, right in front of the police station, he might still not believe that he could not win the war he had created for himself. Theodore eyed the dark haired man closely and realized maybe they were not at all different from one another. William's father was probably the same kind of person as Anthony was.

They strolled in silence towards the other end of the park, people watching them as they went and even though it made Theodore feel slightly uncomfortable, William didn't even seem to notice their eyes. After all, he was not the one who did not belong here – Theodore was.

There was a bench underneath a large tree and to his surprise, the dark haired one headed for it, even though it looked awfully cold if he was to sit down on it. He did so anyway and Theodore only hesitated for a moment before joining him on the cold surface. William was rubbing his palms against each other, his fingertips paler than normally, slowly turning white now. The air around them was colder now than it had been in days and it almost felt as if Theodore's nose was freezing, now that they were sitting still.

William was watching him, but he decided he would not look back at him at the moment. Instead he let his gaze follow the children, playing not far away. It seemed they had followed him and his dark haired companion, maybe because they had been told by their brother to stay close? Or maybe William had made sure to keep the boy's in sight without Theodore even noticing it.

“So, Detective...” William eventually said, breaking the silence with his soft voice and Theodore looked back at him again, eyes meeting momentarily before the dark haired one turned his face away. “I said I would tell you everything, and you came here because of it. But what is it really you want me to tell you? I thought the police had enough information already, to know what was going on?”

Theodore grinned a little and scratched his neck. It was true that he had thought William had more to tell him than what little he already knew. If the police had more information, Anthony had kept it from him, because Theodore hardly knew anything. At least that was the feeling he was getting now. He almost hoped the police did not know anything, because he would not at all like it if it came out that he had been kept in the dark, ever since he started working for his godfather. “To be honest...” he then answered, feeling stupid as he spoke the truth to a man he was not even sure if he could trust. “...I am not quite sure what the police knows.”

“How is that?” he was asked almost immediately, and the slight worried wrinkle on William's face suggested that maybe it would be okay to tell him at least a little. After all, he seemed to be the kind of person who had a hard time not worrying about other people.

“Well, truth is... A couple of days ago, I would probably have said that I trusted my fellow police men, that I would do anything to help any of them out in a tricky spot and so on... I work for my godfather, you see, and he took after the police station after my father in '77. I've always wanted to be like my father, be a detective and help people around me. But after the explosion, which happened when I was about to go visit an old lady who had said she had information for us, I was sent home. The only thing I could think about was the case, but when I heard your story the following morning, I was not so sure I had the whole picture, if you know what I mean?”

“Were you doubting me or them?”

“Them... I think” he grinned nervously and felt thankful for the understanding smile he was given back. This one probably knew what it felt like, fearing that you are being kept in the dark by people you trust, then realizing that is exactly what is happening. “I immediately hurried to the office, thinking that of course Anthony would listen to me and explain. He was my father's best friend and has always cared a lot for me after all. But when I arrived, he acted as if though he already knew exactly who you were, as if what I had to say mattered less to him than what he was having for supper and... I ended up not even telling him about the fact that I was going to see you here today...”

“But what about...” William started, eyes widening but Theodore interrupted him quickly.

“Not to worry” he assured and smiled again. “I only didn't know how to tell him and figured that if I found something important out today, I would tell him your conditions in the morning and he would gladly accept your terms. I just could not find a way to tell him I was going to see you again, after his reaction to me telling him I had run into you on the street...”

“I see... It doesn't surprise me that he would get upset about you talking to me”

“The thing I think bothered me the most, though, was that he seemed to think I had nothing to do with all this, even though I had been the one thrown to the ground by a blast that could have taken an entire building down with it... Like I should not bother my pretty little head with it, even though it is my job to investigate...”

“Maybe he was frightened..?” the dark haired one suggested slowly and Theodore looked up in surprise. “I mean, you were hurt and then you come into the office, on your day off, babbling about some crazy Jew who says his men tortured him, am I right?” When Theodore nodded, William continued. “If I was your godfather, I would have been scared for your safety... not because I think all Jews are as scary as myself, but because I would not want anything bad to happen to you... so maybe he is keeping you in the dark, slightly off to the side, because he couldn't stand seeing your hurt...?”

“Maybe...”

“You don't seem very convinced?”

“No...” Theodore admitted and shrugged. His eyes had fallen on a grey pigeon, who was busy plucking some invisible food from off the ground in front of them. “He is not the worrying type. At least not to that extent...”

“What is his relationship to your family then? I mean, he is your godfather, and has probably been since your birth, but what is their relationship nowadays?”

Theodore would rather not answer that question and remained quiet for a while. He didn't even know this man. It felt weird talking about personal things like this with someone whom he knew almost nothing about. Still, talking at all was strangely easy around him anyway... Of course, William had told him a lot about his family by now, not to forget. Not much about himself, but his family. Theodore could at least do that much back even though he did not really want to get down to a first name basis.

“He and my mother are very close, but she lives up town so if they see each other more often than I see her, I do not know.” he eventually said. “I lost my father in the riot of '77, that is why my godfather took over as captain of the police force in the first place...”

“Your father was one of the policemen who... died in the riot?” the dark haired one asked slowly, his voice soft now. “I've only heard about it but...”

“Yes, I was four years old at the time.” Theodore nodded back, pushing his feelings away like he always did. There was no use crying over a man you hardly remembered, now was there?

“I am so sorry...”

“Don't be” he quickly smiled and placed his hand softly on the other's, for some unimaginable reason. He quickly pulled it back again and avoided the man's surprised eyes. “It was a long time ago...”

“Don't you think your godfather, being the friend of your father's, is worried that something close to what happened to him could also happen to you?” At the question, Theodore could not keep avoiding those dark eyes and looked back up into them. His fingertips were still tingling strangely from the swift touch. It was an odd feeling he had never experienced before. “I thought for years that my father did not care for me, as he did my brother when he was still alive. But when my father fell ill last winter, he asked me to come to his bedside and told me that no matter what I believed, I should never doubt that he cares for me. He had only been so scared of losing me, just as we lost Thomas, that he had distanced himself in order not to get hurt in the same way again... see, he knew it would be dangerous for us here, as soon as we stepped onto firm ground in the harbor. He needed to protect his family with his life, and things like that takes a toll on you.”

Theodore did not even know what to say. The other seemed to realize and only smiled a little before turning his eyes towards his younger brothers.

“I can't imagine losing a child, but I do know what it is like, losing your best friend...” He looked back momentarily and met Theodore's eyes, his dark one glossy with something looking close to tears. “When you lose someone that important to you, what they leave behind can turn out to be the only thing you have left to keep you going...”

“You and your brother were close then..?” The question seemed dry and uncomfortably cold in his mouth and even though he regretted asking it already he knew very well he could not take it back. Before he had time to apologize, however, the other one had answered his insensitive question.

“He was my twin... we looked a lot like each other, but we were nothing alike. We used to fight all the time but I loved him more than I loved myself. He was always the one looking after the kids, wherever we went... he was always playing with them, laughing with them. When he was gone, I was the one doing it instead, even though I had never felt like doing something like that before...”

“When you lose someone that important to you, what they leave behind can turn out to be the only thing you have left to keep you going” Theodore quoted and the other smiled sadly while nodding.

“You were listening?” he then asked and Theodore grinned softly. Of course he had been listening. Was he crazy? “But do you understand what I mean with it? I can understand that you would be upset that your godfather has not told you everything about what you are giving yourself into... I mean, it even got you hurt, badly, and that was probably something he was very scared would happen to you”

“He did dismiss me, saying that I was off duty, off the case...” Theodore sighed and rubbed his forehead slightly. He had been so upset he had forgotten all about the fact that Anthony might have been overreacting as well. He might be the kind who did not show he had feelings like that, but you'd have to be an idiot to really think that about him.

“You see?” William smiled and nodded with encouragement shining through his eyes. “As soon as he has calmed down and realizes that you are ok, he will probably sit down and talk to you about all this. Giving you the ever-since-your-father-died-speech and you will probably feel bad because you had been wrong about him all along...”

“I just do not understand why he would keep facts about my work from me, when they might even have saved me from getting blasted into bits...?”

“Maybe he regrets that at the moment too, but when you've started covering the truth up, it is very hard to stop...”

After Theodore's short shrug, they sat in silence again, the pigeon still picking away before them, now joined by three others. Apparently they had found something interesting over there. It was strange now, to sit next to this man and suddenly know so many things about him that it almost felt too personal. To be honest, he had never really spoken about his own life like this before, not with anyone. His mother had always avoided the subject when he was around, Anthony had never given him the feeling he wanted it brought up, even though Theodore had needed to talk about it in his earlier years, he was sure. When thinking about it, no one really knew how his father's death and everything following it had affected his life... no one knew anything, except William. Which was just absurd. He was sitting here, not with his future wife or best mate, but with a man he had only spoken too once before in his life, a man with a completely different social status, from a background Theodore was even afraid of thinking about... still, it felt more natural to speak to this man, than to any other person he had ever spoken to before. Strange...

“So, without leaving the subject again...” William chuckled as the pigeons decided to find better feeding ground and left them in silence on the bench. “...what do you want to know, Detective?”

“I am not even sure anymore...” Theodore admitted and shrugged, leaning forward to lean his head in the palms of his hands, elbows resting against his thighs. “I am sure a lot of what you know is already known to my godfather, but I guess I would want to know it too. I don't feel comfortable working here when I do not know all the details there is to know...”

“I understand you...” the dark one nodded. “No matter if he is scared for your safety or not, your godfather should really understand that keeping you in the dark might be even more dangerous than telling you every detail...”

“He is probably scared that if I know things, I will run off and take matters in my own hands...”

“But now, when you feel he keeps you in the dark, that is exactly what you're doing? Can't he understand this only makes you want to learn the truth more?”

“I guess... he doesn't know me very well...”

William grinned a bit, saying he knew the feeling. Theodore could not help it and returned the grin. What was going on with him today?

“The people you are after...” William started though, without him even having to ask about it and Theodore immediately forgot everything else. “The ones the old lady promised you information about, the gang?”

“Yes?”

“Monk Eastman...” The name was said with disgust and Theodore bit down on his lip. He had heard the name before but he was not at all sure where right now. The station maybe? “Corlear's Hook, that's where their headquarter is, although I am fairly certain they have other places to go if someone was to find it... The Eastman gang, they call themselves...”

“How come you know this? Are they the ones who...?”

“Who have threatened to kill my father and tried to blow me up? Yes” William answered shortly and sighed, rubbing his cold fingers together. He was even colder now... they should get inside. “Sadly enough, for me and all the people like me, they are almost exclusively Jewish and people on the streets know this... I am scared for my family, not only because my father is not one of Eastman's favorite people, but also because someone has been spreading the rumor that our father is involved with them, like working to them. Not the other way around...”

“And you know this isn't true?” He knew the question must be hard for William to hear, since he must have been trying for years to convince himself everyone else was wrong about it. He could see it in those dark eyes now, the fear that what he was talking about might not be the whole truth.

“I... at first I was convinced the rumors weren't true. I mean, he is my father... my hero. I was convinced everyone were just lying and that it was killing my father to hear about it... But then I started to doubt it, when I realized that he must have done something wrong to get a death sentence from them hanging over his shoulders, but still he had never told me anything about it. I am his oldest son, I am the one constantly bringing him food and information, but he never takes the steps to tell me what is going on, which is kind of like your situation, now that I think about it...”

Theodore nodded, trying to smile in an understanding way but he didn't know how it came out. William shrugged a little and sighed, scratching his neck before continuing where he had left it. “He has assured me that he is not one of them, and that much I am willing to believe, since he wouldn't have been forced to go into hiding if he was. But it is the beginning of all this that I do not believe...”

“I hope he is not a too big a part of it all... for your sake”

“Thank you Detective... and I don't quite know more than this about the Eastman's, but at least you know now about their whereabouts and who they are. I hope you can get to them, before they get to us and the rest of our society... How they can steal and rape their own, I do not understand” With this, the man stood up from the bench and Theodore did the same, surprised as he was. Was their conversation over..? They had been talking for about an hour, but it felt more like the entire day had gone by. Theodore hadn't even noticed the cold that much, not more than the fact that he had seen the color of William's fingers change from pale pink to white.

“Thank you...” he managed and reached his hand out for the other man, his fingers trembling somewhat from the emotional strain he now realized he had been under. His hand was clasped tightly by the coldest fingers he had ever touched before.

“I'm glad I could help...” William nodded but his fingers remained only a little longer between Theodore's, maybe because he was so cold. Theodore didn't mind, he was the one who had made William wait half a day anyway. The least he could do was warm his hands. He did not pull away.

“You did, thank you” he said instead and smiled. He was slightly sad that it was over. Opening up to someone that understood you had proven to be exactly what he had needed in order to feel trust towards another human being. He would have liked to talk to William longer, which he realized now when it was too late to do anything about it. His fingers were gripped tighter for only a short moment as the dark haired one looked into his eyes. It made Theodore wonder whether William felt the same as he did. He would never have dared asking him. “If there is anything I can do for you, please let me know?”

“Thank you, Detective...”

“Theodore is fine...” he interrupted, surprised at himself for even saying it, but the smile on the other's face made it all worth it. How a smile could make you all warm on the inside he had no idea, but apparently it was possible.

“Then thank you, Theodore...” he corrected himself and the warmth inside Theodore's stomach grew to max, forcing him to exhale quietly for some reason. “But I think, as long as no one form the police will come banging at my door, we will be fine. You really don't owe me anything. I am very glad you even came here to talk to me, I know that meeting me is something which is probably frowned upon where you live...”

“Really, I didn't mind... I have had a lovely time, considering we've been talking about how incredibly sad our lives have been so far...”

This made the dark haired one laugh. The sound was far from what Theodore had been expecting and he could do nothing but stare. There was something about that laugh, the smile and the way his eyes squinted just a little that made Theodore's heart beat painfully hard in his chest. It was as if William had not laughed in years and Theodore knew about it, as if he had been wishing to hear and see it for a long, long time without even realizing it himself. When the dark haired one eventually stopped, Theodore realized he was smiling like an idiot himself.

“I have a bad sense of humor...” William excused himself and dried a soft tear away from the corner of his eye. “I'm sorry... I'm embarrassing myself”

“You're really not...” Theodore assured. If anything, he would have made another joke just to get the man to laugh again.

“Well, I am glad that you feel I haven't been wasting your time...”

Theodore would have loved to answer this with the promise that the dark haired one had not at all wasted his time, but the two boys, who had been playing so nicely until now, were on their way to where they were standing and William became distracted immediately.

“Bruder!” the older one called as they got closer, the younger one holding his brother's hand tightly. His large eyes widened at the sight of Theodore and soon he was smiling largely while waving at him. Theodore's heart was aching for the little one again. He looked even dirtier than before... although, that could be because he had been out all day playing. “Gehen wir nach hause..?”

“We're going now, don't worry” William replied, in English though, to Theodore's relief. He had always found it slightly weird to stand with someone who spoke with another person in a language he did not understand. He was thankful the dark haired man seemed to realize this. “My brothers want to go home...” William then explained and even looked slightly sad of having to leave. “They need to get something to eat and warm themselves. I hope you don't mind?”

“No no” he quickly assured. “I need to be getting back too, and I need to talk to... Anthony as well”

William nodded and looked down at his siblings, love shining through his eyes as he did so. “Well...” he then said and looked back up at Theodore, his gaze still filled with that calm sense of emotion he had shown his brothers just now. “I am glad I met you, Theodore...”

“Likewise...”

“Will we see you again?” the youngest one inquired, his brows wrinkled as his eyes passed from him to his eldest brother and Theodore met William's eyes quickly, not knowing what to say. He knew they probably wouldn't, but should he really tell the kid that? The other man inhaled quickly, looking torn about the situation as well while biting down hard on his bottom lip. ”Will we..?”

“We'll see” Theodore nodded and smiled, kneeling in front of the little one. His slightly older brother, about the age of nine or maybe ten, looked at the two of them with confusion in his eyes. They had never met before, how could he understand why his little brother was so eager to meet this stranger again. “But you be good now, ok? Listen to your mom, and your brothers. Be good and I'll try and come see you some day, yeah?”

The boy nodded, seeming less convinced than what could have been hoped for, but eventually he smiled and stepped back with his brother, gripping his hand tightly again as they walked away down the dirt road. William smiled, sending Theodore a glance to the side as they watched the little ones leave. “Thank you” he said, softly. “I... still can't quite handle him when things like this happen. He reminds me so much of how his older brother was after Thomas...”

“Always asking when he was going to see Thomas again?”

“Yes...”

“Apparently I did that too” Theodore admitted and let his hand gently rest on the other's shoulder for a while, to show his support. “After my father passed away. It will pass, William... no matter how long it takes, one day the pain will be less apparent and you will be able to remember the good things instead of the bad”

“I hope you are right...”

And that was it.

Theodore made his way back to the trolley with his heart trembling strangely in his chest. He was both exhilarated and scared at the same time. He wanted to make sure Anthony knew about all of this, yet he was afraid that if he did tell his godfather what he had been told, he might put William and his family in more danger than they had ever been in. He didn't want anything to happen to those kids or their older brother, not to their parents either when it came down to that. And he certainly didn't want something to happen because of something he had done. As he stood and waited for the streetcar to arrive at the police station, his mind was wandering to those desperate brown eyes, closing his own to imagine them smiling towards him instead. William should be smiling more often. It did a lot for him...


	3. Chapter 3

“What are you doing here Altman?” his godfather asked as soon as Theodore stepped in through his office door, his voice deep and annoyed, gaze following his every move. Theodore didn't answer immediately, instead he shut the door and turned the lock so that no one would be interrupting their conversation, before turning to face the older man.

“I needed to see you” he stated and seated himself without getting permission to do so. He could not have cared less about whether Anthony felt like throwing him out of the room or not, because he knew what he had to say was more important than if he would have to turn in his gun or not. “It is important, about the case...”

“I told you, you should not think about that anymore kid...” the dark haired man sighed as he leaned back in his chair, scratching his stubble with a rough fingertip. He sounded tired, but stern. Theodore felt his stomach clench hard. His father would never have let Anthony use that tone when speaking to him, he was sure.

“Look” he said after taking a deep breath and locked his eyes to the other's firmly. “I don't know what is going on here, I have been kept in the dark ever since I came here to work and to be quite honest, it is taking a toll on me, Anthony. I was almost killed the other day, if I had been any further into that alley I would have been blown to bits, then what would you have told my mother? I am not sure why you are doing this to me, whether you think am too weak to handle this job or...”

“Don't even say for one second that I am doubting you?” the man opposite him interrupted abruptly and Theodore felt his eyes widening in shock.

“Be quiet!” he spat, almost immediately, standing up from the chair with so much force it smashed to the floor behind him. “How can you expect me to think otherwise when all you do is keep the truth from me?! I am not a child anymore, Anthony, in case you hadn't noticed prior to this moment. I am twenty five years old, which in fact is only slightly younger than my father was when my mother gave birth to me. So you listen to me, now, not tomorrow. Now. Because if I say I have something important I need to talk to you about, I expect you to sit quietly on your ass and listen to every Goddamn word I have to say to you.”

The other one just sat there, eyes wide and body tense. Theodore was breathing heavily, his head feeling warm enough for his rage to be visible on his cheeks. He was leaning his body weight on his palms against the desk, feeling them sweat more than they normally did. The most uncomfortable feeling in the world.

“Thank you” he continued when the other finally nodded as if telling him his conditions would be met. “As I was saying... I have no idea whether you have kept things from me because you think me weak, because you are scared I will get hurt or... if it is because of the fact that you do not trust me with the information you are possessing. What I do know, is that there is a lot that you have never told me, a lot that I should have known but you have always kept it so far away from me that I hardly knew the information excised. You see, whenever I get close enough... you push me away. And I cannot stand here and tolerate that anymore...”

“For all it's worth...” the other said, looking away as if he had problems even meeting Theodore's eyes at the moment. It was embarrassing for him, this. “...I do worry about you, because I know firsthand what happened to your father, and I was there when it devastated your mother. I could not see the same thing happen to you...”

Theodore decided to comment on that later. He did not have the strength left in his voice to scream again. But he would remember this... even though Anthony might not even have realized what it was that he had just said. Instead he drew a deep breath again and continued, as if his godfather hadn't even spoken in between.

“I need to tell you something now, which is very important...” He was seating himself again as he spoke, feeling shaky to the knees from standing and screaming from the soles of his shoes. “The thing is, I have no idea if you know it or not, so before I tell you what it is I want you to promise me something...”

“Anything.”

“I have received my information from the man who was brought here as a suspect after my accident” Theodore nodded and watched Anthony's face closely for any reaction. He saw none. If that meant the man was not surprised or that he could just hide reactions like that very well from showing in his face, Theodore wasn't sure. “And his condition for talking to me about all this, because of the safety of his family, was that in exchange for this information, the police will not come knocking on his door again.”

“Why did you promise this?” The question was asked simply and without any kind of judging tone in his voice.

“Because I wanted the information and because I know what he is going through, at least I think I do. I don't want him to have his family killed because someone else has the wrong idea of them” he admitted plainly. “If the police comes and knocks on their door once a month, they will be in serious danger...”

“You did it out of pity?”

His rage bubbled up immediately but Theodore swallowed it while clenching his jaw for a second. It wasn't worth it. “No” he then answered with a strained smile. “Compassion Anthony...”

“Ah... So you are asking me to promise I will not send more people looking for his family?”

“Yes, as a matter of fact, that is exactly what I am doing” he nodded. It wasn't harder than that. Only problem now was that if Anthony said he could not do that, it meant the man still knew William had important information he could tell the police. He could still go after the Kaplan family and interrogate them all, if he did not agree to the terms which Theodore had promised William he would... “Will you?”

“...I will”

Theodore relaxed slightly, trying to hide the fact that he was. “Good...” he then continued. He then proceeded to tell his boss what his and William's conversation had been about, without giving away too much of the personal things. The older man sat there, listening in silence, eyes blinking slowly, face not giving anything away. At least not until Theodore came to the part with the gangs hide out, as he did so, Anthony straightened up in his chair.

“You're saying that this boy, this... young man, knows for sure that this is where the Eastman's are?” he asked, as soon as Theodore had paused to take a breather. There was something glowing in his eyes, eagerness maybe? It was hard to tell. But Theodore felt slightly threatened by it, that glimpse of authority, demanding answers. “How can he know? He is only a man from the slums...”

“That is exactly why he knows. He lives in the slums, right in the middle of it all, he hears everything going on in their neighborhood, sees what happens on the streets. I would not be surprised if we found even more information, hiding behind closed doors of people who are too scared to come forth... but this one did, and we should be thankful for that”

“And how will we know he is not telling us a lie? That if I was to send my men to this location, they would not be met by armed forces, prepared to fire?”

“I...” Theodore had not at all thought about it. He didn't even know what to say. He had spoken to William face to face, and wouldn't that have revealed his true intentions if that was what they were? The man had even been crying. No. He had not been lying. He couldn't have been. No one could be that good at hiding the truth, not when crying like that. And he had the kids too, he would not have let Theodore see them if they had something to do with all this... Right? “I don't believe he lied. It might be hard for you to understand, but I know what I felt when I was with him... and it was not... I mean, he didn't at all seem like someone who would lie like that...”

“But you do not know him, do you? How can you know for sure?”

“If you've already decided on not trusting my judgment on this then just say so. I will not keep defending this cause if you will not even try to believe me”

“I have not decided on anything, I am merely trying to shine a light on the fact that you went to speak to a known criminal about things you hardly know anything about, without even knowing if he could be trusted or if he would have killed you instantly upon arriving... is that evil of me?”

“A known criminal?” Theodore asked without even caring to answer the older one's question. “I thought you said before that you had no clue who he was, how can he suddenly be a known criminal to you?”

“He has done some things, things involving his father, that we did not know about until recently...”

“Recently meaning yesterday when you conveniently forgot to tell me about it, yes?”

“Do not use that tone Theodore” Anthony sighed and stood up, turning away to look out the window. He seemed to be less comfortable around him than he usually was. Maybe that was a good thing, could mean Theodore had been able to hit a nerve somewhere. “I am only trying to explain things to you... but as you said, if you have already decided not to trust my judgment, it would be better for me to not tell you a thing”

Do not use my own words against me... he thought but remained silent. He knew this was just something his godfather said for him to feel guilty about judging him. Of course he did not, he was allowed to judge the man who seemed to have all the answers and yet did nothing but lie about the truth.

“The man you are talking about, is dangerous for all we know...” Anthony continued when he realized Theodore was not going to speak. “As you said, my men even beat him to get him to talk and all we could get out of him was some curses and angry looks. He even spat Barton in the face...”

“And this means that he is dangerous? Has it occurred to you that maybe he was trying to protect his family?”

“And why would he protect his family by withholding information from us, the police, who only try to help?” the man grinned as he looked back to Theodore over his shoulder. “There seems to be a glitch in his explanation and I would love to talk to him myself about all this”

“But you won't” he replied firmly and got up from his seat, feeling so disappointed with this entire meeting that he wished he had not even come here in the first place. The man did not even seem happy that they knew now where the Eastman gang were hiding. “Because you promised me, and therefore you also promised him...”

“Have I ever told you, how very much like your father you are?”

The question took Theodore by surprise and he just stood there for seconds, staring at the other man's face, now that he had turned back towards him. Why would he say something like that now? After all these years when he had never even said a word...

“No, you haven't”

“Well, you are” the man nodded and shrugged before turning back towards the window. “Thank you for the information, it has been very enlightening... however, if I remember correctly, you have been relieved of your duties and should not even be here. I won't take your gun, because you keep putting yourself in danger, but if you come back here anytime soon, I can promise you I will. Is that understood?”

“Yes, sir”

“Good. Now, leave me alone. I have a lot of work to do before I can tell the others what you have just told me...”

Theodore only nodded. He was feeling empty now. The rage had slipped right off him without him even realizing it had happened. He walked towards the door, his feet heavy against the cold floor and he was just about to turn the knob when he was stopped by the other one's words again.

“By the way” he said, a smile on his face. You could tell from the sound of his voice. “Your mother told me she wishes to see you soon”

“Why would she tell you that, and not me?”

“I went to visit her the other day” Anthony admitted and turned towards him again, but Theodore felt no need to face him. It was better to show the rage in your face if you were turned towards a door than your boss. “She said you have not paid her a visit in weeks and wonders if she can come and visit you soon?”

“I haven't had time. But if she wishes to see me, why don't you tell her to come over, instead of giving you a message for me...”

“Are you angry with her?”

“Why would you think that, Anthony?”

“You sound upset?”

Now he turned anyway, his cheeks already blooming with annoyed blush. “It is not my mother I am angry with, Anthony. Frankly, I am not even angry anymore, I am disappointed. I though you of all people would understand what I came here to tell you. Instead all I get is excuses, lies and pity for my mother's sake...”

“I am afraid I don't quite follow..?”

“You said you worry about something happening to me, because you don't want to see my mother hurt again” he answered, opening the door. “I would say, I am quite surprised you were more concerned about my mother's feelings than the fact that I might have died the other day. But you be sure to tell her I love her, in case you cause my death next time? I can't imagine what she would say or do, but at least I will be out of your way and you won't have to worry about her losing anyone else anymore.”

He stepped out and closed the door behind him. He knew he had been acting like a child, but after all, he had never done so before, not even when he had been one. His mother had been a sad widow, with not much strength left in her to remarry after his father's passing. He had done everything in his power to support her and make her smile, he loved her with all his heart. But to realize that her feelings were more important to the only father figure he had ever truly known, than his own life... it made him feel letdown. Insignificant.

It took him less than ten minutes after that, to walk into the small shop on the other side of the road and purchase some food for later that evening and come back out again. The air was thicker than it usually was around these parts of the city and he wished momentarily that he had brought a scarf with him so that he could have covered his mouth. The black smoke always made him cough more than what he felt comfortable with.

“Detective!”

He spun around on the spot and forced himself to smile as he was met by the blue gaze of Steven Rogers, the man standing only a few yards away, waving at him. At first, he wondered what this could be about, whether he was supposed to walk over to his coworker and friend, but as he saw the worried wrinkle on the older one's face, he was even more clueless on how to act. Lucky enough for him, within seconds, the blonde man was by his side and had grabbed him by the arm, already walking down the road with him.

“I have to talk to you...” His voice was rushed and his cheeks flushed. Was he worrying about something? Apparently so. The man was looking behind them as they rounded a corner, as if looking to see so that they were not followed.

“What is it Rogers?” Theodore asked, trying to whisper so that he would not alarm the man further, who seemed a lot more upset than he had ever seen him before. “Did something happen..?”

“I...” the other one started but bit his lips, eyes glossy with worry. “I shouldn't tell you... I know I shouldn't...”

“Please...” Theodore tried, his fingers gripping both Steven's shoulders gently as he looked up into those bright eyes. “I know it must be difficult, but I cannot be held in the dark any longer, Rogers. I have been kept in the dark all my life... please, just this once, can you tell me what is going on?”

The words seemed to pain the blonde man even more, because he almost whimpered and bit down so hard on his bottom lip there was blood to be seen. Theodore took his eyes off of them and let them stay at his friend's eyes instead, begging with every fiber of his body that this man could be trusted to tell him the truth. He wished so hard for it that he could have promised him anything in exchange for only one little piece of the truth.

“I can't, I...”

“Steven...” he interrupted immediately and shook his head. “Don't do this. You came here for a reason and that reason must still exist. If there is something you think I should know, please, tell me? You are my friend and I trust you. Believe me, I will never tell anyone you have spoken to me, if that is what you are afraid of? As long as you promise to do the same, and not tell anyone I was here to listen to your words... are we agreed?”

“Yes” the other one nodded and seemed to be taking a deep breath, his eyes flickering to the ground momentarily before he eventually gathered his courage and spoke up. “I heard a part of your conversation...” he admitted and the blush was once more visible on his cheeks. “I could not shut it out, because your voice was loud and I guess I have good hearing. I heard what the chief promised you, what he promised to that man they brought in the other day... But as you left, he immediately informed the rest of us that we are going to bring him in... him and his mother, for questioning about their involvement in the Eastman situation... He's ordered us... them, to find out where they live now and take them in, as soon as possible...”

“He wouldn't...?” Theodore started, his heart beating franticly against his chest, but he knew Steven was not lying about this. He could see the panic in his eyes, hear the worry in his voice. Anthony had deliberately lied again, just like all the other times when he had promised. “I... how much time..?” He eventually managed to ask, afraid of the answer but knowing that he had to act as soon as possible if he was going to be able to help William's family at all.

“I have taken over the responsibility of finding their location...” the other answered quickly, a slight smile spreading over his face. “That doesn't mean you have all the time in the world however, I can't give you that. If I took too long, someone would get to do it instead. But I might be able to assure you the night... if I do not have the address until morning, he has to go home and sleep through the night before getting to it in the morning. And you will have the dark hours to do... whatever you need to do”

“Would you really do that..?” Theodore managed to ask, his body feeling faintly weak all of a sudden. Only one night? What would he do? How would he be able to help? In what manner..? He had promised not to come knocking on their door... he would have to now anyway, wouldn't he? “I mean, if the chief finds out you have been helping me, them... you might lose your job?”

“I believe there are more important things sometimes, than keeping ones job when people are in danger...” His voice was calm and steady, his words making more sense than any words Theodore had ever heard before. “I was running an errand earlier today, downtown... I saw you talking to him in the park...” He paused and looked away, apparently slightly ashamed he had even been looking. “...I saw the kids, the smile on his face when they left, the way the little one clasped his hand when they crossed the street and the soft care shining through his eyes as they passed me by... that is something worth saving, not my job. I believe the chief might need to look slightly further beyond what he knows, start seeing what is truly important, right in front of him...” There was something sad in his voice, something Theodore could not even read from the older man's face. But there was a smile there too, when Steven looked back up to meet his eyes again. “If I know they will be safe, I will give you as much time as I possibly can to help them...”

“I promise I will do what I can to get them to safety as well” he nodded back, hands pressing gently on the other's shoulders before letting go entirely again. “Thank you Steven, you are a good friend”

“Don't thank me just yet...” the older one chuckled nervously and backed away a couple of steps. “I might screw up, like I always do...”

“You won't”

“If there is anything else, please let me know?”

Theodore nodded but had no more time to speak, because Steven was already turning, heading back for the office with his hands shoved down into his pockets. Theodore himself just stood there for a while, watching the man disappear around the corner. He was a good man, truly a good friend. It was a sad thing he had not realized this sooner in life... He was sure Steven had been feeling just as lonely as he had himself. After all, he had never even married.

...

It took him some time to get back to his apartment building, since he felt disoriented and took a wrong turn twice. When he was finally behind closed doors, he sank down on his bed and sighed, face buried in his palms as he desperately tried to come up with a solution to this major problem he was having. It was hard to at all understand how he could possibly have not seen this coming for him. Of course he should not have promised William such a naïve thing but... what should he have done instead? Just kept quiet about it, just... ignored the fact that he had wanted the information? His head hurt and his body felt like it was falling apart, still he got up only moments later and got to work, knowing that there was no turning back from this. He had to see this one through now. He owed William and the boys that.

Half past one, in the middle of the night, he was heading down the dark street, his coat firmly wrapped around his body and a scarf around his neck. He had taken his own advice this time and brought one, just in case he would almost die of cold or the smoke rising from thousands of chimneys. He had already walked for twenty minutes, he was sure, trying not to attract any attention to himself from the few people still outside around this late hour. There was a crisp sense to the air this night, colder than earlier. Maybe there would even be snow.

The Bowery was dark though everything else but quiet. He lowered his head and made sure his bowler covered his fair hair as much as possible. It was better that way. He wouldn't want anyone here remembering there had been someone like him walking the streets on the night of the disappearance of the Kaplan family. He found the front door, more with the help of luck than a sense of direction and almost ran the stairs to the second floor. Door 23 was not hard to find after that. It was gathering the courage to knock that was the big issue. Even though he knew there was not much time, it took him more than ten minutes before he eventually put his knuckles to the wood, palms sweaty and heart beating quicker and quicker by every second passing. All it took was for one neighbor to open the door and see him, and his plan would be for nothing...

The door in front of him squeaked as it was opened, slowly, and Theodore took a quick step back, in case someone would suddenly push it open hard to fend him off. To his relief, the one opening the door was William, all dressed as if it was in the middle of the day, mild surprise shining through his eyes.

“Altman..?” he said after a couple of seconds. “Why are you here..? I thought...”

“Yeah, listen...” Theodore interrupted and looked around, feeling almost as jumpy as Steven had looked down on the street some hours ago. “Can I come inside? I don't think it is a good idea if someone sees me out here...”

The dark haired man seemed surprised at the question, but still eager to find it what was going on and opened the door more because of this reason. He locked it firmly behind Theodore's back and then showed him into a small kitchen where a calm fire was lit in the old stove. The youngest brother was sleeping in a convertible kitchen bench next to the warmth of it. The sofa looked not to have been meant for sleeping in, but they had obviously removed the hard surface made for sitting on and stuffed the empty space inside with something soft. He looked fairly comfortable in there, at least for the moment. It was cold though, in the rest of the room and Theodore looked around for any other source of light than the stove and some candles on top of it, finding nothing. He noticed a door however, half open, leading into another room where he suspected the rest of the family slept...

When he looked back at William, he realized the man had been watching him closely for the past minute without a word. Now he looked away, towards the sleeping boy and smiled a bit. “I guess you don't have much experience with living under these conditions, do you?”

“I don't” Theodore admitted and scratched his neck a bit, looking at the boy as well. “I am sorry you've had to live like this... no human being should have to go through something like this...”

“Thank you, but we're handling it detective” the man smiled and pulled out an old chair from the side of the table. “Sit, and do tell me why you are here..?”

Theodore did as he was told and tried not to notice the smell coming from the wood of the wall next to him. Mold. He drew a deep breath and looked back those wondering eyes, the soft relaxation in the other's face. He thought it would all be ok now, that it was all over... how was it that Theodore always had to be the bearer of bad news?

“I talked to my godfather...” he then started and kept his eyes fixed to the others as he spoke. “He promised me that he would not come after you or send anyone here to talk to you again...”

“But?”

“He lied” The words felt harsh and wrong as he spoke, his rage and disappointment burning in his eyes and chest already. “He lied to me straight in the face... he is coming here, for your family, you and your mom...”

“When?”

William was calm, more calm than Theodore had been expecting and more calm than he felt himself. Maybe he had been anticipating this, maybe he had even been worrying Theodore had lied in the first place. It was hard to tell. He was just... so calm.

“If we're lucky, tomorrow... if we're not, he already knows where you live”

“I thought you said he already knew?”

“Apparently he doesn't” Theodore shrugged and tried to be calm as well. No point in panicking more than the man who might get arrested. “I have a friend at the office, someone I feel I can trust at least. He told me that their main priority right now is to find out your location and bring both you and your mother in to the station. He says he will try and keep them away for as long as he can, but I don't think he can do it for much longer than tomorrow morning...”

“Thank you for coming here and warning us...” William sighed, his smile faint but still there. “This way my family has at least a slight chance of getting away... we might be able to even make it to my father's hide out, but I am not sure my brothers will be able to walk that long...”

“I will help you” Theodore quickly assured, his eyes landing momentarily on the sleeping boy before traveling back to William's face. There was so much love in those eyes, so much desperate hope that all he could do was look into them for seconds without being able to move from the spot. Those brown eyes were everything else but calm, he realized now as he looked into them, tiredness and fright meeting his own gaze. “I will, and I will start now... so... pack up your things, everything you can carry...”

“Right now..?”

“Yes” Theodore nodded and smiled a little, his hand reaching for William's as he stood up from the uncomfortable chair. “I will take you to my apartment, you will be safe there for the time being... Just make sure you can pack everything you need and wake your family. It is better the faster we can get going...”

The other man seemed confused now, but more awake. He grabbed Theodore's hand firmly and pulled himself up, smiling as well even though he seemed to be slightly unsure of whether this plan would work. Theodore assured him again not to worry, that it would all be fine but they had to hurry. William nodded, taking deep breaths to calm himself down slightly before speaking again.

“I can't begin to thank you enough...” he said but Theodore shook his head with a larger smile than before. They didn't have time for thanks right now. William seemed to understand and smiled. “...and I will start later perhaps?” he then looked around, lost at where to start. “I will go and wake my mother... can you look through those cabinets, see if there is any food we can bring along?”

“I will, you go and wake her” Theodore agreed.

And so it began. It took less than five minutes for the dark haired woman to join them, her eyes sharp and alert, lips smiling and strong hands working quickly. She didn't seem upset or nervous, but he was sure that she was. They had packed the kitchen in less than half an hour, waking the two boys and giving them something to eat included. Theodore had been polite to the woman, making sure to stay out of her way as she ran back and forth between her boys to pack everything they would need, including clothes and even the few misaddresses they had. If he would have been her, he would probably have wanted to hide it from his son's as well.

The room next to the kitchen, being the bedroom as he had expected, was the smallest bedroom Theodore had ever been in. There was a window, which had been covered up with a thick blanket and boards, not to let the cold air in and the warm air out, there was the smallest bed in which he suspected the entire family slept when their home became all too cold in the winter, and a small chest of drawers where he had gotten some clothes to pack for them.

The boys where very quiet, almost as if they had done this before, knowing exactly what to do in this kind of situation. The older holding the younger's hand tightly where they stood by the door, waiting for their broken family to finish packing their home into bundles of sheets, to make them easier to carry. Since they were only three, strong enough to take these large bundles, pots and pans would have to be left behind. Mrs Kaplan seemed worried about this, walking back and forth, as if trying to find a place for them anyway.

“Mother?” William asked softly, one hand on her shoulder which made her stop and look up at him with the same brown eyes he had. “We can't bring them...”

“But people will wonder... they will understand we have not left the city?” she protested and Theodore felt his stomach turn. He had not even thought much about that. He looked around and sighed, biting down on his lip for a moment before smiling and stepping over to the woman and her son.

“Don't worry” he smiled. “As soon as we have made sure everything and everyone is safe back at my apartment, I will head on back here and clean the place out somehow... I understand your concern, we will just have to make it. Is that okay with you?” As the woman nodded, thankfulness shining through her eyes, he smiled more. “Everyone set then?” The boys nodded, their mother too, and Theodore's eyes fell on William. He nodded firmly. The determination in his eyes was clear, but he was still hesitating. “They can do this” Theodore heard himself assure the other man and stepped over to him, a soft hand soon resting on the other's frail shoulder. “And so can you, William”

“I know...” the dark haired one replied, his voice weak and his eyes wandering to land on his mother and brother's who were moving towards the door and out through it. “...I just can't help feeling responsible for them, now that my father isn't here... And I cannot stand anything happening to any of them... what if something goes wrong? I...”

“William...” Theodore interrupted before the other's worries went out of hand. “Please, it will be alright as long as you trust that I know what I am doing. You are not the only one responsible for your family tonight, I am as well. I know you might not be able to feel trust towards me, since you hardly know me... but I came here tonight because all I want to do is help you and your family. Please trust me, just for tonight, and I will make sure all of you get to safety..?”

“I do trust you...” William hurried and looked almost ashamed, his bottom lip shaking in the way you would expect a child's lip to shake before the first tears fall. “I do, detective, I don't know how I will ever be able to thank you for all you have done and will do for my family. But I do not trust myself with this kind of responsibility...”

“William, think for a second, will you?” he smiled back and squeezed the other's shoulder gently. “You have done a wonderful job with your family already. I know that you did not grow up being the one to take care of your brother, but just look what a good job you have done with the youngest?” As he spoke, he threw a quick glance at the tiny boy who was smiling up at his mother. “He is such a sweet boy, and so is his older brother. You have done an amazing job, together with your parents, and that responsibility you have had for years now. You really should not question yourself, because you can accomplish so much, as long as you do not prevent yourself from believing that you can.”

William seemed to be without words and only nodded, his eyes glossy but it was hard to see if there had even been tears, considering the lighting was not very good. Theodore let go slowly of the other's shoulder, wondering whether it was alright for him to do that now without William collapsing in his own worry.

“And by the way...” he then said, as he felt certain the mood had gone up. “...I think, considering the circumstances... maybe you should start calling me Theodore?”

The brown eyes blinked quickly but William smiled and nodded again. “Yes, maybe I should”

“Maybe we should leave?” the woman suddenly called from the door, poking her head inside again and looking at them strangely. “I would advise it at least...”

“Yes of course” Theodore smiled and picked his bundle up quickly, immediately understanding that he must be carrying the heaviest one.

He took a few deep breaths and stepped out into the narrow hallway again, now with a third of a home straddled over his shoulder, followed by the other man who was still smiling he suspected. As soon as they were out on the street, Theodore took the lead and made sure the road was empty before leaving the Bowery the same was he had gotten there, closely followed by the boys, who were carrying bags with loose possessions like a couple of toys and books. Behind them, William and their mother walked carefully, making sure to stop in case they saw someone. This only happened once and when they all finally reached the building in which Theodore loved, he relaxed somewhat and smiled at the family, almost proudly.

“Here it is” he said, in the same low voice as before. The boys looked completely fatigued but smiled as well. “If you just walk quietly up the stairs, I will be there in a moment. I need to make sure the land lady dosen't hear you” The other's nodded and he quickly handed his key to William, who took the lead now, straight up the stairs. Theodore prayed silently that no one was up at this hour and was probably heard by God or at least one angel, because not as much as a soul opened their windows or doors to see what was going on.

“Thank you...” he whispered to himself and hurried up the stairs as well, with the bundle of things not at all feeling so heavy anymore. As soon as he entered the apartment, he was hit in the stomach by two boys running and hugging him hard and he thought they would knock him to the floor. He smiled and dropped leaned against the now closed door behind his back, putting the packed things down on the floor before hugging the kids back, the stress and worry draining away for a moment.

As the boys were called for by their mother, who was already fixing their temporary beds on the floor next to the stove, Theodore straightened up and scratched his neck. The apartment would be full now, for at least two or three nights. He would have a lot to cover up for with the landlady.

William was standing by the stove, eyes growing larger by the second as he looked around the apartment in wonder. “Do you really live here by yourself..?” he asked as Theodore came up to his side. “I mean, there is no one else here?”

“Just me” Theodore answered and smiled. Really, the apartment was nothing special. It wasn't even big. Maybe it was for someone like William, who had lived together with his family of five in one and a half room though. This apartment was narrow, but had both a kitchen, a larger room to eat and socialize in, plus a bedroom. “And now you” he then added and grinned as he met William's eyes. “Mrs Kaplan?”

The woman looked up and nodded. She had already spread their things in the corner and put the boys to bed. They would not sleep in hours it seemed, but at least they did as they were told and didn't talk. “Yes dear?”

“I thought, maybe you and your husband would want to sleep in my bed?” he suggested and immediately rejoiced at the change of expression on her face. She looked as if though she was going to cry with joy. “I will sleep elsewhere, so... make yourself comfortable and when he gets here, he can join you”

“Thank you” she sighed and smiled widely. “Thank you so much... I don't even know what to say?”

Theodore only smiled and shrugged. He knew the bed would do them good after what they had been through. He then met William's eyes as he turned to head for the door again, feeling warm when he saw the man was smiling just as widely as his mother. They both knew the couple needed this. Theodore felt happy that the other man seemed not to be the jealous type.

“You're leaving?” he asked as soon as Theodore reached the front door however and he stopped in his movements, noticing the worry in the dark haired one's voice.

“Yes” he answered and smiled back over his shoulder. “I will be back in a couple of hours...”

“I'll come with you”

They both fell quiet. Theodore had not been expecting company but he could not deny, even to himself, that he would feel a lot better if someone was actually there with him. He was about to ask, however, if William was completely sure he wanted to come with, but the other's mother had heard and gently reached up to stroke her son's dark hair.

“Be careful, both of you?” she asked, her voice soft and loving in a way only a parent's voice can be. “Make sure you get rid of the things we brought from back home, people will know they were important to us back then...”

“We will mother” William assured her and gave her a soft kiss on the cheek. “Will you bring me with you, please Theodore?”

He gasped, unable to control it. Immediately he felt like turning away and cursing at himself, not even knowing why he had let the air out the way he had. But he didn't. Instead he just smiled and nodded, hoping that they had not noticed. His chest was still feeling weird, almost so light he did not even know if he was really breathing. Why..? What was it William had said that had made him feel this way?


	4. Chapter 4

They had walked in silence, cleaned in silence and carried garbage out to a street corner in silence. This they had not talked about doing, but they both had kept quiet, almost as if it had been decided in advanced. Theodore was glad, because in these early morning hours, people seemed to be easily woken and that was something they did not need right now. He hoped William was feeling the same way. They smiled at each other as they passed one another and he felt calmer immediately. Now that the apartment was almost entirely empty of things, the other's smile was much more confident. He was believing in himself again. Finally.

“You think this will do it?” he asked in a soft voice as he closed the door behind them, eying the apartment one last time. He felt happy with what they had been able to accomplish in such a short amount of time.

William nodded and crossed his arms over his chest, sighing with relief. He had cut his fingers on something earlier and tried to hide it now, but Theodore had seen it happen. They would do best to take a look at it as soon as possible to eliminate the risk of it getting infected. “I can't believe it didn't take more time though...” he grinned and met Theodore's gaze. The light from the lit candle on the mantelpiece was reflected in his brown eyes, creating a fire like movement in them. It was very beautiful...

“I guess we make a good team” he joked and tore his eyes away from him, goosebumps slithering down his arms and spine. “But we better get going, before people start waking up for real...” he then added. The other one nodded in agreement and made sure to lock the door as they had left the apartment. Theodore could hear families stirring behind their doors, life starting all over again for these poor people, living off almost nothing. He knew he must be making a face that told William about everything he was thinking, because the other one was grinning now.

“We might be poor” he then said and took the lead, walking down the narrow staircase, still grinning. “...but we don't need pity Theodore, what we need is something better than this”

That familiar warm feeling spread throughout his entire body by the mentioning of his name. At least he figured that was what caused it. He chose to try and ignore, glad it had not caused noises to leave him this time. Instead he focused on the conversation they were having. Feelings like these were not the kind of feelings you showed openly. That much he knew. Whatever kind of feelings they were, he had never felt them before in his life.

“I don't pity you...” he mumbled, feeling guilty and ashamed even though what he had said must be true. Why people constantly kept thinking that he would help someone out of pity was beyond him. Couldn't a person like him, feel compassion for a human of another social status? Was that so hard for people to really imagine or believe?

“I know you don't” William grinned though, to his surprise and held the entrance door open for them both. “I was just messing with you a bit, thought you could take that, being a policeman and all?” As he spoke, he playfully shoved Theodore in the side with his elbow. They both stumbled for a bit and William let out a soft laugh, the sound of it almost tickling Theodore's eardrums and he couldn't help but smile.

“Keep it down” he hissed however, when he heard someone opening a door or a window somewhere nearby and he could see the color drain from his companion's face. “It's ok...” he continued and grabbed William by the arm, pulling him back into the covering darkness of the doorway. He didn't let go and his body was shaking from the adrenaline rush, it felt as if he let go he would not be able to keep himself in check. The other one had backed up against the wall, ribcage heaving underneath his thin clothes and the heat of his skin was almost burning against Theodore's cold fingers. How could he be so warm when wearing almost nothing?

“Do you think someone saw us?” he heard the other whisper, close to his ear and once again, his own heart became frantically eager to pump his blood around. He shook his head and leaned out slightly, trying to see whether someone was looking out the street or walking there. He saw none and heard nothing out of the ordinary.

“No, I think we will be fine” he answered as he leaned back into the dark, his chest bumping softly against the other's as he did so, which had not at all been planned. He could feel warm breath against his cheek now, the hairs tingling on the back of his neck. Those brown eyes met his as soon as he looked back up and his heart jolted, close to painfully. It was almost like being hit hard in the face, but it still gave him the warm feelings only a bright summer morning could bring him. “I.. ehm..” he tried, seeing the change in the other's expression as he stuttered. Was he amused or worried? It was hard to tell. “If we just stand still here for a moment...” He stopped. His breath was leaving him all too quickly as he spoke. He couldn't contain the air long enough for an entire sentence so from the fear of gasping again, he gave up talking. William wrinkled his brows and tilted his head slightly but didn't ask. Instead he only nodded in understanding and closed his brown eyes seconds later, leaning his head back against the cold wall behind him. He looked very tired now.

Theodore breathed in deeply and took one more look back out on the street. It was quiet and empty, which pleased him more than he would have thought. If they could only get back to the apartment, he was sure both him and William would get some well earned sleep and maybe a meal after that. He was convinced both of them would be just fine, even though his own legs felt wobbly at the knees right now. Must be because of the lack of sleep.

“You ready to leave?” he asked as he leaned back into the darkness, happy he wasn't standing too close to the man this time. For all he knew, William might be very uncomfortable with it.

“Ready as I'll ever be” the dark one answered and grinned softly, his eyes twinkling sweetly in the faint light now hitting his face. Where it came from, Theodore was unsure, but it seemed to follow him wherever he went. A magic ray of light... always illuminating him.

They stepped out into the open again, keeping close watch on windows and doorways until they were safely out of the neighborhood. William relaxed visibly and started grinning again, shoving his hands into his pocket as they walked. They both knew they would not be out of the woods until they were back at the apartment, but at least now they wouldn't have to worry about all the neighbors who, according to mrs Kaplan, always loved to snoop around and spread gossip.

“Does it feel a bit better now?” Theodore heard himself asking, not even sure why or what the question meant himself. The other one sighed slightly and shrugged, balancing on a couple of boxes that had been left by the side of the road the day before. He was a child on the inside, Theodore could tell.

“It does” William finally answered and met Theodore's eyes with a smile on his lips. “At least now I know something good might happen instead of something bad. I never thought someone like you could come along and try to help us Theodore. Really, you're an amazing man and friend...”

Theodore felt his cheeks flush with red and he turned his face away slightly, pretending he was looking at some things they passed, even though he was not looking at them at all. “I am just trying to help, and I'm certainly not as amazing as you think...”

William smiled more. “Let me be the judge of that my friend...”

Theodore didn't answer, because he could come up with nothing to say that sounded good enough. Instead he kept walking, next to the man he had so recently thought to be a criminal. It was stranger to see William in this light now. He had done so ever since he had spoken to him the first time, but still... something else was different about him now and it was impossible for him to put his finger on what it was. He was smiling constantly, relaxed in a way Theodore had never even seen his mother relax around him. He must be a remarkable person, Theodore would just have to make him show it, sooner or later.

“What do you think your father will want to do now?” Theodore finally said as they stepped into his neighborhood, blending into the crowd that had now risen and crowded the streets. “I mean, either you have to leave town or...”

“Leave the country again?” William interposed softly, Theodore nodded. “Yes, I've thought about that too... And I think, if we can, we will try and get out of town. My father thinks differently from me, however. I know that if it was up to me, I would do everything in my power to make sure we could stay in this country and make a life for ourselves... but I am afraid he might be considering taking a boat back across the sea already, even without knowing that we have the police force after us as well as the Eastman's...”

“Why did you leave in the first place..?” The question was hesitant and Theodore didn't even know if he was allowed to ask. After all, it was when they had arrived in America, or on the way over, that William had lost his twin somehow... It would not surprise him if the subject was complicated and painful to talk about.

“We were very poor...” came the answer, closely followed by a sarcastic chuckle. “Not like we aren't poor now. There were a lot of people leaving and my uncle was packing his home and family, saying that he wanted his brother to come with him. My mother didn't want to go, she said it was bad for us kids and that it was dangerous... but my father convinced her that he would make a lot of money and so on...” William took a pause and smiled as he met Theodore's eyes for a short moment. “He made the decision and arranged everything. If he has been thinking of making us go back there, it is something he has been planning without telling us about it. That would not have been a first...”

“Would he really risk his family for something like that?”

“He sees it as saving us...” William sighed and pulled the front door open so that Theodore could step inside. “Especially now that he has already lost Thomas, he wants us all safe and maybe that clouds his judgment somewhat. I would say it is more dangerous to leave on a ship filled with disease and rats, only to return to a country with no means to feed its inhabitants... than to flee to the countryside and live on a farm. But I don't know, maybe I am a strange person?”

“You don't seem like a strange person to me” Theodore admitted and smiled sadly. “Maybe he just needs some convincing. Living on a farm sounds good if you ask me, I wouldn't say no to switching to that kind of lifestyle.”

“I'd say you're just saying that because you want me to be happy and not realize what an idiot I sound like?” William grinned and Theodore could feel his chest suddenly fluttering in that strange way again.

“Maybe, you will never know the truth” he joked and pulled the door to his apartment open, shutting it behind his back when William had past him. There was darkness in there, the sound of soft snoring reached them from the living room and Theodore breathed out, happy to be home with the children sleeping safely in their beds. “Do you think your mother is still up?” he then asked as he turned back to face his guest and smiled as he saw the other one leaning against the wall, breathing out in relief as well.

“Maybe...” he almost whispered and closed his eyes. It was hard for Theodore to make out what his new found friend was doing however, and he took a few hesitant steps closer to him. The dusk they were enveloped in was warm and comfortable, making him wish he had not given his bed up so that someone else but him could sleep in it. He didn't really regret it, but his body was yearning for sleep and rest, his head pounding furiously. 

“Are you okay, Theodore?”

“Yes, yes” he quickly answered and proceeded to lean his own back against the wall, next to where William was standing. “I just think the day has taken its toll on me... I'm feeling rather tired”

“I understand what you mean” William chuckled, still in whispers and then yawned largely. It made him look younger, like the child he never had the chance to be. “I don't even know what my body is doing to me anymore...” he then admitted and Theodore couldn't help but smile. “When I was younger, me and my brother used to stay up all night, telling each other ghost stories and pretend that we were policemen on a quest for truth... nowadays, I don't seem to have the strength to ever stay up an entire night like that”

“It's different when you're young” Theodore shrugged back. His head felt like he was about to doze off any moment even though he was still standing. Could you really sleep while standing up? “You have so much energy and nothing to lose, you discover the gloriousness of the world, all its wonders and secrets. When you grow up, you learn that all the things you discover are worse than they seem. You start to realize that staying up all night might affect the people you have a round you, start understanding that the scary stories are real, but maybe not the whole ghost thing...”

William chuckled again, sadly this time and nodded at the same time. “I had no idea you could be this deep, Mr Policeman” he then smiled and reached out to rest his hand on Theodore's shoulder, the touch warm and extremely relaxing to the blond man. “To be honest... since we moved here, the world has started to scare me more than I believed possible... I used to think that the poor still had a place in society and that even though that was what I was, I would be able to be whatever I wanted to be when I grew older... I've realized, since the first time I set foot on this soil, that that is not the case here”

“I am truly sorry for that...” Theodore whispered in response but the other just smiled and squeezed his shoulder tightly.

“You shouldn't be apologizing for something that is really not your fault at all Theodore...”

“But I am the police” Theodore interrupted and felt his tiredness being switched to sadness and desperation. He felt so guilty it hurt, even though he knew there was nothing he could really do to help all the immigrants coming thought form the inspection on Ellis island. “I have had blind faith in the police force since I was a child, because I believed that what my father worked for was something grand and amazing. But I have realized in the last couple of days that everything isn't what it seems and it pains me to know that I have been putting men behind bars without asking whether what I was doing was the right thing...”

“What do you mean?”

“Once... there was this man that my stepfather had ordered us to bring in for questioning” Theodore started off, not even knowing why he was bringing this up, since it had been one of his first cases as a detective. But it felt relevant somehow... very relevant. “I knew nothing about the man, only that he must be a criminal and that he was going to be dealt with accordingly. He lived on Allen street, right next to a small store that he owned... We were sent to his home, banging on the door early in the morning. His daughter opened, smiling widely. She was seven years old and loved policemen, because she trusted us. I was thrown off guard by her smile and pretty words, crouching in front of her... But my partner at the time, he didn't even look at her. He walked right into their home, without hesitation and jerked the man straight out of his bed, where he was still sleeping with his wife. The woman cried out for help and all I could do was grab the girl, hinder her from running away or running to aid her mother...”

“What happened..?”

Theodore sighed and shook his head slightly, twisting his fingers even though that warm hand was still resting on his shoulder. “She didn't stop screaming and I guess, maybe she tried to help her husband? As it was, suddenly the screaming stopped, followed by a thud and the bed squeaking. At that point I was already on my way out the door with the child in my arms. She was crying a lot and all I could do was hold her. My mother scolded me afterwards, saying I shouldn't have, because the girl gave me lice...”

“I'll probably give you lice too...” William inserted and it made Theodore smile, even though he felt cold and upset on the inside. “Her parents then?”

“I'm not sure to this day...” he admitted and shook his head. “When I came back with the girl, my partner was strapping her father free from a chair to which he had been tied up. The man had tears still streaming down his face. The girl wanted to go to him but I couldn't let her. We were supposed to bring only him to the police station. I carried her into the bedroom to bring her to her mother, but the woman was just lying there, not moving when I tried to speak to her, only breathing heavily with tears in her eyes...”

“He molested her..?” The tone in the other's voice was filled with disgust and fury. Theodore did not blame him but when the hand let go of his shoulder he wanted to scream from the cold taking him over.

“I... I don't know” he tried instead of screaming and bit down hard on his bottom lip. “He said he hadn't and at the time I told myself I believed him. But when I tried telling my stepfather about it he said I should not think about it any further and then promoted the man for his actions...” William didn't even respond to that and his silence made Theodore nervous. “I think I saw the girl a couple of months ago. Her father was executed, for crimes unknown to me, but I saw her... she is beautiful but very poor. I don't know if they even have a home anymore...”

“If they lived on Allen street she will probably end up in one of the disorderly houses...” the dark one eventually sighed and reached up to rub his eyes. “...it wouldn't surprise me if her mother is already working there to be able to feed her daughter”

“I never used to question things like that, do you understand that now?” Theodore asked and felt like hitting his head hard into the wall. “I used to think that what we did was the right thing to do, that what we did helped society to become something better than what it was... I have started realizing now that I have been so blind it scares me”

“It's a part of growing up though” William pointed out and straightened his back, leaving the support of the wall behind him. “You said it yourself; you learn that what you used to dream about might not at all be what it seemed to begin with” He reached for the ceiling and yawned again, that warm feeling once again spreading through Theodore's stomach as he saw it. Why wouldn't it stop?

“I guess you're right...” he sighed himself and looked towards the darkness that was the rest of the apartment. “Does that mean I just... grew up then? Today?”

“Oh yes” William grinned, relaxing again. “You were an infant, a mere child until tonight”

...

The morning progressed and mrs Kaplan woke up form where she had been sleeping in Theodore's bed. She still seemed calm and composed, which was odd somehow for a woman who had just left her whole life, on the run from both police and bandits. She made something to eat for her son's and even though Theodore had told her to take whatever she needed from his pantry, the only thing she took was some milk. The rest was food she had brought from her old home. He didn't comment on it, only smiled as he saw the boys eat and then decided that maybe he should reclaim his bed for a couple of hours, just so that he would be able to sleep.

He hadn't seen William for a while and realized when he entered the bedroom that the reason for that was that the man had fallen asleep in there, completely exhausted on top of the covers. Theodore smiled softly and pulled a blanket out of the wardrobe, covering the other's slimmed body with it so that he wouldn't be cold. He then crawled down on the other side of the bed, underneath the covers with his head instantly numbing all his senses.

He woke up a couple of hours later, hearing the boys playing outside the closed door, quietly. At least they listened to what they were told about being as quiet as possible. He smiled into the pillow and was about to turn over and sleep on his back. But was impossible because William was lying there, smiling in his sleep. Theodore sighed a little and watched the soft twitch in the other's eyelids as he dreamed, watched his fingers which had curled up around the covers he was sleeping on. He looked more peaceful now than Theodore believed he had ever been while being awake.

He must have ended up watching the other man sleeping for longer than he had intended and later fallen asleep in the same position, because when he re-opened his eyes, the space next to him was empty and the blanket neatly folded on top of the quickly cooling covers. Theodore rubbed his eyes and tried to focus his gaze upon something, but there was no light shining in through the window and he soon realized he must have been sleeping until dark. It didn't surprise him, he had been needing it.

When he came too, he quickly got up and changed his clothes, happy he had clean ones tucked into the back of the closet. He then stepped out of the room and was met by the smell of food and warm light from lit candlesticks.

“Theodore” William smiled and got up from the chair he had been occupying by the dining table. Then was quickly by his side, smiling with one hand on Theodore's shoulder. “My father just arrived. Come, I want you to meet him” At this his slimmed fingers softly made its way down the blond man's arm and rested somewhere around his elbow, where William grabbed him and pulled him with him towards the illuminated table where the other two were sitting. It made Theodore feel somewhat like a child, being pulled like that. He smiled softly and followed his friend without hesitation. He noticed in the corner of his eye how the boys were asleep in the darkness of the living room floor again, the older holding his little brother close as he dreamt. “Father...” William smiled with a sigh as they approached the tall man who had now stood up, closely joined by his wife who seemed so happy you could see it very clearly in her dark brown eyes. “...This is Theodore, who saved us. Theodore, this is my father”

“Mr Kaplan” Theodore smiled and reached his hand out to shake the older man's tightly. “It's an honor to meet you, finally”

“The honor is mine” the taller one assured and shook his hand back, his eyes seeming to fill up with tears as he spoke. “I cannot even imagine what would have happened to my family if you had not alerted them to the threat they were under. I will be forever grateful to you, mr Altman”

“Please, call me Theodore” he smiled back and threw a quick glance at mrs Kaplan who was gently stroking her husband's other hand, tears slowly rolling down her cheeks. “Here is the thing” he then said as the man gave his hand back with one final squeeze. “I am sure you both are very tired after everything you have been through. Why don't you rest up for the night, me and William will stay up and talk about what to do next, in the evening we will talk it over together. Sounds good? We have all the time we need to later introduce ourselves, wouldn't you say?”

The man smiled, as if what he had just heard was the best thing he had ever heard before in his entire life. He then nodded and looked back at his wife, their eyes sparkling in the same way Theodore faintly remembered his mother's eyes had sparkled back when his father was still alive.

“Just go” William grinned, his eyes locked to his father's for a moment before the man and his wife left them alone in the flickering light from the candles. The dark haired one was still smiling as Theodore met his eyes. Now that he had met him, Theodore was amazed by how different William was from both his parents in appearance. There was just something about him that made him completely different, in a good way. “I don't think you could have given them any better than what you just gave them”

Theodore shrugged softly and left the smile on his face, turning towards the supper mrs Kaplan had prepared to see what was on the menu. His stomach was rumbling badly and it had been ever since he got to bed that morning. The stew seemed to be without meat, probably because the only thing he had was vegetables, but it smelled delicious and soon he was helping himself to a large bowl by the table. He was joined by William, who seemed to have been waiting to eat until Theodore had woken up. Or maybe he had not been up for very long, Theodore didn't ask.

“When did your father get here?”

William looked up from his bowl and smiled at the question. He was relaxing even more now than before and even though he still looked tired, you could see the change clearly in his body language and the way he smiled. “A couple of hours ago” he replied and brought another spoonful to his mouth. “My mother came to wake me, so I came out and there he was, sitting by the table. I couldn't believe my eyes at first”

“Has he said anything about what he thinks you should do next?” he had to ask before the other one went back to giving the food his full attention and the smiled quickly vanished from William's face.

“He said he has decided for us to leave America...” came the answer and even though Theodore had been expecting that, it still hit him so hard in the gut that he couldn't possibly breath for seconds after. “..as soon as possible. He has connections that will get us on a boat. I wish there was something I could say that would change his mind, but I can see it in his eyes that he is scared now. It was one thing when all this only did was to affect him, but now when his wife and children are in danger...”

“You don't have to explain it William” he hurried to interrupt when he regained the use of his lungs and the other's eyes started sinking deeper into his bowl of food. “I understand... But have you thought of the possibility that he might value your opinion now that you are older? I guess you and your brother must have been against leaving your home in the first place..?” William nodded at this. “Well, you were younger then. He knows that you are a grown man now. He must listen to you, at least somewhat?”

“Maybe you're right...”

The other looked beaten down and somehow Theodore felt guilty about that fact. He didn't know what to say to make it better and wipe the sadness from the other's slimmed features. How do you comfort someone who is so scared of coming across as vulnerable and weak? Instead of trying, which made him feel even worse about the situation, he turned back to the delicious stew and tried to focus as much as he possibly could on that instead.

“How do you feel about this whole thing, by the way?” The dark one suddenly asked however and the question almost brought Theodore back to reality from his deep concentration on eating. “You seem very calm even thought this must be a big change for you..?” he then continued when he realized his question might have been too much out of the blue for his blond friend to understand its meaning. Theodore thought about it for a second before answering, knowing that he had a lot of responsibility on his shoulders... if he gave the wrong answer, he would only make William more upset than he already had.

“I don't know how I feel, if I am to be honest” he finally smiled and wiped his mouth softly with his napkin. “Only a week ago I had such hopes and trusted everyone around me. Now, about the only one I feel I can trust it you, whom I didn't even know a week ago. It has truly shaken my life to the core... and I am sad I will lose you, since I would trust you with my life, but knowing that you are not safe here and knowing that you probably never will be makes me even more sad.”

“But what if I stayed?” came the quick response and for some reason the question brought goosebumps to Theodore's neck and arms. “What if I stayed and moved to the countryside? You might not be safe here either after this, aren't I right? You are helping fugitives after all. Why don't you come with me?”

“William, that would be madness...” he tried but couldn't keep going because of the brightly shining hope in the other's eyes.

“No, listen to me Theodore” William said while shaking his head. “I have thought about this. My family won't need me as much if they go back to Germany, and I can't... I have to stay here. I know I could make it on my own, as long as my father would agree to it. And you could come with me as well, you wouldn't have to lose me, the trust you feel for me. We could be together, for as long as you would want...”

His stomach was aching strangely and his skin still filled with goosebumps. He felt so different somehow, so weak and yet strong at the same time. He wanted the fantasy of his friend to come true, to be made possible but he knew it would just be a matter of time before both of them would have to come back to reality and face the fact that a life like that could never work. Not to mention the raised eyebrows and behind the back whispers they would be met by if they were two men who lived together.

“And what about your brothers..?”

“If I come with them, there is nothing that can guarantee us that I will survive... is there?” the question was harsh and spoken out strongly, bringing a burning sensation to the back of Theodore's eyes. “After all, my brother didn't, did he? I want them safe, but I don't know if I can step onto that boat again and know that all we lost when coming here was for nothing”

“Is this because of him William, your brother? Because I would understand but...”

“This isn't only about Thomas” the dark one interrupted and stood up, his eyes turned away and his hands slowly knotting into fists. “It is about me this time, but no one seems to understand that. I don't want to die, but I did when I lost my brother. I knew I did not want to live anymore when if he would never be sleeping next to me again or hold my hand when I was scared, I knew I would die soon too, that I would fall ill and join him no matter where he went after passing. I didn't mind that. I did not mind knowing that I would leave my family, because I would be with him again and he would never leave me... And I am ashamed now, because all of a sudden I am more scared of dying than I have ever been before. Even though it would bring me to him. And I am questioning whether going back to Germany is really going to solve anything for my family and for me. I don't want to die and yet I miss him more than ever..!” he babbled out and his eyes were suddenly glossy when they met Theodore's gaze. He wanted William to stop, for his own sake, but he couldn't bring himself to speak again, only watch as the tears started falling from those large eyes. “I cannot stay here, I know that!” the other then continued, his voice lowered slightly as if he didn't want anyone else to wake up from his words. “But I am scared of leaving too, Theodore.. please you have to believe me. I cannot set my foot onto that boat, I can't leave here because he came here to die. For nothing. And I don't want to die anymore, I want to live... with you. I trust you, I need your friendship... I don't even know why I just can't...” The other's voice broke and trailed off, leaving the dining area quiet and cold.

Theodore stood up as well, not knowing himself what he was doing but the least he could do was try and make this whole thing better for the other man. He walked over, silently, to the other side of the table where William was standing and reached out for him in about the same way as he had reached for the other's younger brother only days ago. There was truly nothing else he could do and even though William seemed hesitant, soon the dark one's cheek was resting against Theodore's chest, his tears falling against the soft fabric of his shirt. It was just a hug, nothing more, but still the warmth of the other's body made Theodore gasp for air before burying his nose in those black locks of hair. For a moment he didn't care at all what consequences this might have for him in the future, for a moment, he hardly cared about anything else than making those tears go away.

“It will be alright...” he half whispered, his words modest and calm, palms softly sliding across the other's back in a soothing way, at least that's what he wished for it to feel like. “We will figure this entire thing out, I promise. You don't have to be scared William, you are one of the bravest people I have ever met, of that I am sure” At this the man in his arms only shook his head the slightest, but stayed close for minutes without moving his body afterwards. Theodore soon realized that he didn't mind at all, standing there with his arms around his friend, comforting him. At least he was able to do something this time. He wished now that there wouldn't be consequences of these actions, because no one but them were up to see or hear them in their soft conversation and he hoped things would stay that way. He gently leaned his lips against dark strands of soft hair and left a kiss there, buried deep in their dark color for only the two of them to ever know, before he closed his eyes and let his cheek rest there as well. If it had been up to him, he could have stayed like this forever.

A soft shudder left William's slimmed body as he drew one last trembling breath before eventually pulling away, his cheeks red from salty tears and his bottom lip broken but his eyes more alert now than before. “Thank you...” he said, his voice weak but without a tremor or hesitation. They were still standing close, Theodore's chest against the other's and eyes meeting for a while, William's thankfulness shining through them brighter than ever before. “I mean that Theodore. Thank you for everything. I know no one who would have comforted me like this, even though it was probably what I needed”

“Anytime” he smiled back, feeling the soft shift in the other's body as he breathed in deeply, noticing the way his eye twitched slightly when he rubbed it free of tears. “Now what do you say to we finishing our meal and then having a cup of tea perhaps?” To this, the other nodded and even though it seemed like a reluctant movement, soon his warmth was moving away, leaving Theodore regretting he had even said it to begin with. He smiled still towards the dark one, who had that soft twinkle in his eye again and seated himself opposite him by his bowl of food to finish it.

As the food had been eaten during soft conversation and tea had been prepared, Theodore sank down in his chair again, feeling tired even though he had been sleeping longer than he usually did during ordinary nights of sleep. He figured it must be because of the fact that it was pitch black outside and his mind was not accustomed to staying bright and alert at times like these. William drank his tea in silence and had his eyes turned towards the window, even though it must be impossible for him to see anything through it as well.

Though trying very hard, it seemed pointless for Theodore to even bother looking away from the other man. It was as if his eyes had been nailed to those dark locks and willowy cheeks, following every twitch and movement that was there to be seen, and since William was looking out the window with such a wonderfully serene expression on his face, Theodore even figured that he probably wouldn't get caught staring either.

His own fingers were softly wrapped around his cup, the burning hot tea soothing his nerves and calming his rising heart, which he appreciated. Maybe he had some health problem or medical condition that he should have looked at, because these last couple of days his body and heart had been behaving differently from what he was at all used to. He sighed almost soundlessly and rubbed his chest with the tips of his fingers, feeling his strong pulse and warm skin through the fabric of his damp shirt. William's tears had not yet dried off. If the other one had been a woman, Theodore figured he wouldn't have worried much about whether he was sick or not. He had been told, by his dear mother, that this was the kind of feelings you would be experiencing when wanting and needing a woman. But as he thought of it, he had never really felt like this before. Not with Cassandra Lang or the dark eyed girl his mother had let him meet last time he visited her. Not had this warm sensation in the pit of his stomach at the sight of a woman or felt goosebumps down his spine at the sight of a woman's smile. Maybe that made him sick in some way? Different?

Truth be told, he had even visited one of the disorderly houses down on Allen street, mainly to see what they were all about. At least that was what he had told himself. He had been expecting something completely different from what he had found, but what he had realized there was something even more unexpected. This particular one was known throughout the entire lower down town as a place where even poor men could go and relax, be taken care of. Theodore didn't remember now what he had been expecting “taken care of” really meant, but it had not been the image of naked women of all ages, fornicating with men of all shapes and sizes, in filthy rooms with barred windows, the stench of it all sticking to your clothes for weeks without fail and the images never leaving your mind.

“When do you think it would be safe for my family to leave here?” William sighed after a while of drinking in silence and Theodore looked up, only to be met once more by those deep brown eyes head on. “I need to know how to spend my remaining time here...”

“I don't have the answer to that...” he sighed back and felt his gut clenching when the other turned his gaze away. “But I would think that my godfather will stop at nothing as he tries to find you, especially since you managed to slip away right before he was at your door. He will probably wonder if someone he trusts has leaked information and later on, when he has searched through all the homes of people he suspects have anything to do with this, it will take him a couple of days to try and find out who tipped you off. Those days, when he is off the streets, are the days were we must get you out of here”

“But doesn't that mean you're in danger of having your home searched?” the dark one responded instantly and his eyes were back, wide and eager. “He knows you've met with me, knows you care..?”

“But he never told me personally about his plans” Theodore only smiled and shrugged. “I heard it from a friend at work. See, Anthony Stark must have a lot on his mind right now, but one thing I am sure of, and that is... that he would never want to suspect anyone as close to him as I am. No matter who talks to him about it, I will always be the son of his best friend and even though it might be logical for him to assume that I had anything to do with this, he will push all logic aside, for my sake. That is the kind of person he is.”

“And in this case it means he's not doing a very good job as an investigator?”

“You're right about that one” he nodded back and drank some of what was left over of his tea, even though it was growing cold rapidly. “But we should be thankful. If it hadn't been for my friend, you would probably have been back at the station by now, along with the rest of your family”

“And this friend of yours, does he know you helped us...?” The question was edged with suspicion and he took a quick glance at the other expression now, to try and understand what he was really aiming for with his harsh words. “You know, Theodore, if he knows you helped us, he could just as easily tell them it was you who did it? What if he was told to tell you, just so that they would try and frame you for a crime you weren't supposed to commit?”

“I trust him William” he assured and stood up to go and refill his cup with more tea. “He would never do something like that, he is not someone who would lie or betray his friends...”

“But he betrayed his boss by telling you about the raid?”

“That is different...”

“How is that in any way different? You trust this man blindly, yet you know you could easily be found if your godfather knew about what you have done...”  
“And I trust you blindly as well” Theodore interrupted without looking back at his friend, feeling a cold sensation growing at the pit of his stomach. Why where they even fighting about this? He understood that William was upset, but hadn't they been trusting each other in this? Wasn't his own trust towards Steven good enough for William to trust him too? “But I do not see you complaining about that? But my godfather did, because he knows more than I what you were being questioned about the other day and even though he is a man I have trusted all my life, I chose to have faith in you instead of him. So try, please, and trust me with this. Because if I am found out, it is not only your lives at stake, and as much as I would want to be the hero and sacrifice it all for you and your family, I do not want to get caught in the crossfire. So, I have been making sure to trust no one but the ones I really do believe in. You with me on this?” As he finished, he turned his head just in time to see a slight nod from the other and that was that. He didn't feel like continuing this argument and not the conversation either. Why the other's words had stirred such a vast number of emotions inside of him he was unclear about, but that wouldn't be the first time today.

“I'm sorry”

“I am too”

He didn't even know what time it was when the silence between them was finally broken by the sound of his bedroom door opening. Both of them turned their heads and were met by the soft smile of William's father, who stepped out from the dark room with his hair standing in all directions and a large smile on his face.

“How has your night been?” he half whispered as he passed his sleeping boys to join Theodore and William by the table. He gladly accepted the cup of water his son offered him before seating himself on the chair the dark one had given up. Theodore was glad the silence had been broken and shrugged softly.

“It has been dark and slightly boring, but I would say that is good. We don't need anymore excitement than we've already got”

At this, the older man chuckled and nodded, keen eyes moving from Theodore to his son, just was alert as William's were. “I agree with you on that one...” he then responded and his smile widened even more if possible. “William, could you go and hand a glass of water to your mother..? She asked me for it, but I think I need to talk about a couple of things with Theodore alone?”

“Yes father”

It only took him seconds to be out of their way and suddenly, the room felt even more cold and dark when the other was gone. Theodore closed his shirt tighter around his body and even started feeling bad about having that fight with him before. It seemed very unnecessary now that he thought about it. And the look William had given him before leaving, his eyes glossy and almost desperate, what had that been about?

The older man sighed and rubbed his temple softly, the smile gone from his face now and as Theodore noticed this, his stomach clenched hard and he swallowed, eyes darting to the closed door that hid William and his mother form his gaze. The man seemed to notice this and cleared his throat, sounding very much like Anthony when he did so, to get the blond man's attention again.

“I know you worry about him” he then started, as Theodore met his eyes once more. “It is quite apparent, the way you talk to him and keep him close to you...”

“He's my friend... sir” he answered and made himself comfortable again, adding the last in a soft way, trying to gain his trust. If he failed at doing so, this would never work, that he knew. “I trust him and I would never want anything bad happening to him again”

“You have to understand, Theodore, I am nothing but grateful for everything you have already done for my family, getting them here, giving them food and shelter... but William is different from most, he's scarcely fragile and my main concern is that he does not get rushed into any of this with false hope that something better will come out of it. That mistake was made when we came here and we lost his brother...” the man sighed and paused, his eyes following the flickering candle flame as he did so. “...I am glad the both of us feel he does not deserve to get hurt more than he already has been, but I must make myself clear when I say that if this doesn't work, if he is in any way hurt come the end of this madness, you will be held responsible”

Theodore swallowed again, his body wanting him both to argue this and escape the tense dining area at the same time. Why would it be on his head if anything didn't go according to plan? But he did not dare. This man was clearly under a lot of stress and maybe he didn't even notice the fire in his oldest son's eyes? William might be stronger than his father knew after all, but hurting him was nothing Theodore ever planned on doing.

“Believe me...” he finally managed to say after calming his raising pulse under the sharp watch of the older one. “...I mean him absolutely no harm. If there was anything I could do to ensure his safety I would happily do it, but unfortunately I don't know of such a thing. I only want what is best for your family and I plan on risking my own safety for you”

“Then you must believe you know what you're doing at least?” When Theodore nodded at this, the older man looked more or less content. “I respect a man with vision and self belief.”

Theodore allowed himself to take a deep breath and then nodded, not wanting to seem too confident with his words even though he noticed confidence was something this man appreciated. It was strange how he could have so much respect for someone he had never even met prior to the evening before. “I'm sorry for asking this so soon, but do you have a plan, anything at all, that could take you out of America without being detected?”

The other man raised a dark eyebrow and studied him in an obviously curious way before answering, his lips twitching slightly as if he was trying not to smile. “I thought, considering how good friends you and my son are by now, that he would have told you everything there is to know about our dysfunctional family and out prospects?”

“Truth is, he has told me only some parts” Theodore hurried and felt his cheeks burning, probably turning red, without him even understanding why this question made him so embarrassed. “And the parts he told me about the way you plan on getting yourself out was more vague than the parts he told me about himself. I'd like to know, because if I am going to be held responsible if any mishaps occur, I at least want to be included fully and know all the details. I think I deserve that”

The older man kept his eyes on him, but only for a short while. There were tired lines across his face, Theodore noticed now. The kind of lines you got when you pace your home a lot and wrinkle your forehead over problems you cannot possibly solve by yourself. They made him look more like a worried man than a stern one, he noticed when studying him deeper. But before he could look any further, the man turned his head away to look out the window where the sky had begun to brighten without Theodore even noticing it.

“Alright” he then replied softly with yet another sight. “I guess there would be nothing but harm in not telling you. But I suggest that we keep it between ourselves. I do not want William to know everything immediately, considering he might do something stupid if he found out...”

“I understand”


	5. Chapter 5

“So...” William smiled as they unloaded the heavy bag with coking coal from the back of the wagon, which came by at dawn, which Theodore had always found tiring until today when it was necessary for them to stay out of sight. “...what did my father talk to you about?”

Theodore grinned and lifted the coal into one of the large bags, making sure it wasn't broken and didn't answer until they were inside the house again, away from snooping ears and eyes. “He told me that if I hurt you, he would kill me”

“That sounds like my father alright...” the dark one replied and he sounded mortified, which only made Theodore laugh. Thankfully they were on their way down into the cellar already and his landlady couldn't have heard.

“You don't have to worry William” he continued after the bubbling laughter had died away and the cellar door was well shut behind their backs. “He didn't scare me away if that is what you think? It was more the other way around, to be honest...”

“How so?”

“He made me directly responsible for your wellbeing” he answered with a soft shrug but could see in the others eyes that William did not at all approve. “It is not that he doesn't trust you or that he feels you are weak, William... He doesn't trust me.”

“You don't seem to get it though” the other one replied while shaking his head as they tilted the coal into it's container. “My father always expects the best from everyone and if they cannot deliver it, he will think less of them until they have proven themselves otherwise. If he doesn't trust you, after everything you have done for his family, it is because he does not trust in my judgment to trust you in the first place. My father is a cleaver man, but he is stubborn and challenging, just like my brother was. I know his kind and I know how they work. It is because of my poor judgment and apparent weakness in his book that he is giving you a hard time... I'm sorry”

Theodore shook his head softly and wiped his blackened hands on the insides of his pocket before remembering that he brought a cloth, which he then handed to his friend to wipe off with instead. “You don't have to apologize to me” he then assured and let it be known with the gaze he sent the other that he truly meant that. “And if I am not mistaken, apologizing would be a sign of weakness too in your fathers books?” When William grinned slightly, Theodore dared continuing, knowing now that at least the other wasn't offended. “If it is true what you say, then it is your father that has issues, not you and not me. I will never judge you off what your father has told me and he will not make me doubt you. You have proven yourself time and time again to me and something someone else says, be it your father or my godfather, will not be enough to wipe out the trust I feel for you...”

“Thank you...”

“Don't thank me” he chuckled and gave the other a friendly pat on the shoulder before heading for the door with the same grin playing on his face. “...it shows a sign of weakness after all”

“Oh you little-...”

But steps in the stair outside the wooden door made William fall quiet immediately and Theodore's quickly withdrew his hand from the handle, which he had just reached. They stood in absolute silence for seconds, hardly breathing at all and the steps stopped. Theodore threw a quick glance back at his friend, the horror showing through those eyes, striking him hard in the pit of his stomach. He never wanted to see William that horrified again. He had promised himself he would...

“Mr Altman, is that you?” a woman's voice called out and his heart got immediately stuck in his throat as it beat so heard it could have made it out of his body the same way.

“Hide”

He didn't even know himself why this was his instinct, since he knew Cassandra and she might wonder why he did not respond when she must have heard him speak. But he couldn't risk her coming inside and seeing William there. Even though she might not intend to tell on him, she did talk to Anthony from time to time and could easily give away information about this incident. And when facing the facts, even though William and his entire family might be able to make it out of America, Theodore would still be left to fend for his career and credibility. Maybe even his life. His eyes met William's again, his heart racing. They had to hide.

He searched the small room, looking for a way out even though he knew there was none. His heart was beating so hard it felt as if though his chest would break and he swallowed three times just to get the rush of saliva out of his mouth.

“The lights...” he then managed to whisper and turned for the one light source in the room. “She doesn't like the dark... quickly”

William moved as told, cutting the light to leave them in almost complete darkness. He could hear the dark one breathe heavily and moved for him, grabbing him by the sleeve to get him out of the faint red light coming from the flushing coking coal. If she was to open the door, they couldn't stand too close to it either, since light form the stairway would shine straight in on them. He pulled the other one with him and tried not to gasp as he hit the wall with his back, not expecting to get there so soon but happy he had not been heading there head on.

“What are we...?” William asked, quietly at least, as he also arrived at the wall but stopped before he could bump into it. Theodore didn't answer immediately, instead he managed to get close to his companion, head turned back to see if she was opening the door, feeling his friend shifting from one leg to the other against him. He was warm, even soft. The thought was strange and very distracting and even though he tried his best to focus on not having a heart attack, it was hard not to think about it once noticed.

“If she finds you here, she might as well have ruined everything...” he mumbled, as an answer for the other's unfinished question and felt a surge of adrenaline through his body when he heard the handle being pushed down. “Stay close to the wall, please William....”

“Of course”

The door opened slowly and soft light seeped into the room, falling on the cold floor and the burner, but not on them. He could see her silhouette in the doorway and hear her call for him in the dark but still breathed out slowly, knowing that as long as she was alone, she wouldn't walk into the cellar when she knew she would have to cross the room to fetch the light.

William was tensed though, his fingers gripping at the fabric of Theodore's shirt almost as if he was a scared child, or maybe because he just felt safe like that, holding on to something he knew wouldn't budge. He turned his head back, half expecting to be met by those brown eyes gleaming through the darkness but he couldn't quite make out if William was actually looking his way or not. He could feel the other's breath against his skin again, which gave him goosebumps like never before. What was it with this man that made him feel this way? Made him shiver and smile, made him want to just sit and talk with him for hours and wish he wasn't just about to leave America forever? He felt such a strong urge to be even closer all of a sudden that when William finally turned his eyes towards him, their noses were close enough to nudge against one another.

Suddenly the door was close behind them and even though he could feel the other one relaxing, they didn't move for minutes. He might have told himself it was because you could never be sure if she was still listening outside the door or come back in again, but somewhere inside he knew that was not the whole truth. The warmth he felt from the other's chest was burning hot and the feel of those fingers digging into his shirt was even more distracting. They had never been standing this close before, at least not for this long amount of time.

“I...” William suddenly whispered and broke away, face turned to the floor and fingers letting go of Theodore's shirt. There was a cold rush of air between them as he moved his body and even though he really did not want to move, Theodore stepped back to let the other one breathe. “I'm sorry...” William then continued, for reasons unknown to him. “I have done this to you...”

“Done what to me?” he asked, unable to hide his surprise. There was something uncomfortable between them, but he couldn't possibly understand what kind of feeling it was. Instead of trying to figure it out, he walked over to the door and listened by it. She had left. “William, you haven't done anything to me. I can assure you of that, now come here and let's get back upstairs before someone finds out we're down here?”

William nodded silently and walked passed him with his eyes still turned to the floor. “I guess...” he mumbled, just high enough for Theodore's to hear but he suspected that had not been his friend's intention. It worried him a bit, this feeling that was steadily growing between them because he had no idea really what it could be. But he also worried because he knew that even though he wanted desperately to find out more about it, explore it and take it all in, there was not enough time and the little time they had once had... was quickly running out.

It only took them a couple of seconds after that to reach the door of his apartment and hurry inside, which was good, because as he was closing the door behind him, he heard Cassandra leaving her home and coming up the stairs after them.

“William” he said quickly and looked around the hall, his eyes meeting the dark ones of Mrs Kaplan and her two younger boys as well. “...we'll soon have company. I know we haven't spoken about what to do if someone would come knocking but...”

Before he even had time to finish his sentence, Mrs Kaplan had started grabbing things off of the floor. The boys had done the same and William had went for the window, opening it to let cold air into the apartment to rid of the shut in smell that only sets when too many people crowd a tiny space. The dark one gave Theodore a gaze which told him not to worry and all the blond one could do was stand there and stare in wonder. It seemed they had done this before. In only a matter of seconds, the living room area was nice and emptied of any trace that the Kaplan family had ever been there and the door closed behind Mrs Kaplan's back as she and her younger son's entered the bedroom to join her husband. William hesitated it seemed, eyes wandering the room as if searching for flaws in their cover up but when he found none, his eyes landed on Theodore instead. There was something in that gaze that made him want to just give everything up and go with them back to Germany, not caring whether or not the country would let him in or not. A part of him wished that he could just stay with this man for a bit longer, only so that he wouldn't lose all the things he had suddenly gained in the last couple of days. Their time had been short and messy, but worth it. He just wished there would have been more of it, a lot more.

“It'll be fine” the other finally whispered, at the same time as a soft knock was laid on the wood of the door. “I'll be in here the entire time, so wipe that look off your face, you look pathetic...” he then added with a grin and snuck into the room after his mother, leaving Theodore blushing with annoyance before realizing Cassandra was still at the door.

He tried not to seem very awake, ruffling his hair and unbuttoning a button on his sweater. He hoped she wouldn't notice the dark marks on his hands and sleeves, that had now been rolled up to cover them, from the coke he'd carried. As long as she didn't think about it, he would be fine and she would believe he had just gotten out of bed, which would not make her want to invite herself into his home. He took a deep breath and opened the door slowly, pretending the light from the lantern held outside was blinding him.

“Yes?”

“You've got a visitor” she smiled, not at all taken aback by the fact that he tried to play as tired and newly risen as possible. “He said it was urgent”

“Who is it?” his act was gone and his heart was in his throat. Had they found out? But if so, Anthony wouldn't have come himself, he would have sent all his best men to apprehend the Kaplan family, no matter if their protector was his godson or not. It wouldn't matter to him whether his best friend's son would end up in prison for protecting an innocent man and his family. Anthony Stark was not like that.

“I will go get him” she almost giggled and ran back down the stairs. Theodore threw a glance back into the apartment and bit down on his lip, eyes narrowing to try to see if you could spot anything out of the ordinary inside the darkness, but he could see nothing what so ever. Steps were heard in the stair again and he thought his heart might stop beating for all the strain he put it through, but it only kept on, beating harder than ever.

“Altman, sir”

The voice was soft and bright and Theodore recognized it with a smile on his face while his nerves calmed themselves. “Rogers, thank God it's you” he hurried and shook the man's hand as he joined him outside the apartment. Cassandra, who had followed the guest upstairs, looked surprised but happy, until she noticed Theodore's glance and excused herself before leaving them. “What are you doing here..?”

“Can we talk in private?”

Theodore didn't hesitate to let the man into his home, even though knowing he might not be trust worthy. He had figured that since Rogers was the one that had tipped him off about the raid against the Bowery and the Kaplan family, he must know by now that Theodore had helped them somehow. And that would mean, if he'd been less trust worthy, there would already be a policeman standing outside his door.

“Is something the matter?” he asked as he closed and locked the door behind their backs. The other man was looking around in the hallway, his eyes narrowing as if he was trying to see something which wasn't there.

“I...” he then started hesitantly and swallowed before continuing, eyes flickering back at him as he collected his courage to speak. “I have news, if you want it?”

“News?”

“Yes”

There was silence between them as Theodore waited for the other one t continue but as that never happened, he invited the man further into his apartment and offered him a cup of tea, which he refused. As he was sitting down, however, it seemed to be easier for him to talk.

“Mr Stark has ordered everyone to stay out of the Bowery until further notice” he started and twisted his thin hands in his lap. “It is dangerous he says, but I know for a fact he will not rest until he finds the boy and his family. I suspect you know where they are?” When Theodore did not answer, Rogers sighed. “You don't have to tell me, Altman, but you have to understand that this is bigger than you... I just wish to know if they are alright and out of his way?”

“They will be shortly, for now, they're in a safe place” he answered shortly and felt stupid for not being able to tell him more after what he was risking in coming here.

“Good, and please keep it that way” As Theodore nodded, the other relaxed further. “Mr Stark is convinced he knows where the Eastmans are at, but he won't tell anyone. He says it is best only he knows until further notice. If you ask me it is because he is afraid some of his beloved policemen will run over there to pick a fight...”

“Or maybe he wants to run over there himself and pick it?” At the remark those blue eyes widened and Rogers looked so shocked at this accusation that he seemed to have lost his words. “Don't tell me you haven't thought about it?”

Rogers shook his head and let his eyes drop quickly. “I haven't. But now that you say it, I guess that could be the reason. Only time will tell...” Silence fell again and Theodore felt slightly uncomfortable. Steven Rogers was probably that kind of man who looked up to people like Stark, just like Theodore was. Getting that faith and admiration torn away from you by doubt like just now might not be the good way to approach all this?

“I don't know” he finally said and scratched his neck with a smile. “I might be wrong. All I'm saying is that I don't know what's up or down anymore. I have made friends this week that I never thought of making before...”

“Like me?” the other one laughed nervously and the words made Theodore grin.

“You've been my friend for longer than a week though, haven't you?” he answered and reached out to gently tap the other one's shoulder. “Steven, you're a good friend and one day, I am sure you will become something great”

“One day...”

“Just think” he continued and met the other's melancholy smile. “You have the chance to change the world, just like all of us. The question is whether you will take that chance, or always stay at home when the battle cry roars...”

“You're saying there will be another riot?”

The question was sudden and he could feel his own eyes widening. He hadn't even paid that possibility a thought. “No” he answered firmly and even gave it a nod, seeming to calm the other one down from some inner turmoil. “No, there will be nothing... as long as Anthony, Mr Stark, withholds information from the police, he will control both them and the Eastmans... even without the gang knowing it. If he sees a spike in their activity, he can go after them or send someone. My only concern is to get the Kaplan family out of here before it's too late. Let us deal with criminals later?”

“Will they leave America then?”

“Yes” he nodded but could not withhold his sigh. “There is no other way for them to stay together as a family. I sure hope the little ones will manage the long trip...”

“I could get you provisions?” The half question struck a rush of feelings throughout Theodore's entire body and he could just look up in wonder. Why would a man, that was hardly involved, risk so much for someone he didn't know? Why would someone as insignificant as Steve Rogers, decide that he would help fugitives escape the country..? It didn't even occur to him that the same thought had struck William Kaplan, days ago about Theodore himself. “You cannot leave and buy food for them, it would seem very suspicious, but they would need food and lots of it to stay alive and healthy on the trip, wouldn't they? I could get it for you”

“Why would you do something like that...?”

“You said it yourself” the blond one smiled and straightened up in his chair, almost seeming to grow a few inches as he spoke, his eyes shining now. “I have all the same chances to change the world as you, Altman, and the only thing I haven't done before is taking them. I am doing what I can now, not to be a hero but to help someone that is in desperate need of it. If that means I will lose my job, someone should have to reevaluate their priorities, but it will not be me. My conscience will be clear.”

“And you would risk everything..?” Theodore couldn't stop himself from asking.

“I don't like what Mr Stark has become, truth be told” the other answered plainly and it almost made Theodore shiver. “He used to listen and think more than he does now. I remember when he used to speak about your father whenever he spoke to the others, tell stories about the two of them and what a wonderful man and policeman he had been. He always used to think about the consequences of apprehending someone before doing so, like in the case with the Kaplan family... a couple of years ago he would never have done such a thing as let his men interrogate and abuse a man from the slums like that...”

“You're saying he's changed since I started working for him?”

“Yes, but that might not at all be the reason...” Steven hurried and smiled vaguely. “...he is just different now. Something about the way he is has changed. Maybe he has started to fear for his own life and reputation after your father's memory has slowly died away? We all fear to die and be forgotten by the rest of the world, don't we?”

“Maybe...”

“All I know is...” the blond one continued and his smile died slowly. “...that I don't like bullies of any kind, no matter where they come from or who they used to be... if Mr Stark wants to bully the people of this city into a war, then it is his choice and his alone, no one is forcing us to be a part of it. But not doing anything at all is almost worse than helping him. I don't intend to be an accomplice in something I do not even believe in myself” With this, he stood up and reached his hand out for Theodore to shake it. “I am glad that I can trust you with this, Altman. You are a good friend and the Kaplans should be thanking the lord for having you on their side”

“And you as well, it seems?” Theodore smiled back and stood as well, clasping the other's hand firmly as he spoke. “If you still want to help us with provisions, we would be happy to accept”

“Just give me a date and time and I will be here with enough to last them the whole trip”

“Thank you, Steven. This really is a relief” he nodded and shook the other's hand once more, just to try and make him understand how much he really meant those words. “I am sure, if the Kaplan family was here, they would thank you even more”

“Give them my best wishes, will you? They deserve much better than this, I am sure”

“They really do”

He followed his friend to the door again, wondering slightly if he had noticed the soft sounds of conversation coming from the bedroom or if it was only him, who knew they were there, that had heard it? It didn't much matter though, since he believed Steven wouldn't give them all away as soon as he got into the office after this. He wanted to believe there would still be someone he could trust after he had lost William and his family. He was going to need it. Desperately.

“I will see you soon then” he said as he opened the door and flashed a soft smile back at his companion. Steven nodded and smiled as well, his eyes softly traveling over Theodore's shoulder and back into the dark apartment. Seeming to search for something, as if he had heard or seen something moved inside.

“Are they worth it, what we do for them?” he then asked, softly, as if not wanting anyone to over hear them. “I don't mean to offend anyone but I do not know them. Do you think it is worth risking everything for them?”

“I do” Theodore answered without hesitation and could almost feel William moving behind him even before he heard his footsteps and felt his slimmed fingers close around his shoulder.

“And we're so very grateful for that, Theodore, Mr Rogers” he said, his voice bright and his smile sincere. There was still black spots of coking coal on his cheeks from where he had wiped his skin with the back of his hand, but he looked cleaner than ever with the newly washed clothes he had borrowed from Theodore's wardrobe. Steven's eyes had widened, blue orbs tracing the outlining of the dark one's still bruised face and jaw.

“You... you don't need to...” he then started, almost stuttering before he gently bowed his head in a greeting gesture and chuckled nervously. “It is nice to finally see your face without blood on it, I must say”

“Did you listen to everything we said?” Theodore grinned, pretending as if this wasn't at all awkward or strange, all of them talking like this in the doorway to his home. “You know, I wouldn't take you to be the snooping kind?”

“What can I say” the dark one replied and leaned his weight slightly against Theodore's strong frame, but only enough for him to feel it, not enough for Steven to be able to notice. “I am what this city calls a rat, aren't I?”

“He would make a fine policeman, this one” the blond one chuckled and met Theodore's eyes, as if wondering if that was something he was allowed to say, at which Theodore couldn't stop himself from laughing.

“He probably would”

As Steven was heading downstairs, Theodore closed the door firmly and made sure it was locked before turning back to his friend, eying him closely before breaking the silence between them. “I thought you said we should lie low, not talk to people who come visit me?”

“Not that he didn't already know we were here?” the other replied and sighed, his smile slowly dying as he realized he might have handled this the wrong way. “I thought you said you trusted him..?”

“I do” he nodded back and sighed while rubbing his temple. “But you can never be too certain about who you tell and what you tell them. It is one thing that he knows I am helping you, but as long as he wasn't sure where you were, you would have a chance if he decided to betray my trust. I would have been in trouble, but you would have made it out safely...”

“I wouldn't have left you if I knew you were in trouble...”

“Well you might have to William. Because I honestly do not know how I will get out of this mess if my godfather was to find out I had something to do with your escape...” He breathed in deeply as he had spoken and immediately regretted even saying it when he saw the devastated look on the other's face. “Look. I don't regret helping you William. Please don't take it the wrong way... I just don't see how you could want to stay here, with me, knowing that I might be sentenced to prison for the rest of my life for helping fugitives of the law, or even worse. I do trust Rogers, with my life if I have to, but if he was put under a lot of pressure, I am not sure how long he would be able to hold out until breaking. He is not the strongest in the bunch, as you might have understood...”

“But that means you don't trust him. Not really...”

“Why would you even say that?”

“Listen to yourself Theodore. You say you trust him, yet you would not do so if he was put under pressure. I constantly say we need to be careful but still invite him into your home where my family is hiding and then lecture me about not being careful enough...” William answered, trying hard not to raise his voice it seemed. “...you talk about trust, but still don't dare doing it yourself. You speak of what will happen when we leave here, and still will not listen when I tell you I'm not going. Honestly Theodore, how do you expect me to take you seriously when you say I am about the only person you feel you can trust for real, when it is obviously not so?”

“I do trust you...” he quickly tried but it sounded less believable than he had intended. “..and him. You have to believe me when I tell you that.”

“I have to? How? It's not like you've proven it to me? You lecture me Theodore, as if I was a child. But see, I am not. I have been lectured all my life about not being mature enough, about not realizing my responsibility or about crying over my dead brother at night, because boys don't cry. I am tired of constantly thinking about how people are going to lecture me next. So don't you do it too...” he stopped abruptly and turned away, his face quickly shadowed so that it was impossible for Theodore to see his eyes. “I trust you Theodore, I really do. And I think it is about time you show me you trust me too...”

“How can I do that..? I really didn't mean to upset you...”

“I know I just...” There was silence and a sigh left the other, which made Theodore want to reach out for him, hold him close and comfort him in any way he possibly could. But he refrained from doing so, without even understanding why. “...I want to be here for you, no matter if your world crashes or not. I am done with running away, done with losing those important to me. If you do trust me, let me stay? Let me be here... At least for a while longer?”

“Alright... stay with me”

As William turned again, there were tears in his eyes, and even though he was smiling, the sight tore its way straight into Theodore's heart and broke his facade into pieces. There was nothing he wouldn't do for him now, nothing he wouldn't say or fight against. He didn't care anymore about what was happening around them. If only for a second, the only thing he saw, was him.

“Thank you...”

There was sound suddenly coming from the kitchen and Theodore's heart jumped frantically, in that way it always does when you think someone will find out you're doing something you're not allowed to do. Like cleaning out the cookie jar when your mother is out shopping and suddenly she's standing there, looking at you with your mouth surrounded by deceitful little cookie crumbs. William smiled a little and wiped his cheeks quickly, making himself smear the dark spots even more but Theodore didn't tell him. He looked adorable like that way anyway, he really did.

“Maybe we should get back there and help her with some food?” the dark one then smiled and Theodore agreed. There was no telling what would happen if they stayed in the hallway any longer. He had been thinking too much and was beginning to fear what he might actually be capable of doing around this man. Only the soft brush of William's hand against his own made his body react in ways he didn't recognize and didn't much enjoy. He couldn't possibly ignore it now, when they were side by side, left the narrow hallway and stepped into the kitchen, soft skin against his fingertips. Was he doing it on purpose though? He couldn't be... could he?

When they had helped Mrs Kaplan clean the kitchen and make some food from what little there was left in Theodore's cabin's and such, they ate in silence, pretending nothing had just happened even though they both could have been responsible for the exposure of their plan and the hideout of the entire Kaplan family. William's father said nothing either but Theodore could see it in his eyes, that he was eager to know what had just happened but still angry that it had not been according to plan. As soon as Mrs Kaplan followed her younger boys into the bedroom, shutting the door behind her, the older man leaned across the table and made deep eye contact with his son.

“William” he started, his voice stern but calm, the way you talk when you're really mad at someone but still love them enough not to blow up in their face. “I told you not to leave that room, what if we had been discovered?”

“I told you, we already were discovered” his son replied calmly and threw Theodore a quick glance, as if requesting back up in his argument for it not to be invalid. “The man knew that Theodore had helped us, father, he wanted to know we were safe...”

“And how can you trust that he is not lying?” came the quick response, angrier now. “You might know how to read people well, I taught you after all. But there was a door between you, the only thing you could tell was the pitch of his voice? How could you possibly trust the word of someone you can't even see, who says that even though he works for your enemy he wants to help you?”

“I trust him because Theodore does” William answered plainly and Theodore felt his entire chest burn with proud warmth by those words. Maybe the other's father might not accept it as reason enough, but it felt good to know William even dared going against his father only by trusting him as much as he did. “For me, that is reason enough”

The older one's eyes now traveled to him and Theodore met them head on, knowing there was absolutely no need to shy away now. “I trust him” he said, even before the other had opened his mouth to ask if he did. “He was the one who told me about the raid against your home. If he had wanted me to go down with you, the police would have been here hours ago, since after tipping me off, me must have known I told you about it so that you could flee. He is a good man and he wants to help. Make no mistake about this...”

“Did he see my son?”

The question seemed forced, almost as if though he had not been wanting to doubt Theodore's words but was still just as worried about his son and family than he had been just before and therefore could not risk it. William was wrinkling his forehead, probably knowing that there would be some kind of punishment for his actions even if he had not necessarily done something wrong. Theodore sighed and took his eyes off of him, smiling back at the older one gently. “No, he didn't” he then lied and hoped his friend wouldn't react too much to it, blowing their cover. “I don't know what William had planned on doing if he did, but as it was, my friend had the time to leave before your son snuck up on me... But I can assure you, there would have been no trouble for you if my friend had in fact seen him. He cares for people, you see.”

Mr Kaplan breathed out but shook his head, his eyes not traveling back to William, who was still bowing his head down without seeming to react much to the lie at all. “I understand, but in the eye of this society...” the man spoke and kept his eyes straight on Theodore's, which was unnerving beyond reason. “...we are not seen as people”

“Maybe not by the rest of society” Theodore agreed, even though it pained him to do so. “But to him you are more than just rats and pest. He knows what it is like to be left out, to be seen as something smaller than what he is at heart, he knows the feeling of broken hopes and wasted dreams... If you should trust anyone else than me in this entire city, it is him, sir. I know that you are worried about the welfare of your family, but so am I. I would not jeopardize all you have done to survive, and I believe that neither would my friend”

“With all due respect, Theodore” the older one said, sounding important even though the annoyance was visible throughout his entire face. “Your friend is a policeman, and I know all about them... or at least to know that they're all alike”

At this, Theodore had had enough and stood up from his chair, not even caring if it was childish of him to walk away from this. Mr Kaplan knew perfectly well that he was a policeman as well. Why he would say such a thing in front of him bothered him more because of the fact that he knew, not because this was a lie or anything like it. The older one knew and yet he kept on insulting everything Theodore had ever believed in, as if he was trying to provoke him into doing something drastic to prove to him and his family that even Theodore was like all the others; brutal and evil.

“Don't forget who you're talking to, Sir” he then said calmly, not looking back at the man and ignoring the bewildered look William was sending him. “Policemen might be what you say they are, all of them even, but we still have feelings and I, for one, like to be shown the same respect I show others, no matter what their rang are or their social standing point.” He shoved his chair softly in against the table and left them, already buttoning his coat when William caught up to him in the hallway.

“He didn't mean it like that...” the dark one tried. It bothered him that that was the first thing he said, not asking why he got upset about it or even seeming to care that his father had just insulted his friend. But Theodore chose not to even comment on it and kept on buttoning, even though his fingers were almost shaking. “Please don't make anything rash... I know you're upset and he had no right to say that to you, but you can't...”

“I won't run to the station and tell them you're here, if that's what you're implying?”

William looked ashamed as Theodore met his eyes and only seconds later the dark one looked away. “I didn't mean that...” he replied, his voice weak again. Why was it that he couldn't stand up for himself when someone was angry with him? He had done nothing wrong, not really. But still he seemed to be the one taking the blame for what his father had done. “...I don't want you to give up on us...”

“Why would I do that?” As he asked, he was incapable of keeping the surprise out of his voice. “This... this wouldn't affect the way I feel about helping you or your family..?”

“But it could have...” William sighed and leaned back against the wall, eyes trailing the buttons on Theodore's coat, as if trying to see what the odds were of him taking it off again. “...He doesn't think and he says things that are hurtful. He's been very much like that towards me as well and every time he does it I feel like running away and never coming back, no matter how much my brothers need me...” He paused and Theodore turned his eyes away, unable to look back into those brown eyes when knowing what was coming. “...but I didn't run, Theodore, I stayed because I was needed. So I don't want you to leave, not when you're feeling like this... because no matter how much I trust you, you never know what you might be tempted into doing when your mind is in this state. You're angry and hurt, you couldn't make me believe differently no matter how hard you'd try, but it will be alright... as long as you don't step out through that door and let your feet and feelings guide you. Please... Stay here, you don't need to speak to him, we can sit by the window in the bedroom and just be, the two of us... for as long as you need”

He didn't know what to answer to that. Everything he could come to think of as a counter argument seemed invalid next to the other's words and eventually he had to admit that his reaction had been a bit more childish than he had wanted it to seem like. He really was not used to having someone like Mr Kaplan around... even though he suspected he must have the same kind of authority in his voice as his own father had had, while still being alive.

He sighed deeply and rubbed his eyes with his rough thumbs, breathing in deeply while trying to calm himself down further. He sometimes had difficulty pushing insults or remarks away, even though they were not even meant for him to begin with. He suspected he had inherited his temper from his father, but when asking his mother about it, she had always only smiled and pulled her fingers through his hair in a dreamy way. She missed the man so much she even longed for his temper?

William was smiling, Theodore could tell by the way his breathing changed from the deep sighs to soft intakes of air. “Don't look as if the world has already ended...” then came the soft remark and he couldn't help but relax and smile a bit himself when slimmed fingers unbuttoned his coat for him. “...I told you, you don't have to speak to him and it's perfectly fine for you to be upset, but at least try and think of something else? Let's go watch people down on the street, pretend we know them or something...”

“I'm sorry for being such a temperamental child...” he could only sigh and nodded a soft thank you when his friend hung his coat back up by the door.

“My brother was just like that too” William smiled back and even though there was that soft glimmer of sadness in his eyes momentarily, he still looked happier than Theodore had ever seen him when talking about his late brother. “So don't worry. I know how to handle men like you...” At this, he softly grabbed Theodore by the arm and pulled him back into the apartment. The boys were back in the living room, playing with some old toys they seemed to have brought along with them from their old home. Mr and Mrs Kaplan were sitting by the table, deep in conversation and not seeming to notice at all when the two younger men passed them by. The dark haired one closed the door softly behind them both and then smiled back at Theodore, who was already seating himself by the window as they had said.

“See?” William said as he joined him, eyes bright and clear, deep as dark wells. “You didn't have to say a word, or even look at him. Now it's only the part where it's only the two of us left, right? That part I think you will be able to handle, yes?”

“Not without you...” Theodore mumbled slightly and was happy the other one seemed not to have heard. They sat there for almost an hour, just looking out at the people on the street, who seemed too busy with early morning activities to notice the two of them behind the glass. Theodore felt strangely at ease, even though he knew someone might see them. It was not like anyone down there knew anything about what they had been through or cared about anyone else's life but their own anyway. As the hour had passed however, he started yawning uncontrollably and soon his friend hand almost forced him into bed, with clothes and all still on.

“I will tell my father what you told me, about your friend and what he has offered to do...” William smiled and pulled the blanket up over Theodore's slightly chilled body. It was only now that he realized just how tired he had been ever since they had carried the coking coal down to the burner. “...you rest, and we will talk when you've rested long enough to be able to be yourself again. Deal?” Theodore could only mumble back before he drifted off, a soft smile lingering on his lips. “You sleep now...”

...

Theodore remembered waking up a couple of times during the day, once to hear the angry voices of his tenants as they were discussing something in German which he was too tired to listen to even though it could have meant the exposure of their whereabouts. Another time he woke because Mrs Kaplan was packing up their belongings but she quickly hushed him back to sleep and stroked his hair, much like his own mother had done when he was younger. The last time he woke was when William crawled to bed next to him, his body trembling from tiredness and cold as he nuzzled close to Theodore's warm back, resting his forehead against his shirt as if to try and draw some of his warmth to him.

He lay there for a while and wondered if he should turn and talk to him, let him know that he was awake and that if he wanted to, he could have some more of the blanket. But when he finally turned, William was already sleeping soundly, fingertips gripping after the shirt he had been holding on to. Theodore smiled and took those cold fingers in his warm hands instead, shoving them close to his chest before closing his eyes again. The least he could do was warm them for the other. You never sleep well if your feet or fingers are cold after all. Right before drifting off again, he felt cold toes sneaking up against his leg as William curled into a tight bundle next to his body. The chill rushed all the way from his calf to the back of his neck but he didn't mind. He was warm enough to sleep anyway.


	6. Chapter 6

Only a couple of hours later, he woke up again, finding his body enveloped in wrinkly fabric and the arms of his friend, who seemed to be sleeping deeper than ever before. He smiled momentarily and tried to get away, but the fabric had somehow twirled itself underneath his body and was weighed down by both his and William's weight. He sighed and considered waking the dark one, but chose not to. He could wait.

There were disturbing noises coming from the rest of the apartment however and suddenly the door was opened. For some reason Theodore immediately closed his eyes, pretending to be asleep. There was something about the way Mr Kaplan's voice had been raised just a minute ago that had struck a spark somewhere in his body. Something was terribly wrong.

“William, darling...” the older woman whispered as she entered the room, silently but in a hurry it seemed. Theodore kept his eyes close and felt the other one shift next to him but without waking up. “You have to wake up now, William, it's time to go...”

The dark one next to him was grunting but the fact that his grip around Theodore's hands suddenly hardened suggested that he was fully awake, hearing every word. Even though he wanted to make it seem like he wasn't. Theodore couldn't help himself when gripping those now trembling hands hard back. He wouldn't let go... how could they think they could just disappear into the night without as much as a thank you? Had they cleaned his supplies of food out as well? Were they planning on surviving the trip with nothing but a little fresh water, some old potatoes and dried up bread? Weren't they thinking at all?!

“William” she tried again, her hand nudging at Theodore's arm as she reached to split their hands apart. “Darling please... you have to come with me. Come on. We're in a hurry...”

“Why..?” the warm figure next to him grunted out, sounding almost like he just woke up, but Theodore could hear the panic in his voice, feel his raised pulse against his skin. He'd promised he'd let him stay. They couldn't take him with them if he didn't want to go but... At this rate...

“Because your father says so...” she sobbed out, almost breaking the whispering before seeming to remember that she couldn't wake Theodore up. “Come on now... let go...”

“I'm not going mother...” He didn't sound drowsy anymore, bright awake he was and sitting up, not letting go of Theodore's hand. He gripped it back, hard enough for his knuckles to turn white. “...you can't do this... He's done nothing but helped us but you're running without even thanking him? And you're not even giving me the chance to say goodbye...?”

“He's right there” the woman almost burst out in desperation and let go of their joined hands. “You can say your goodbyes now..!”

“But he's not even awake! How can you possibly believe it would be good enough for me to leave him without getting to talk to him again?!” he wasn't whispering and there were tears rolling down his cheeks. Theodore knew he should have opened his eyes, he should have stopped them, he should pull the other one close and let him cry it all out, but he stayed motionless with only his strong hand locked to the others.

“It will HAVE to be enough for you!” she exclaimed and stomped her foot on the floor, almost like a little girl, angry she didn't get what she wished for come Christmas morning. “You have to let him go and come with me, and you know it William. What you're doing isn't right, not to him and not to us. And it certainly isn't fair!”

“What do you mean it isn't right?!” There it was again, the panic... the sheer and utter panic which sent ripples of cold across his entire body. Why was he this scared..?

“You know perfectly well what I mean! You promised you wouldn't do this to us again William. You promised!” she answered, her voice high pitched enough to break glass. “I see the way you are with him, the way you talk with him and laugh with him...”

“He's my friend mother! I'm not allowed to have friends now too?!”

“Having friends is a luxury we cannot afford now, and you know that!” She was pacing, already forgetting he was even in the room anymore. “You will get new ones...”

“But I want this one!” William was almost letting go in his eagerness to debate, but Theodore wouldn't let him. He gripped those fingers tighter, bringing him back down to earth. If he let go, it would be easy for her to grab him by the arm and pull him by force out the door... she was a strong woman and he wasn't at all carrying the body mass he should at his age. “I only want him. He's the only one I'll ever want!”

“Listen to yourself William!” she burst and there was a slapping sound when her palm came down on his cheek. “Listen to what on earth you're saying! He is NOT your brother! So stop acting like you can keep him with you where ever you go! You have to accept the fact that you will lose him now. We ALL lose things in this. He is your loss. Deal with it whatever way you see fit, but don't you make it sound like he is your everything. You only met the man a week ago!”

William was silent and his fingers had gone slack in Theodore's hand. He was shaking, from tears or rage he could not figure out but it was enough for him to want to scream at the woman, not caring if anyone heard him insulting her or even came to arrest them all. She had crossed the line, bringing William's brother up like that. Even though Theodore didn't much understand what this entire conversation was really about, he was so angry with her that he could hardly hold himself calm. Somehow he knew he needed to pretend he had not heard a thing... but for a mother to blame her son like this... it was enough to make him burn from the inside and out with rage.

“Now get up and get dressed” she continued. “And don't think for a second that we don't all grieve your brother and understand what you see in this one... but to get him as a substitute for Thomas is a disgrace to his memory... and you should be ashamed of yourself”

There was silence, and even though the woman could have just left it at that, she seemed all too keen on making sure William got out of bed and therefore stayed in the room. Even though Theodore desperately tried to keep his grip around the dark one's fingers, they soon slithered out of his hand as if they had been made of water and at the same time, the warm weight that had been William was gone from the bed.

It seemed not to take him very long to pack up his things and change his clothes, although, to Theodore who didn't dare move it also seemed like a lifetime's wait. When the grown woman and her son finally left the room he sat up immediately, hair standing in all directions and his chest heaving with heavy breaths. For a second, he wished there was some way he could contact his friend and tell him to hurry with the provisions. But knowing this was impossible he stopped wishing and got out of bed instead.

He could hear muffled voices coming from outside and his heart was in his throat, beating away at his adam's apple with extraordinary force. He was unsure how to act on all this, if to barge into the room and scream at them that they couldn't do this to him or if to just simply let them go. He knew he couldn't do the latter. He had promised William he would get to stay with him and he intended to keep that promise. No matter how crazy it had sounded, back when the dark one had begged him for it, now Theodore could not see his future without his friend always right there with a smile for him... No. He had to stop somehow. But should he wait and see if they changed their minds? Or bust them when they were in the middle of clearing out? What if they started sprinting and he never saw them again..? He couldn't possibly catch them all if they tried to make a run for it and even though he might be able to catch William's brother, who said they would really come back for him?

He walked back and forth over the hard floor, stopping now and then to listen by the door, still hearing those muffled voices and soft steps as the Kaplan family picked up whatever they could carry. He watched the time and stared through the darkness outside. It wasn't long now, until Steven would arrive with food for them all... if they were still in the apartment, perhaps he could at least get them to bring some of it with them. If they left before that.. he would have to try and stop them.

The front door opened.

Without being able to even comprehend what he was doing, Theodore had pushed the door handle down and rushed out the room. The first person to notice him was William, who was standing by the window, carrying his drowsy little brother. The others turned, mrs Kaplan by the kitchen with the middle child clutched by the hand, her husband by the door.

“Don't go, please” he exhaled, his words weak but his eyes fierce as he stepped in between William and his parents. “I know something is going on and that you are in a hurry...” he continued when he realized pleading would of course not be enough to get Mr Kaplan to change his mind. “...but my friend will be here any moment with food for you. Mrs Kaplan...” he then said and turned directly towards her, where she stood with her face lowered to the floor. “Please... your children need this to stay alive. I know you've already lost one boy, don't think for a second the little ones will make it this time around if you haven't got anything to feed them with...” She looked up, panic bursting through her dark eyes at his words but the older man's face was cold and motionless as a stone.

“Me and my family are very thankful for the fact that we have been able to find a temporary sanctuary in your home...” he started, gratefulness not anywhere to be found in his voice. “...but in case we don't move instantly, I am afraid none of us will live to see the sun rise again, so if you excuse us...”

“No”

Theodore turned as he heard William's voice and for some reason he could not even believe it was even him who had spoken. He had seemed so dead somehow, his eyes blank and his grip around the little one harder than what could have been comfortable for any of them. Now, his tears were falling from anger and his fingers curled tighter up into the black-brown curls of his brother.

“Father...” he continued and took a step forward, then another, until he stood right next to Theodore, elbows touching and the warmth from his body overwhelming again. “...I cannot do this again. You cannot keep blaming us for your own mistakes and you cannot drag us around the world like sacks of potatoes. Think about my brothers, your sons, father! They won't last a day without food, and what do you intend on giving them when they cry and ask for it?”  
“They won't” the older one answered sharply, almost like threatening his oldest not to continue. But William seemed to not be easily scared into silence this time.

“They will” he immediately responded and Theodore suddenly found himself with the youngest member of the Kaplan family pressed against his chest. There was nothing he could do but hold the boy tightly in his arms, even though he could see the glimmer of rage in the older man's eyes. Was this really giving William an advantage? “They will cry, just like I did father... Because they are not Thomas, and they are not men. They are children. If you refuse to stay here for another half hour, we won't have anything to even eat until we get out of America and by the time we are on the water... they will get sick. I, for one, will NOT risk losing another brother because of some stupid boat again. You got us into this mess, now make damn sure you get us out, or I will make sure you never see me or your youngest again...”

“William!” his mother bursted out but her oldest didn't listen. Instead, he put an arm around Theodore's shoulders, as if to mark that that was where he would stay, with him and his brother, until they reached a decision. In the woman's confusion and sorrow, she loosened the grip on her second son as she looked for the gaze of her husband. Within seconds, the middle child had sprinted over to his brothers and thrown himself in William's arms to be picked up. There were no tears on his cheeks or in his eyes, but he held a firm grip with his arms around his older brother's neck and his dark eyes searched for their fathers.

“If you won't listen...” he said, his voice harsh like the older man's and his eyes as strong as William's, only smaller. “...I won't go with you either. But you can go back to Germany alone, leave us here. I'm sure he wouldn't mind keeping us here and giving us food...” As he spoke, his smaller hand landed on Theodore's shoulder and he couldn't help but smile inwardly. These children grew on you, all of them.

For the first time ever, Theodore then realized, Mr Kaplan looked confused and a loss of what to do. He had obviously been planning their get away for a long time and now that he had gotten a “clear” from whoever was taking them out of America, he must have decided that they had no time to waste. Of course he had never in his wildest dreams thought William would refuse, and certainly not along with his brothers as well. His wife was crying heavily now, her face buried in her hands and even though Theodore had been so angry with her only moments ago, now he just felt pity. She had gone along with all of this, being strong through it all and lost so much... losing everything she had was too much, even for her.

“When will he be here..?” the older man finally asked and Theodore allowed himself to breath out, feeling rather good about himself and the fact that he might have been able to make a difference. However, whether the man would let William off the hook later was still an unanswered question. Somehow, Theodore suspected this bold act would not be in their favor when the time came for them to find out about that.

They sat in silence at different places in the apartment; Mr Kaplan by the kitchen table and his wife by the window in an old chair Theodore had inherited form his mother's parents. Their younger boys were sitting next to each other on the sofa, arms around each other and the older one comforting the younger with trembling pats on the head while watching his parents with angry eyes for making his little brother cry. William was the only one not sitting down, but he seemed calm where he stood by the larger window, away from his mother.

Theodore sighed and stepped over to him, touching his shoulder gently and nodded against the door of his bedroom, making it known that he wanted to speak to him in private. They both left in silence, closing the door firmly behind them before relaxing. William's eyes were already filling up with tears as soon as Theodore turned towards him again. There was a jolt of pain in the pit of his stomach and all he could do was embrace the other tightly, closing his eyes against the dark one's shoulder with his arms around his back, trying to master as much warmth as possible to try and give him the comfort he needed.

“Please let me stay...” William repeated, over and over, his voice shaking almost as much as his entire body. “Let me stay with you...”

Theodore couldn't answer, he couldn't promise it was doable, no matter how much he wanted it himself. Instead they just stood there, arms grasping around each other's backs and the slightly shorter one's tears dampening the shoulder and front of Theodore's shirt. Eventually, the other one calmed himself, or maybe he ran out of tears... either way, they were standing in silence, chest against chest, cheek against cheek. William was warm, a lot warmer now when he had been crying. There was a deep longing, growing even stronger in the pit of his stomach, the longing to be even closer than this... always.

“Someone's at the door...” the middle child said as he suddenly entered the room. He was holding his younger brother's hand tightly and looked worried, but older than his age. He had grown in the last few hours... he wasn't just a playful, innocent child anymore. He had to be older, had to grow up, to protect his family... It was such a sad thing to witness. “You have to go open it...”

Theodore nodded and slowly let the dark one go. William seemed unwilling, but let go as well, forcing a smile as if trying to calm his brothers down. It didn't work very well. Theodore sighed and gently stroked the soft hair of both the younger two. “I will all be alright soon... you'll see” he promised and left them, William following him closely. His presence felt comforting, especially when he knew he would have to pass the disappointed parents on his way to the door. He quickly checked the time and breathed out slightly, knowing that it must be Steven. He still asked by the door, to be certain and it was. With a soft movement he opened for his friend and stepped back to let him through.

The man was carrying a large bag, probably filled with food for the trip and he was wearing both bowler and a large, dark coat, concealing his face as best he could with a home-knitted scarf. “Here I am” he smiled as soon as the door had been closed behind his back by William and Theodore smiled widely.

“Thank you so much for this, Steven” he then said and shook the other's hand firmly to show his gratitude. “I can't begin to tell you how much this will help us... thank you”

“Stop it with the thanking” the blond one grinned and shook William's hand as well, his eyes bright and loving as he looked at them. He was truly a hero in the rough, Theodore was sure. “You know why I am doing this Theodore, besides.. I couldn't let you have all the action now, could I?”

William laughed, softly, and the smiled he gave almost reached his eyes. Good enough. Theodore didn't want these moments to be filled with regret and tears, even though he was fearing it might be impossible to stop it. It was better to remember the good things, like the dark one laughing and smiling as if he had no care in the world.

“Let's see what you've got”

When all was packed in new bags, after carefully been looked over by Mrs Kaplan, Steven and Theodore stood and watched as the large family once again picked their things together. They were more calm now, almost no sound was heard and they hardly even spoke. William only did so with his younger brothers and the younger ones looked away as soon as they were spoken to by their father. It would take time to heal after this, Theodore was sure... he felt sad for them, knowing that they would soon lose William too, even though they probably weren't expecting that.

“Will they make it?” Steven asked finally, as the smallest of the siblings started crying for the fourth time, burying his face in William's chest.

“They will” Theodore stated, sighing as he met brown eyes across the rooms, filled with sorrow and doubt. “..because they have to. They don't have a choice but to make it. Giving up is not an option, not when you have small children who needs you. They will keep going until they are home or somewhere safer than here...”

“What about William..? Does he agree that taking the boat out of here will get them to a safe place?”

“No...” he admitted and reached for the little one who could not stay in his friend's arms anymore. William needed his hands to pack, not to carry a crying child. He took the boy and held him tight, stroking his dark locks gently in an attempt to calm him down, which he actually succeeded with. “He doesn't. But he can't do anything else either. He would have to hide for the rest of his life if he stayed behind...”

“Something tells me he wouldn't care about that...”

“He thinks he wouldn't care...” Theodore sighed and then smiled down at the boy who was looking up at him with his large, brown puppy-like eyes. “But he would. If he lost all this... he would care a lot”

“We're all ready to go” Mr Kaplan suddenly called form the other side of the room and Steven exchanged a quick glance with Theodore before moving towards the door.

“No one was following me, I know for a fact they were going for the Eastman's tonight... you should be all clear” he said as he reached it, giving Theodore a firm pat on the shoulder as he turned to face him again. “You be strong now Theodore, and don't forget what you told me... because I certainly won't”

“I promise” Theodore smiled back and his heart melted as the boy in his arms reached out for Steven and gave him the sweetest hug ever. The blond man seemed to take this tiny act of love as the largest act of it that he had ever received. There were tears in his eyes as the little one let go.

“I'll... I'll see you tomorrow then, at work?” he then asked and Theodore gave a soft nod. He wasn't sure, but they could always hope. William had stepped up behind them, one soft hand resting against Theodore's shoulder and the other one reached out to shake Steven's.

“I'll make sure he gets there on time” he then smiled and Theodore felt his entire body tremble. He wished it could be true... The hand felt warm and comforting against him, calming his nerves somewhat. “I'm sorry my parents have been giving you angry eyes...” William then continued and sighed afterwards. “...they are having a rough day, please excuse them?”

“As long as they will be fine and get out of here in one piece, they can treat me in whatever way they see fit” Steven laughed softly and gave Theodore one last look. “Take good care of them, as long as you can...”

“I will”

And then he stepped out into the dark hallway and was gone. There was silence as the front doors slammed shut and they stood there for seconds, only listening at everything they couldn't hear. Theodore could feel his own heart beat frantically in his chest, the panic spreading from his mind throughout his entire body. This was really happening wasn't it... He was never going to see William again... was he?

There was a tingling feeling suddenly bursting from his fingertips and up his arm, leaving goosebumps as it went and it took him a couple of seconds to realize it was caused by his friend's soft fingers, curling up around his own. “We'll make it...” William whispered, his hand strong and eyes bright as Theodore caught them. “We'll all make it through this...” There was a lingering moment when that soft palm was pressed firmly against Theodore's and then the moment was gone. The dark one was moving away and left a dark hole where he had been.

“Father...” he said as he got close to his family again, his mother looking up from the bundles she had been trying to make fit for carrying. “We better head out as soon as possible, before we all get restless and make mistakes”

“Sounds good enough...” His father replied but William wasn't looking back at him. The tension between them was almost so thick you could touch it. It was unnerving and Theodore tried to shake it as he received a bag and his coat from his friend's hands.

“Thank you” he nodded and got dressed, softly placing the bowler on his head, knowing that hiding his blond hair might be essential for the rest of the city not noticing he didn't fit in with the crowd. The Kaplan family worked quickly and within the minute everyone had their clothes on and at least one bag a person to carry. The youngest of them was dragging his own bag on the floor along with a stuffed animal he had found somewhere in Theodore's apartment. He had decided that the boy could have it without question. He needed something soft and cuddly if he was going to be able to get through this. His parents had enough to carry as it was so the tiny boy had chosen to hold Theodore's hand while walking through the city. His older brother was already standing close to William, hand ready to be held.

Theodore made sure to step out of the apartment last, locking up properly behind him before resuming his grip on the younger boys hand, smiling at him as if nothing was wrong at all, even though both their worlds were about to come crushing down. The little one looked terrified, but smiled back, as if he knew it was expected of him to smile, not to cry.

His legs were almost shaking as they hurried between houses and down quiet streets. Thunder was rumbling somewhere far off and the younger boys kept looking up at him as if he was the only thing safe they could hold on to. William was being strong, softly urging his brother to keep holding onto his hand and walk without thinking about the roars from the sky, Theodore could do nothing to calm the one he was desperately clasping hands with. The boy was crying again, even though his small legs brought him forward as fast as they could. At least he didn't refuse to move. Theodore was pretty sure he would not have been able to move if he had been that tiny in a situation like this.

“Don't be scared...” he hushed and smiled, knowing it couldn't be a very convincing sentence or smile, but it was the only thing he could think of saying. “Don't be scared... thunder won't hurt you, I promise...”

“How do you know..?” the little one sobbed and let go of Theodore's hand momentarily to rub his eyes. He stopped to wait for the boy, rushing him wouldn't help. Once more he knelt in front of him, smiling just like he had done that day when finding him on that park bench a week ago. He softly reached his free hand up and ruffled those brown locks, not caring if they were stalling.

“Because I'll protect you...”

“Theodore!” William called from a street corner up ahead and he looked up, meeting those panicking eyes, realizing just how scared they both where even though trying to convince the little ones not to be. “We have to hurry... please!”

“Come on, let's catch up to your family, alright?” he smiled immediately as he turned to the boy again and when receiving a nod, he picked the child up in his arms, even though his own bag was heavier than any bag he had ever carried. That, plus the weight of the boy and his luggage should have been more than he could carry, but the adrenaline must have given him the push to still hurry down the street.

As they turned the corner to the right, from Hester Street to Essex Street, the sky was on fire and the low rumbling Theodore had until now believed to be distant thunder, was clearly coming from the burning of a large building. The boy in his arms was panicking and gripping tightly around his neck in an attempt to hide his face from the burning light of the flames. “It's ok...” Theodore mumbled, eyes wide and heart racing. “It's all going to be ok...”

The fire hadn't spread far, only to a couple of bushes surrounding the old building... The house had not been used for years, thank God. But if there was a fire, someone would be there to put it out and along with them there would be police and... They really couldn't stand around and wait for them to show up, now could they?

“Let's keep going!” he called and gave a short smile to William before hurrying past him. Mr and Mrs Kaplan where already on their way down the street, away from the fire and he could hear the hesitant steps of his friend as he too started following them.

“Theodore!” he called and even though he knew waiting was futile at this point, he still stopped long enough for William to catch up to them. “Why are there no people here..? There should be a lot of people here trying to control the situation... otherwise it will spread?”

“Don't worry about it... they will come... you worry about getting out of here with us instead...”

“You don't understand!” William's voice was filled with panic and fright but there was nothing he could do to help him. He couldn't let everything go and stand there to hold him this time. Panic was good if it made you move forward, bad if it made you stop. “Theodore! The entire block could burn, but no one is out on the street... no one is trying to run or trying to put the fire out. No one! Why? The house must have been burning for more than just a couple of minutes and people usually run when fires spread...”

“I don't know...” he admitted, still not looking back, still going. The heat of the flames had died off and only left a gushing warmth on his skin. The cold evening smelled of fire smoke now, but at least it was nice and cool. As long as the Kaplan family was safe come tomorrow, he wouldn't care how many he would have to pull out of burned down buildings. It was up to them to realize they had to run away when there was a fire, not up to William or Theodore to tell them to do so.

“Someone must have put fire to that place...” His words didn't make sense at first. Theodore tried to shake them but he couldn't when he started to understand what they could really mean. Confusing as it was and scared as he felt, he stopped, eyes looking back at William.

“What are you saying..?”

“I'm not sure I just...” the dark one sighed and looked back at the roaring flames. “What if the people living here were too scared to go out on the streets in the first place... what if the people that did this were doing something before they set the house on fire, so that these people wouldn't dare to escape..?”

“You mean... they want to burn down the entire neighborhood, killing everyone inside their homes..?”

“I don't know what I'm saying...” he admitted.

“William, I know you might want to help but...”

“It's not that” his friend interrupted almost immediately and shook his head. “I just can't believe that there isn't a single person out here, that there is no fire brigade and no one throwing water from their windows... I can't hear a single scream or crying child, Theodore. It frightens me, more than running for the harbor... because...” he stopped and drew a deep breath, his eyes glossy now and both the younger boys looked terrified. Theodore quickly let go of the bag he was carrying and smiled down at them both before putting the youngest one down on the ground next to his brother.

“Listen to me...” he said, firmly but calmly and reached out to gently tap their shoulders with his large hands. “You have to run now, can you do that for me?” As both of them nodded, he smiled even wider and nodded too. “You see your mother over there, run for her and do whatever she tells you, you are in a hurry. Nothing is going to hurt you, I promise” he added quickly as the younger's bottom lip started shaking more than it already was. “I'm so very proud of you and very glad I got the privilege to know you... But now you have to be good boys again and do as we tell you, you can do that can't you?”

Both of them nodded and took off, the smaller one's bag still dragged after him against the ground but there was nothing they could do about it. They were fast for having such small legs. He would miss them... he knew he would.

“William..” he then said and turned to the man, who was keeping his eyes closed hard as if preventing his tears from spilling. “William. If you truly believe there is something going on then you'll have to look at me and talk to me. You can cry, it's ok, as long as you talk to me... We're in this thing together and I will let nothing happen to you or your family” The other opened his eyes, tears rolling silently down his cheeks but he was nodding, determined it seemed. “Good...” Theodore continued and gave a quick smile before turning to watch the two boys reach their mother. “Do you think it's the police..?”

“What do you mean..?”

“They were going for the hide out today, at Corlear's Hook. I was thinking that maybe it backfired... literally?” he explained and looked around, seeing no faces in the windows and no one hiding in the dark alleys. “What if they came here, and met resistance they were not expecting...”

“Shouldn't we have heard something..?”

“Not necessarily...” he answered and shook his head as he spoke. “We were panicking and running. I heard the sound of the fire a long time ago it seems, thought it was nothing but thunder... but if they were here half an hour ago we hadn't even started running. We couldn't have heard a fight from my home, not when it being this far. Since it is in the middle of the night, or close to it, people were in bed as it started and didn't dare leave their homes when realizing what was going home, afraid of being caught in the middle, which means we weren't met by screaming people and therefore didn't get the warning..”

“But there is no sign of a fight..?” William was strolling now, his bag on the ground and his eyes searching for something on the walls of the building next to him. “And why would people, in a city like this, be afraid to run out when the police are there, handling the situation..?”

“They probably had guns...” Theodore stated and backed his theory up when finding a hole in the brick wall, only a few feet from where William was standing. “See? It doesn't matter that the police were here. No matter who are fighting, if one side has guns, you really shouldn't get in between them... people know this.”

“But still... where are they now..? They couldn't have left a burning building behind, the police I mean, if they had already apprehended the suspects..?”

“True...” Theodore felt his stomach clench and his heart skip a few beats. They weren't captured yet, which would indicate that they were still somewhere close but the roar from the fire must be eating away at all other sound coming from nearby alleys. “...we have to be careful, and should probably go warn your family. We wouldn't want to be caught in it all, right? We might even have to take another way... If the little ones get tired we might have to carry them, as long as we get there”

William nodded and hurried back to his things, picking them up with a grunt from the effort and they both hurried down the street as well. Theodore tried desperately to shut out all sound of the burning building but it was hard to hear anything else but his own heartbeat when doing so. “Stay close to me...” he managed, eyes tracing William's face for a moment. “And if your hear anything, let me know..”

“I promise”

When they reached the rest of the Kaplan family, they had apparently stopped to wait for the two of them. Mr Kaplan seemed to want to shout, but before he could open his mouth, his oldest son spoke. “We found bullet holes in the wall...” he explained and gave both his parents a serious look. “...Father, they're out here somewhere and if we're not careful, both the police and the Eastmans might be on to us sooner than we think...”

“The burning house?” the older man asked and Theodore nodded along with his friend. “Should we take another street?”

“That's the thing...” William sighed back and gave Theodore a quick gaze before continuing. “We have no clue which street they have taken or whether they were really waiting for us or the police... They could have been running, they could have been the ones following... we have no idea”

“Then I'll go first and see if the coast is clear” the older man smiled quickly and took off before his family had any time to object. His wife looked as if she was on the brink of both fainting and screaming but she said nothing. Maybe she was secretly blaming her husband as well, for all the things she had had to sacrifice for him... because of him.

“I'll stop him” Theodore burst, much to his own surprise and hurried after the man with his heavy load still thrown over his shoulder. He tried not to listen to his name being cried out behind him, he couldn't listen to that now. If Mr Kaplan got caught in the crossfire, both sides would get exactly what they wanted and all their hard work would have been for nothing. No. He couldn't let that happen... “Hey!” he called as he approached the corner at which the other one had stopped to look out ahead and he didn't wait for the response. “You can't seriously think you can do this?”

The man looked up in confusion and looked back at his family, that were too far away to hear them at this point. “What do you mean, Theodore?”

“Your family have risked everything for your sake, sir. They have gone through hell, time and time again, safe houses and dark nights without knowing what will come of you or them, without knowing whether you would be alive the following morning or if their mother would be back when she's been visiting you! They have fought so hard to keep your broken family together, so hard that even though they would rather stay here and hide forever, they agree to once more cross the ocean with you, and for what? To be able to return to a county that you have already left once because of problems similar to this...”

“You don't know anything about our home or our family...” the older started and straightened his back as if trying to be tall and intimidating. But it didn't work on Theodore. He had had enough.

“I know enough!” he interrupted and let his own bag fall to the ground. “Do you know your son's cry themselves to sleep at night, even though you've obviously told them boys don't cry? Do you know how your wife looks at you when you've turned your back or how your oldest son would rather confide in a complete stranger about his emotions than talk to you about it?” He paused to see if the man had anything further to say but apparently he'd lost his tongue. “I know your family better than you think, sir, and with all due respect... if you do this, putting your life on the line for them, again, as I am sure you would put it, you would do them more harm than good. See, if they lose you, who will be there to defend them when they re-enter Germany?”

“William will...”

“He won't.” he interrupted again and his eyes felt like they would turn to ash any moment now. “He won't go with you. Are you really that blind... You can't tell when your own son is dying on the inside? When he tells you one thing but means to tell another?” The man looked shocked but didn't speak. “Go back to your family and stay alive. Being a scout now would only give everyone else what they want and make your family lose the only thing they can rely on...”

“Then how do you propose we do this? I don't suspect you would volunteer to be at the front line...” Those words were mocking and cold. How a man like this could be so emotionless was hard to understand and it made Theodore even more angry. How could he take this with such ease and still come out being cold and stone faced on the other side?

“Why? Because we policemen are all alike?” he spat back and almost felt like spitting the older one in the face out of rage and annoyance. “You have to realize, that if I would have met only you and you asked me to help you, I would never have done so...” This was probably not true, Theodore would have helped him anyway, but his eyes traveled back to the boys, to his friend, eyes filling with embarrassing tears. “...but it's all because of them. And I don't care what you think of me as a policeman, I really don't. But know this; as a friend, I would die for them” With this, he stepped past the older man, eyes not even falling on him. “Go back to them, let me handle this...”

The other one didn't even speak before leaving and somehow that was a good thing. No matter what he would have said, Theodore was quite sure it would just have angered him more. It was strange to be standing there alone, however, with no little boy to cling to his hand and only the heavy things slamming against his back as he picked it up again. He sighed and smiled though, there was nothing else he could do but shoulder the responsibility he had been given and do his job. He'd done things like this before after all..


	7. Chapter 7

The street around the corner was Canal Street from left to right, crossing the street he was on. There was nothing on it, but he heard movement coming from somewhere not too far away. He hesitated, not knowing whether it was clear to cross the road and continue down Broadway until they reached Rutgers Street and let it take them to the water, or if to take another rout and lose time but maybe not risk their lives. He looked back at the family, knowing they were probably safe where they were, at least for now. “Stay where you are” he whispered, knowing they probably couldn't hear and tried to show what he meant by holding his hand up for a moment. William was nodding. Good enough.

His first few steps out on the street were hesitant and he chose to leave his pack behind. If all was clear he could just come back and get it. After all, he would have to tell the Kaplans it was all good too. He looked around, eyes flickering and heart almost breaking his rib cage while trying to keep him alive. Being a policeman had never been this scary... He had never felt this vulnerable, never this fragile...

Suddenly there was a bang behind him, coming from the neighboring alley of the one he had just left, a bang sounding frighteningly much like a gun, releasing its bullet. He panicked and looked for a way out that wouldn't lead anyone to his friend's hideout, but all he could see was the empty streets and more alleys he didn't even have the names for. There were voices now, and before he had the time to make a run for it, the street seemed to be filled with people. It wasn't, there were only about twenty of them, men dressed in black... Theodore thought his heart would stop and crouched next to the wall, hoping his figure wouldn't be noticed in the darkness around them. People were shouting and there were guns firing, his breath quickened and all he could think about and wish for was that the ones he had been trying to protect wouldn't come running out the alley or wouldn't be discovered by someone who had taken another rout.

He saw Anthony now, his right eye bleeding and his coat ripped at the arm, but he was very much alive, shouting orders as he went. There were a lot of officers now, but not all of them old timers. Had they stayed behind..? Probably not. Anthony would have wanted to surround himself men he could trust and fight with.. not men like these. Had they fallen..?

Theodore didn't have time for this, when judging it was right, he got up and hurried back into the alley, making sure he wasn't seen by anyone close by before he ran up the street, carrying his things as high of the ground as he could until dropping it again when arriving at the terrified group of people he had left behind in the darkness only moments ago. Before he had time to speak, he had both the younger boys and their big brother thrown in his arms, William hugging him tightly around the neck while whispering how stupid he was over and over until Theodore finally managed to break free of his grip.

“We don't have much time..” he explained, unable to look the dark one in the eye but gripping his hand hard in his own without even thinking about it himself. “...they're down there, all of them... we need to take another way or else we'll all be caught or possibly worse...”

“Which way then?” Mr Kaplan hurried, apparently starting to realize that he had been acting carelessly earlier, now that Theodore almost hadn't made it out of there alive.

“I don't know...” Theodore sighed and regretted the desperation he had let slip along with his words. “Grand Street..?”

William shook his head and tightened his grip around Theodore's fingers, making him realize they were actually still holding hands... “We can't go back up there, the entire street must be on fire by now... and if not, the fire brigade will be there and a lot of people with them. We can't risk getting separated, not now.”

“Then we wait?” Mrs Kaplan sounded scared but calm, for a woman in her position. “We have nowhere else to go if not back or forth...”

Silence fell between them and Theodore gripped the other's hand back just as hard, eyes stinging from smoke and fright. They had to get through this, no matter what. The youngest was clinging to his mother now and she picked him up, smiling at him even though there were tears in her eyes.

“We can't give up... that's for sure...” he finally managed to say without sounding as if though he was about to break down form the inside. “We'll make it through this, somehow... we'll just have to wait and see what happens, yes?”

“Yes...”

There was a gush of wind, grabbing their clothes and making him freeze. His bowler blew off but he had no strength to get it now. Everything else seemed so meaningless now, from his job and memories of his father to the fact that if someone saw him holding hands with this man he would probably be hanged when all this was over. Ok, maybe not hanged... But still. He couldn't bring himself to care anymore, whatever happened after this day was worth nothing, if he couldn't hold his promise to these boys, to their family. Nothing.

The youngest, now with dried eyes and the stuffed toy in his arms, jumped down from his mother's arms and ran off after it. Maybe he could get to keep it, as a memory and thank you for brightening Theodore's life, at least for a little while. He could always by a new one if he'd need one. He sighed and took a step closer to his friend, wanting him closer... His eyes followed the boy on his journey after the hat, how he jumped forth as if nothing was happening and he was just playing back in the park with his brother and friends... If he'd never found him by the ice that day, if he hadn't taken him home or listened to William's words... this wouldn't have happened. Anthony wouldn't have suspended him, they would never have been down there, fighting to the death against a street gang that would probably keep roaming the streets anyway, no matter how many policemen where after them. Theodore would never have pulled Steven into it all, never had put William's family in this mess... They might have been alright on their own...

He snapped out of it with a gasp, letting go of William's hand as he dashed forward. The boy had stopped to pick the bowler up from the ground, brushing it off with a smile on his face, back turned to the man in the mouth of the alley, a man pulling his gun.

“Get down!” he heard himself scream, not even knowing if he was heard or if the others were fast enough to react. The boy in front of him looked up at him, eyes wide and his toy falling to the ground as he was about to turn, to see what his blond protector was so terrified of. Theodore got to him just before he had the time to see the gun and the man with it, swiped him up in his arms and dashed after William, who had pulled his parents and brother into the narrow opening between two houses. Everything happened so quickly and all he could think of was to get the little one to safety, get him out of there. There were three shots fired, he heard them, felt his heart race from the adrenaline rush, his feet hitting the ground harder and harder with every step before excruciating pain exploded in his body and left him unable to move, stuck in the crossfire with nowhere to run and no control over his own body, losing the grip of the boy before it all got blurry.

“Theodore!”

He opened his eyes and tried to gasp for air but it seemed almost impossible for him to breathe. Had he gotten the air knocked out of his lungs? He blinked to try and bring the world back into focus, only slightly aware of the numbing pain in his lower abdomen. What caught his attention was the cold fingers clasping his cheeks and straightening his neck, the brown, tear filled eyes meeting his own and the hot drops hitting his forehead and nose.

“That's right...” William half whispered and smiled, his lips shaking and his eyes flickering up as if he was half expecting someone to pull him away from there. “...Stay with me, you're going to be just fine. You hear me..? Theodore?”

“Y-yeah...” he responded, smiling when realizing he had been able to. He wasn't at all clear about where he was or what had happened, but judging from the tears still hitting his skin, he suspected it was pretty bad, whatever it was. “Your brother..?” he then tried but stared coughing uncontrollably and without any visible reason to him. It was only then that he noticed the strong, metallic taste in his mouth. Was he bleeding?

“It's ok, sshh, don't talk..!” the dark one hurried and his voice gave away his panic, laid his emotions bare on the ground next to him. “He's alright, you saved his life...”

“Oh good” he smiled back, trying not to think because his head hurt more than it usually did. Maybe he had hit his head as well? “I'm a real hero then...”

“You are” William almost sobbed out and smiled too, his fingers digging softly into Theodore's skin as he did so. “Now don't talk... I'll get you out of here, you'll see. You just need to rest... You'll be fine...”

Somewhere in the distance someone was calling for the other, but William only shook his head as more tears fell. For a man saying everything would be alright, he sure cried a lot. Theodore didn't like it and tried to reach out to touch the other, only to realize that his hand was heavier than usual and his body aching as he tried to move it.

“What happened..?” he asked, trying to remember but it was all a blur. The other wasn't listening. His head was turned away from him and his hands trembling just as his lips had done just now. “William... what happened?”

“You... you we're helping my brother, he... he was fetching your bowler hat and then...” his friend tried but his voice broke off and his eyes widened as Theodore finally managed to reach for his face. His own hand was covered in red liquid; blood. Was it his own? It probably was... William looked terrified and Theodore pulled his hand away again.

“I'll be fine...” he then smiled and tried to move his body but there was no response, no movement other than his arm. “It can't be that bad, see? I can move my arm and everything...” William only shook his head. “Don't be so negative, I've been through worse, trust me...” Theodore tried and reached for him again but it was impossible to stretch that far. “Can you come closer... I want to look at you...”

He didn't know why he wanted to see him so badly, maybe because his body was hurting and he needed all the comfort he could get. But really, it wasn't that. It was something else. At first he thought William wouldn't move, but after about a minute, the dark one wiped his eyes and removed his coat to put it underneath Theodore's head before moving. He seated himself next to him instead and leaned slightly forward so that Theodore could see him better.

“You have dirt on your nose...” Theodore smiled and reached for it in an attempt to wipe it off but instead smeared some red onto the other's pale skin. “I'm sorry...”

“Don't be...” William hurried and drew a deep, shaking breath. “Don't be sorry. I'm here now...” At this, he grabbed Theodore's hand gently and pulled it to his chest, holding it tight to his heart. “See? Everything's going to be alright...”

“You already said that...”

William gave a soft half chuckle, half sob and looked up at something Theodore couldn't see, but he saw the sadness in those brown eyes which he was sure the other didn't want him notice.

“Don't be sad...” he tried and gave the hand holding his a soft squeeze, making the other shed even more tears. “No, no I said, don't be sad... No more tears William...”

“You're in no position telling me that...” the dark one objected and looked back down at him, his eyes over flooding and his bottom lip trembling even more than before. “You're leaving me, I have all right to be sad!”

“Nobody's going to leave anyone...” Theodore's smiled and felt his heart skip a beat again, not sure if it actually did it for real now or if it was just something that happened when he looked into those deep eyes. He hoped it was the latter. “Calm down, please... Tell me what happened?” He felt stronger now and the numbing pain from before had almost vanished. He should be alright soon, no worries.

“There was a man from the police station... I recognized him. He shot you in the back...”

“Oh...” It really was the only thing he could say to that. He hadn't been expecting to hear that... He'd thought, at least for a while there, that he might have tripped and fallen? Not gotten shot at... “Is it bad..?”

“You've lost a lot of blood...”

“I see...”

William shuddered and closed his eyes for a moment, looking cold and lonely where he sat and Theodore tried to move his hand and stroke his cheek but... it felt as if though he was lifting it, yet, it went nowhere. “You fell to the ground and my father took my brother and ran for it... my mother followed. I stayed behind with you...”

“Why did you do that..?” The surprise was evident in his voice and it almost made him smile. Why was he even being surprised his friend had stayed? He would have done the same thing for William after all.

“I couldn't leave you...” the dark one admitted and lowered his gaze to the ground. “And the man who shot you, he... ran off. I saw no reason why I couldn't stay with you...”

“And your family..?”

“They're waiting for me... my father called for me but I won't go. They'll have to leave without me. Nothing could make me leave you... this is all my fault. I can't just abandon you when you're injured. Theodore, you're all I've got... please. Don't die on me, alright? You'll make it through this... right?”

“Hey, William...” he smiled and nodded the best he could. “Calm down... of course I'll be alright? One bullet's not enough to kill me, I promise.”

The other smiled. “You're a very bad liar, Theodore... has anyone ever told you that?”

He chose not to answer and only looked up at his friend, his vision started to blur up again. He was shaking, William, he must be so cold. “Maybe this would be the time for you to tell them you're staying with me..?” The other nodded and looked up again, towards his family Theodore suspected. “Otherwise they may end up missing their only chance to get out of here...” He started coughing again and his throat felt like it was about to burst. He closed his eyes hard and heard the other gasp and felt him clasp his hand harder. “I'm so glad to have met you William...”

“Shut up..! Don't talk like that... you can tell me when you're all fixed up and better... just rest for now, you'll be fine. You promised...”

“You said I lied”

William's eyes were large and his breath quick, but there was something calm about him still, something strong beneath all that sorrow. “You did” he said and let his right hand stroke a strand of damp hair out of Theodore's face. “But you still promised...”

“I can't feel my body anymore... and I can't see you very well...” He didn't know why he said it. His words sounded harsh and like the words of one who has given up. They would only hurt the other more but... he couldn't lie. He didn't want to lie to him. William shifted and bent closer to him, slowly coming into focus, his brown eyes still large and filled with terror but his movements calm and composed.

“You see me now..?”

“Yeah...” Theodore smiled and enjoyed the warmth from the other's breath against his cold nose. “I can see you clearly now...”

“What do you see?”

“You”

“Please don't leave me...”

“I'll never leave you...” he promised, his own eyes filling up with tears which made it harder for him to see again. He felt the other's fingers dry them away, shaking they were but comforting against his cold skin. They seemed neither hot nor cold now... or maybe it was just his own cheek that had grown cold? “I swear to you... I'll always be here... right here...”

“I know...” the dark one replied and closed his eyes as his tears mixed with Theodore's, dripping down his cheeks to hit the ground beneath him. William leaned closer and rested his forehead against his, the warmth from it almost overwhelming, breathtaking. “I know...”

“William..”

The warm skin was suddenly gone from him and when Theodore looked up, all he could see was blurry colors and tones of grey. He couldn't move and he could scarcely hear. The muffled voice of Mrs Kaplan was soon all around him and he closed his eyes to try and focus on her words, feeling William's hand still gripping his to his heart.

“Sweetheart it's time to go...”

“Mother...” his friend tried, his voice already breaking and Theodore could feel the vibrations in his chest as he spoke. “You cannot possibly ask me to leave him like this... you'll have to go without me..”

“We can't do that” she answered almost immediately, as if she had been expecting that to be his answer. “Your brothers refuse to go...”

“Then make them..? You seemed to be perfectly fine with making me go? And those two you can just pick up and carry onto the boat...”

“I won't do that to them...”

“But to me you would..?!” He was losing his cool and somehow, the deja vu Theodore was having was scaring him. Would she hit him again and force him to go without them saying goodbye? Would she scream and blame him at a moment like this? In a place like this, where they could be discovered and in worst case scenario be killed? Would he let him go... just let his fingers slip away and never touch him ever again..? “I've made up my mind... I'm staying with him”

“He'll die...” she almost whispered, as if fearing what her son would do if he heard those words spoken out loud. “Soon..”

“Not if I get him help!”

“If you get him help they will lock you both up for the rest of your lives...”

“William...” Theodore managed to cough out and smiled as the other one reappeared inside the circle of blurriness where he could be seen. “...I think, maybe... you should listen to your mother this time...”

“No..” the other replied and his eyes widened once more. “No, no no... don't say that... not you too”

“I know you want to stay... William, I would have loved it if you'd stayed... but if I don't make it through this, who will make sure you don't get caught or perish..? I could never forgive myself for leaving you, so... you have to leave me now”

“How can you say that?! How can you ask this of me I...”

“Please...” Theodore interrupted and closed his eyes, his chest hurting for some reason when he tried to breathe. Strange. “Do this one thing for me..?”

“You're asking me to do something impossible..!” William's grip around his hand suddenly hardened. “You say you would never forgive yourself for leaving me than how do you think I would feel if I left you here to die?!” As he spoke, his tears burned Theodore's skin where they hit and the woman walked away, as if she knew there was nothing she could say to make her son change her mind, it was up to the man on the ground to do that. Theodore was glad she left... he felt monitored and judged whenever she was around.

“You're not going to leave me to die... William” he smiled and closed his eyes softly again. There was something sticky near them, causing his eyelashes to almost glue themselves together and they were hard to open again. “But I need you to do this for me... and I promise you, I will not leave, I will not die... I won't give up, William. As long as you don't”

The dark one cried harder, his forehead now resting against Theodore's chest. For some reason the weight seemed to make it slightly easier for him to breathe again and he drew a deep one, clasping William's hand back hard with all his might. The other's free hand curled itself up in his hair, giving Theodore the strangest goosebumps all the way down his neck and out to his fingertips. “Don't ask this of me... please...”

“Then I'll beg it of you, until you let me go...”

William shook his head and looked up, a red mark on his forehead from where he had been resting it against Theodore's body. He was bleeding a lot now. That was never a good sign. “Theodore...”

“I never meant for this to happen...” he smiled and managed to stroke the other's fingers with his thumb. “I never meant to hurt you or anyone you care about...”

“The only one who's hurt is you...”

“And you don't care about me?” he chuckled but regretted it immediately as his throat filled up with liquid, forcing him to cough repeatedly until there was blood trickling down his chin. The other's eyes were wide with terror but he was soon there again, a napkin in hand to dry the blood away. “That won't do any good...”

“It's the only thing I can do...” William sighed and his tears smeared a drop of blood which had landed on his pale cheek. “...the only thing I can do for you...”

“No it isn't...” he objected and blinked slowly, his eyelashes sticking together again. “You have to go, William. That much you can do...”

“But I told you I'd...”

“William” He interrupted, his voice raspy and his vision so blurry he couldn't see his friend anymore. “William.. for me. Please. For me...”

His thoughts drifted now, no matter how hard he tried to stay focused, he couldn't stop himself. He was cold, but still warm. It was like the presence of the other kept him clear, but the more he cried, the more Theodore ended up drifting. He wasn't even sure if what he heard William say was really something that was happening or just a voice he was imagining. He could hear his name being spoken, hear it being cried out but he couldn't respond... he couldn't open his eyes again. He wanted to talk to him longer, wanted to see him smile, hear his laughter. He wanted to smile with him too, pick his brother up and run around in the sun with them, wanted to stay longer... with them. With him.

“I'll be back for you...”

The words made him smile on the inside, made him warm and cozy somehow. William would be back for him, would come back from where ever he meant he was going... Where was it he was going? It all got very cold, very suddenly and Theodore gasped for air, his back hurting as he tried to move, hand freezing and lonely against the hard stones covering the street where William had left it. He was alone in the dark alley now, alone in the darkness. He should blame himself and no one else. He had been the one to tell William to go... Even though he wished he hadn't.

“Theodore!” William's voice was the most beautiful sound he had ever heard and the other's knees hitting the ground even more so. His fingers gripped his hand once more and his presence almost forced Theodore's eyes open again. He couldn't see much but the blurry outlining of the other's face but it was enough to make him smile. “Thank God...” the dark one exhaled and smiled as well, even though his tears were still falling. “Told you I'd be back for you...”

“Where did you go..?” His voice sounded strange and weak but at least he could still speak. The taste of iron in his mouth made him nauseous though, and he had to swallow hard to be able to breathe properly again.

“I went to get you help...” the dark one smiled but there was something in his voice which sounded different from before. He didn't have much time.

“What do you mean..?”

“Theodore, listen to me...” William interrupted and drew closer, his fingers trembling as they gently stroked his cold skin, leaving warm trails behind them as if they had the power to warm up everything they touched. “I... I don't want to leave but...”

“Please...”

“Shut it, I'm talking...” came the sobbing reply and Theodore closed his mouth, wondering if he would ever be able to open it again. “You'll survive this, you hear me? Because you promised me you would... You promised that if I go, you'll survive... right? So I'm going... for you. You said I could do that for you do you remember..?” Theodore could only nod slightly, his head pounding loudly enough to drown out all other sounds, but he focused as hard as he could on the other's voice. “So you promise now, and I... I'll go... So please... never leave. Never. You hear?”

“I hear...”

“Swear it...”

“I swear... cross my heart...”

“Theodore, I'll never forget you, and what you've done for me... for my family... you know that right?” His voice was forced and it sounded as if he was trying to hold the tears back. He really shouldn't need to. The last thing Theodore had wanted was for the other one to lose yet another important person like this... It was all his fault.

“Likewise...” he responded and felt his fingers slowly numbing. Soon, he couldn't feel the warmth of William's hand against it anymore. Typical. His skin had felt so good against his own. “Thank you, William...”  
“For what..?”

“For everything you've made me feel this week...” he smiled, his cheeks feeling stiff. Was he really smiling or had he just had that intention and not succeeded? “Everything..”

“Theodore..?” There was panic in his voice again but he was so comfortable that he really didn't feel the need to respond. A tiny voice at the back of his mind told him that might not be his best choice of action, but the warmth still lingering against his arm and his cheek was soft and comforting. He only needed this and nothing else. There was a soft pressure against his entire body, a warmth he had not been expecting, warm fingers against his cheeks, through his hair... against his lips. His lips.

“I love you...” Theodore sighed but there was no answer. Only silence.

“Theodore... No no no, Theodore, can you hear me..?” This was another voice, a darker one. The pressure against his body was still there, but it wasn't warm anymore. Had he left..? He hadn't heard him leave..? He hadn't even noticed...

“William...” he tried to say but it only left him as a whisper.

“No, he's gone..” the man next to him answered, hand reaching to rest underneath Theodore's head. Large hands. “It's Anthony... I'm here now... And I won't go after him. I promise... just stay with me, please?”

“Anthony..?”

“Yes” the older man nodded. His voice was strong but with cracks in it, the sadness flowing straight through them as he spoke. “Now don't speak... I'll get you looked at. Please stay with me, alright? You'll be fine, I'll make sure of it just... just don't speak”

“How did you..?” Talking made him cough but there was not much more he felt he needed to say. His throat burned when he tried to swallow and his body was growing numb more quickly now than before.

“He came running out on the street...” his godfather explained, footsteps vibrating all around him suggesting there were paramedics working on his wound, but he could feel nothing. “...calling for me apparently, did you tell him my name? I wasn't there... but someone went to fetch me, saying that you had been hurt I... Theodore...”

“I only wanted to help...” he responded weakly, already drifting off again, but this time there was no warmth to keep him, no soft hands or fingers through his hair. “...don't hurt him”

“I promise... I won't even send someone after him but Theodore..” His voice was rough now, was he crying? Theodore tried to open his eyes, tried to look into the other's but realized they weren't the eyes he wanted to see... He blinked very slowly and looked straight up at the deep blue blur that was the sky.

“Thank you...” he whispered and made the other one call out for more help, but he could hear no response. “There was a man...” he then mumbled, not sure why. “...he was going to hurt the little boy...”

“I'll find out who did this to you...”

“I won't make it... will I?”

“Don't even ask that! Of course you will... Theodore, you have to make it through this, see? Your mother needs you to, I need you to...”

“I don't need me to...” It was the truth. He had promised, but he had known he couldn't keep it. Anything to get William to safety... Anything. “I don't need me to...”

“Of course you do!”

There was warmth again, no pain, only warmth. The pressure against his body still lingered, a soft nudge of the same kind against his lips. He wondered what his mother would do, and Cassandra. What would be said about him? Would they know what he had done to help a poor family from the slums, or would they learn great stories about his fall in the battle? Just like his father had been made out to be a hero... when all he must have done was cry and wish he had just stayed home that day... He smiled a little, the suffocating feeling almost gone now, the cold air feeling good as it entered his lungs for the last time. Probably. “Tell Steven...”

“Tell him what? Theodore..? Tell him what..?”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter of "I fought the law" and I just want to say thank you for all the support I have gotten from both friends and strangers while completing this fanfiction! It has been a privilege!

_Berlin  
1st of November 1938_

_Dear Theodore,_

_There are so many things I wish to tell you and probably not enough paper for me to wrote it down on, so instead of gambling with it and coming out short, I will start this letter as if nothing ever changes around here and see where that takes me._

_Hello, how are you? I am fine, thank you for asking. It feels relieving to write you my letters, even though I know you will never read them (I will most likely keep them in the drawer where I keep all the rest). It is almost like having a conversation with you where you only listen and smile slightly at me, which is of course how I imagine you reacting to the stories I tell you._

_I find myself surprised almost every morning as I wake, realizing that I have grown into an old man, with wrinkles and all that comes with it. I have not much more to live for now than my morning coffee and my niece’s children. On the inside I feel young as ever though. I wonder if I have you to thank for that?_

_Not a day goes by that I do not think about you and the time we spent together. I know I have told you this in almost all my letters and please don't ask me to explain why. Through all my years those few days with you are the days I remember the most. They have stuck with me and still follow me in my dreams. In a good way that is, you don't have to worry. I think, without those days, I would not have been as strong as I would say I still am today._

_As I am sure I have told you in earlier letters, my family is a joy to spend time with. My brother's daughter and son are a delight and just as close to me as if they had been my own. Having them around makes me forget for a moment that I never had any children... Though that being a conscious decision, I think you would just laugh and tell me it was my own doing. And I really shouldn't dwell on the past, I know. However, they seem they all seem to have less and less time to spend with me. My niece, is the only one still willing to listen to my stories. She even writes down what I have to say sometimes, why I'm still not sure. Maybe it is because she finds it interesting, maybe she thinks I'm mad and would like to prove it to me some day._

_I have been thinking about telling her about you, even though it feels strange, given the fact that your name was just as quietly kept as my brother's when we came back here. I kept you to myself for years, not telling anyone from fear of losing what little I still had of you. Even as I speak now, I look up to see your bowler hat still lying on the mantel. My brother gave it to me when I joined them by the water that day, he said he thought I should have it. He was so small back then but still such a bright boy. It is my most beloved possession. And it would be worth nothing at all to anyone else but me. I am also sure the girl would find out story very interesting, by the way. She has been dying to know how on earth we got out of America in the first place, and why we didn't stay there. Up until now, I've told her I don't remember. And as I say that, she wrinkles her nose and says we would probably have been better off in America than here. She is probably right._

_Theodore, my friend, I am worried and the worry is slowly draining all the energy I have left. What will come of us the day this gets out of hand? What will happen to my family and those sweet children playing outside my window? We have for years been seen as a “problem” here, as if being the pest not only of this country, but of the world. We are no longer citizens of this city, we are vermin ready to be dealt with. I wish I was with you, instead of here. Any day now, hell could break loose._

_Somehow I am glad my father died long before all this started. He was a good man. Putting him through the pain of realizing he had probably made the wrong choice in bringing us back here would just have been cruel and he would not have been able to forgive himself. It is up to us now to fend for ourselves I suppose. Or well, the younger generations. I will most likely be sitting here in my chair until I finally fall asleep one day and never wake up again. A peaceful way to die, that is what I have always wished for. But not for a couple of years still. I have much more left to tell the girl. She would have liked you, so telling her the story might be a good place to start. Right?_

_Well, enough with depression and thoughts of war. I gave you enough of that in my last letter really. Let us hope this will all die down and that everyone finally realizes one people cannot be the sole reason for all the hunger and conflicts in the world. Or maybe everyone else is just a bit too stupid for their own good, wouldn’t you agree?_

_As I told you earlier, I don't have much more paper to spare. We have a low supply and it is not even sure I will be able to buy more when the few sheets we have are all used up. There are so many ridiculous laws now that I don't seem to keep up with knowing what I am allowed to do and not do anymore._

_The thought of never seeing you again was harder to bear than the fact that I never did get to know whether you survived or not. I tell myself every day that you are still out there somewhere, fighting for the good cause and helping the people who most need it. In my eyes, you will always be a hero. Always. I will never forget that you are in some ways always with me as well. Don't forget that it goes both ways..._

_Yours truly,_

_William, Billy, Kaplan_

_You have something that is only yours, given by me to no one but you. Keep it with you forever, will you? I intend never to share it and never had until I gave it to you. Even though I know you probably will or already have, know that the only one I ever wanted, was you. I will always keep you in my heart, no matter what anyone else tell me. I will always love you. I wish you knew._


End file.
